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to be angry at my DH? [Title edited by MNHQ]

(115 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread.

MyBreadIsEggy Fri 30-Sep-16 07:58:23

I'm 35 weeks pregnant with DC2, suffering with SPD. We already have 17 month old Dd. I'm a SAHM, and general everyday things are getting a bit harder as I get fatter, as you would expect! But my DH seems completely oblivious to that hmm
I posted a couple of weeks ago having a whine about how we'd had a bust up because he doesn't do anything around the house or with DD without me asking him to do it. That has been resolved to a certain extent, but if I'm honest, I've just got sick of having to give him the simplest of instructions, so just get on with it by myself.
My reason for wanting to kick him square in the dick this morning, is his complete lack of awareness when it comes to dd's night time antics!! We appear to be in the throes of a sleep regression. Up until a few weeks ago, Dd has been a great sleeper, but all of a sudden she's up at least every 2hrs in the night, and wakes for the day between 5 and 5:30am. DH says he "doesn't hear her". We have a baby monitor by the bed, and even without the monitor, she can easily be heard through the wall hmm Sometimes when I hear her wake up chatting to herself, I lay there for a good 5-10 mins to see if DH is going to do anything, and he never does!! I've even turned the volume all the way up on the monitor and placed it above his head, where the sound of Dd yelling and singing is unbearably loud, and he still doesn't acknowledge it!! I refuse to accept that he "doesn't hear her"...if I opened her bedroom window, half the fucking street would hear her!! angry I do all of the day time child care which is knackering enough at 35 weeks pg, but now I'm also dealing with every single night waking too - which is at least 4/5 times every night.
AIBU to be completely and utterly exasperated by this?! I don't think I am.

Soubriquet Fri 30-Sep-16 07:59:27

Instead of waiting, wake him up and tell him she's up and he needs to go and deal with her

SovietKitsch Fri 30-Sep-16 08:00:32

If all she's doing is chatting and singing, turn off the baby monitor and go back to sleep...

SmallBee Fri 30-Sep-16 08:04:40

YABU - if you kick him in the dick it'll make your spd worse. Whack him between the legs with a broom instead.

Or better yet the baby monitor while she is crying. I bet he'll hear her then.

M0nstersinthecl0set Fri 30-Sep-16 08:05:02

Tell him the jobs he needs to be responsible for. Stop explaining/ taking over. Get snacks & tele and get yourself on the sofa (or even in bed) this weekend.
And deploy the elbow until he fetches your daughter/ settles her etc (though she sounds big enough to dotch the monitor now).

MyBreadIsEggy Fri 30-Sep-16 08:06:02

Soubriquet - that works maybe once or twice....but then he just ignores my nudges and pretends to be asleep angry
Soviet I wish!! The walls in my house are paper thin. We definitely don't need the monitor - I think I just put it on out of habit now - but I usually hear her yelling through the wall before the monitor registers the sound!! This morning when she woke for the day at 5am, I threw the monitor with force at DH and fucked off downstairs for an hours sleep on the sofa....when I say sleep, I mean laying with my eyes closed while I listen to Dd yelling/singing/chatting through the floor hmm

Soubriquet Fri 30-Sep-16 08:07:24

When he ignores your nudges THEN you can get the baby monitor and smash it down on his dick

Bet he won't ignore you then wink

thecatsarecrazy Fri 30-Sep-16 08:08:04

Uanbu. My dh is off sick with a bad back. This is driving me crazy because he's in danger of losing his job. He doesn't offer any help and if I ask I know he will sigh and complain his back hurts more. I'm 22 weeks yesterday I changed beds, cleaned bathroom, downstairs loo, kitchen floor, hoovered, ironed did about 4 wash loads. He sat on his arse.

Nakupenda Fri 30-Sep-16 08:08:33

Why not just get earplugs and ignore DD til it's time to get up? I do it confused

But then again, if she were to actually start crying and need something, DH would get up. So maybe not so much of a helpful suggestion..

MyBreadIsEggy Fri 30-Sep-16 08:09:29

SmallBee grin that is very true!!
He left for work about 20 mins ago, and just before he left, Dd was having a tantrum because she wanted my breakfast, even though she had just eaten her own hmm and he comes out with "she walks all over you" hmm Well sorry SuperDad!!! When he has to deal with an over tired toddler when he's had no sleep himself, then he can have an opinion on how I deal with minor tantrums angry

MyBreadIsEggy Fri 30-Sep-16 08:11:19

thecat my DH doesn't even have the excuse of a bad back angry Just being a dickhead who clearly needs more sleep than his --live in nanny- wife who is busy cultivating another human hmm

booox Fri 30-Sep-16 08:11:58

We have this with roles reversed.

We've spent a lot of time looking into some good earplugs for DH.

MyBreadIsEggy Fri 30-Sep-16 08:12:04

Score-out fail blush
live in nanny

neonrainbow Fri 30-Sep-16 08:12:49

What is it with all these stupid violent thread titles recently?

RiverTam Fri 30-Sep-16 08:14:27

Why are you having another baby with this waste of space?

MyBreadIsEggy Fri 30-Sep-16 08:15:41

Thanks for your helpful input neon hmm
biscuit

Soubriquet Fri 30-Sep-16 08:17:07

I was going to say, how long will it be before this title is edited

Seems to be happening a lot lately

MyBreadIsEggy Fri 30-Sep-16 08:18:39

RiverTam
I'm definitely not excusing his behaviour, I think the thread outlines how furious I am. But after his paternity leave when Dd was born, he went to Afghanistan, and didn't come home (other than 2 weeks R&R) until she was 6 months old....so I don't know if he just hasn't learned how to parent the way I have, so he doesn't see why I'm so infuriated? I don't know. If I'm 100% honest, DC2 was a bit of a surprise. A welcome surprise, but still a surprise!

TotallyOuting Fri 30-Sep-16 08:18:56

Don't nudge him until you get sick of him ignoring you and leave, or throw the monitor at him and then leave. The result is he stays in bed and does fuck all once you give up/go away. I would personally actually shout at him to go and see to his daughter in this situation and not move an inch until he got up and went. Don't be a martyr, it's clearly getting you nowhere.

TotallyOuting Fri 30-Sep-16 08:19:45

I don't know if he just hasn't learned how to parent the way I have, so he doesn't see why I'm so infuriated?

But he is capable of seeing that you are infuriated, no? He's not confused, he's fucking lazy.

TotallyOuting Fri 30-Sep-16 08:20:35

Unless he's one of those twats that thinks woman infuriated = normal, ignore.

MyBreadIsEggy Fri 30-Sep-16 08:20:45

Soubriquet my bad.
I forgot about the professionally offended brigade who have been out in droves this week, directing their offence at genital-related-violence thread titles confused

neonrainbow Fri 30-Sep-16 08:22:32

Would it be ok if he posted saying he wanted to kick you in the cunt because you keep trying to wake him up to see to a child who doesnt need attention?

Superstar90 Fri 30-Sep-16 08:22:59

My OH is just like this too and it causes so many argurmrnts between us. If he genuinely doesn't hear her at night then he could stay up to 1am and you go to bed at 8/9pm to get a chunk of sleep and/or take her in the morning to give you a lie in.
You have my sympathises anyway - you must be knackered!!

biscuitbot Fri 30-Sep-16 08:23:14

I'm, you are clearly really exasperated.

I do agree I feel the thread title is overly aggressive actually.

My DH has been a nightmare at times, but I even feel that wording is a bit nasty. He's really struggled with the realities of young children's sleep (some act things out in their sleep when they're learning) I certainly wouldn't like to think he'd said he wanted to kick me square in the crotch.

You need to politely ask him to sort her out and / or get yourself some bloody good ear plugs.

And drown that biscuit in a big cup of chamomile tea.

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