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To think this banter has gone to far?

(11 Posts)
TattyBaloo777 Thu 29-Sep-16 19:07:35

I have a son in year 8 who hangs round with a large group of boys. They enjoy winding eachother up and having a laugh and generally it's all done in good spirit.

However one particular child has started targeting my lad and is making particularly hurtful remarks about how his private parts are deformed (I'm trying to put it delicately!). At first my son laughed it of but I now believe a line has been crossed as the child in question is starting to spread rumours around the school that my son is deformed and has threatened to do the same at the local youth club they have all joined, unless my son "does as he says." Obviously this is upsetting my son especially as he considered this boy to be a good friend.

I understand that boys do banter about all sorts of things and also how children of 12/13 can be very sensitive but I do think a line has been crossed. I am considering raising this with the boy's parents (who are good friends of mine) but at the same time I want to give my son the chance to sort it out himself - I only found out the full extent of the problem this evening so am still thinking it through! (The threat of "doing as he says or else" bothers me too!)

AIBU to think this has gone too far?

AmeliaJack Thu 29-Sep-16 19:09:30

Oh yeah, far too far. The blackmail is concerning. If I knew the parents well I'd be raising it with them.

Face to face by the way, not by text.

Giratina Thu 29-Sep-16 19:09:47

Don't go to his parents, get the school to sort it out. Bullying little shit.

JellyBelli Thu 29-Sep-16 19:10:42

YANBU. I'd step in at that point. Its a type of grooming, it may be non sexual but he want control.

acasualobserver Thu 29-Sep-16 19:10:44

Yes, do raise it with the boy's parents. This isn't good-natured banter.

Amandahugandkisses Thu 29-Sep-16 19:13:34

That is a really nasty thing to pick on. Tell the school.

QuiteLikely5 Thu 29-Sep-16 19:17:56

Can you tell your son to ask him why he is so interested in his manhood and if he wants to 'come out' now would be a good time to do it? That should shut him up!!!!

Nocabbageinmyeye Thu 29-Sep-16 19:20:57

I'd do what QuiteLikely says and tell your son to turn it around on him

Boiing Thu 29-Sep-16 20:07:47

Spend the evening coming up with jokey come backs for your son to roll out whenever it's mentioned. Eg 'Yep, X is obsessed with my cock, I think he's a bit jealous'... 'I'm not sure X knows what they're supposed to look like' 'get a life mate' etc. And to the 'do as I say stuff I'd suggest your son respond dismissively 'Yeah right, nice try. Don't be a dick.' At the same time your son needs to be crystal clear that this boy is not his friend. If it continues then raise with parents if you know them / school if you don't, but that depends on whether they are likely to be any help really.

kissmethere Thu 29-Sep-16 23:36:24

Sorry that is really too far. I would raise it with the parents if you know them. Side stepping with the school can drag it out. Sometimes schools don't have the time to end this swiftly. Why is this other child making these awful statements? I hope they will be mortified. Hope your ds can get through this and move on.

kissmethere Thu 29-Sep-16 23:37:43

QuiteLikely5, good point.

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