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For thinking my son isn't lagging when it comes to potty training?

(63 Posts)
Writerwannabe83 Thu 29-Sep-16 12:19:34

Yesterday my friend passed comment that she was surprised my 2.5 year old DS isn't potty trained yet. Her son was fully trained (wees and poo) by the time of his second birthday but I thought that was actually quite early and something to be proud of as opposed to something we should all be achieving?

My other friend has a daughter and she was fully trained by 2yrs 6m though so maybe my son is lagging? I don't know?

We're at the stage where if we are home all day and leave his nappy off he will use the potty for every wee that he has. We have to put a nappy on him at peak 'Poo Time' as I doubt he'd use the potty for that.

We have tried pull-ups and pants on him but if he is wearing either of them he will treat it as a nappy and both wee/poo in them. We haven't braved going out without a nappy on for this reason.

Admittedly, I'm not too sure what my next step is but I don't think what stage my son is at is completely outside the realms of normal?

When she passed comment to me I honestly didn't know what to say. He's my first DC so my knowledge around this milestone is pretty limited.

She just made me feel a bit crappy.

SarcasmMode Thu 29-Sep-16 12:24:50


DD1 is 3.5 and still fights using the potty/toilet.

2.5-3 is average, I believe.

upthewolves Thu 29-Sep-16 12:25:09

Sounds completely normal to me OP! Wees and poos by second birthday is definitely early. Also, I heard that boys take longer to 'get it' than girls - not sure if that's the case but have heard lots of people say it. What you're doing sounds fine. You can't rush it, they have to be ready. Don't worry!

thecatsclinkers Thu 29-Sep-16 12:26:53

Well if yours is lagging, mine is positively hopeless! DD Is 3 and absolutely refuses the potty. Even when I'm changing a nappy she says "mama new nappy, new nappy" she won't even go nappy free.

I'm relaxed about it but then it's fairly easy as I have no relatives or friends with children so nothing to compare too and no pressure!

Artandco Thu 29-Sep-16 12:29:29

Mine were quite early ( both by 18 months), but I don't think 2.5 years is too late. Some nurseries ask they are trained before starting so that's around 3 ish

Champers4Pampers Thu 29-Sep-16 12:30:32

I wouldn't worry about it.
I'm potty training DD at the moment, she's almost 2.5. She seems to have wee's sorted but still having the odd accident with poos.
Her older brother was a nightmare to potty train. I made the mistake of trying to early, gave up & waited for a while. Think it took 3 attempts in the end and he wasn't totally dry until he was about 3.
They are all different, he'll learn in his own time. Try not to stress about it.

MoMandaS Thu 29-Sep-16 12:30:45

We didn't start training DS1 until he was 3.2. It took a couple of days. He still had the odd full accident for a few weeks, and would not poo in the potty or toilet at all (used nighttime pull up), then had a few months where he would be so absorbed in what he was doing he'd allow himself to leak a bit of wee into pants before going and doing it in potty or toilet - very annoying. Now, at nearly 4, he rarely leaks, never has a full accident and does about half his poos in the toilet. I think 2.5 is really early, especially for boys. Apart from the leaks, which have been the most frustrating part of the process, the training itself took hardly any effort because he was old enough to grasp what was required and to want to do it for his own sake. So I wouldn't rush it and I wouldn't worry about it.

ijustwannadance Thu 29-Sep-16 12:32:57

Best advice I had from nursery owner was that if you try before they are ready it will take months of hard work. If you wait until they're ready it will take a week.

TheSparrowhawk Thu 29-Sep-16 12:35:17

You can be pretty sure that he won't still be in nappies when he's 15. So it doesn't matter one bit whether he's in nappies now or not. Do not stress about things like this - it's not worth it.

AppleAndBlackberry Thu 29-Sep-16 12:36:09

I have two girls and waited until nearly 3 to potty train both of them as they didn't seem ready or interested before then.

RitchyBestingFace Thu 29-Sep-16 12:37:13

Your son's development is completely age appropriate. DS1 showed no interest until at 3 I put pants on him and told him to use the toilet. It took 3 days for him to go completely dry in the daytime. OTOH DS2 desperate to have pants and use potty from 2 and it's taken about a month and he still has accidents.

Your 'friend' on the other hand has the social skills of a four year old.

kilmuir Thu 29-Sep-16 12:38:43

My DD was fully dry at 2 years and a few months, BUT was easy as she was ready. My DS was nearly 3 until he showed much interest.
It's not a race. People stress trying to do it too early

MLGs Thu 29-Sep-16 12:40:24

My son is just over 2.5 and still in nappies.

He's just now starting to take some interest in sitting on the toilet in the evenings before his bath, but for a long time was completely disinterested.

My DD was trained long before this, but that might have been me being PFB and too anxious about her development rather than her being a girl.

Loungingbutnotforlong Thu 29-Sep-16 12:44:26

We left it til my DS was 3 years 2 months- it took two 'bad days'- he had cracked it by lunchtime of the third day. Also- night trained within another week (we weren't actively trying to do that, he just got the habit quickly at that stage). I was harangued by people to potty train him from when he was 2- don't know why I listened to them! hmm

DixieWishbone Thu 29-Sep-16 12:45:04

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

jingscrivvens Thu 29-Sep-16 13:04:36

DS is almost nearly 3.5 and only in the past 2 weeks has he sat on the potty. Tried a couple of times before to potty train and he wasn't in the slightest bit interested. Will be trying the next free weekend we've got to crack it.
I have fretted and fretted over this but nursery have told me not to worry about it, he will get it and it'll be fine. HV seemed a bit hmm when we said that he wasn't fully potty trained when he got his jags a few weeks ago though decided a long time ago to ignore her so not that fussed what she says

Hotfootit Thu 29-Sep-16 13:04:58

Your son's progress sounds fine to me. DD1 was 'dry' during the day by 2.6 and 'dry' nights followed within a few weeks. By contrast, DD2 was 'dry' during the day by 22 months (!) but she wasn't dry at night until she was nearly 5! And she refused to use a nappy or pull-ups because she was 'a big girl' so we had to lift her every night, even when on a camping holiday. Then one one week, she just stopped weeing when we lifted her and has been 'dry' ever since.
And I use 'dry' because they each had the occasional accident (too excited to remember to go/toilet too far away) once we finally gave up nappies (in fact, DD2, who is nearly nine, had a bad dream and wet her bed last week - first time in 18 months).

itsnotfair10 Thu 29-Sep-16 13:05:51

Seems normal to me!

My ds started at 2.8 and now at 2.10 seems to pretty much have it nailed apart from the odd accident where he gets so engrossed in something he forgets.

Sounds like you are doing the right thing. I found the best way was to just go for it, say bye to nappies and go into pants and just take him to the toilet regularly to 'try' for a wee.
We had a few bumps in the road when it came to nursery as he was scared of using their toilets but all seems fine now.

It takes time but with perseverance (and a lot of washing powder) you will get there smile

Good luck

MoreGilmoreGirls Thu 29-Sep-16 13:09:03

Not lagging, best to wait till they're ready. My 2.5 yr old is showing signs do we've got a potty and pirate Pete potty book but I've just had a second DS and its advised not to introduce too much change at once (and I don't have time to dedicate to it right now!) so we're taking the softly softly approach.

louisejxxx Thu 29-Sep-16 13:09:32

I would say 2.5-3 years is's just you tend to hear more about from the people who managed it earlier than those who's managed it later.

Both of mine were "late" - ds was 3y2m for wees but poos took much longer. Dd was about 3y4m for wees and poos are still not established at 3y8m! That said, she went straight onto the toilet whereas ds started with potty then had to be toilet-trained later on.

MoreGilmoreGirls Thu 29-Sep-16 13:09:40

Meant to add I don't understand these parents that treat it as a race hmm

Blueberry234 Thu 29-Sep-16 13:12:31

If it makes you feel any better I have been recently told via child continence clinic that age 3-3.5 for potty training is the optimum age for preventing regression later down the line. How true that is I don't know but I will be potty training my second nearer 3

RhodaBorrocks Thu 29-Sep-16 13:13:19

Totally normal. My DS was 2y10m. He saw an older child in the family using the toilet and decided he would do the same. He never went in a nappy again (he wore a pull up for another week or rwo but refused to use them) day or night and only had a handful of accidents. He also opted to bypass the potty and use the toilet straight away, but it was entirely his choice. When DS chooses to do something he'll commit fully lol, but you can't get him to do anything that's not his choice lol.

I was extremely grateful to have got off so easily.

Osirus Thu 29-Sep-16 13:15:09

Competitive parenting is awful. Every child is different.

My niece has just started training for the second time at nearly 3. She wasn't ready the first time but this second attempt has been really easy. He'll get there.

My mum found her sons harder to train than her daughters. My brother was nearly going to school before he would use a potty!

SignOnTheWindow Thu 29-Sep-16 13:17:44

DD 1 was 3y3m (death of DP and birth of DD2 might have had an impact though). DD2 was a bit younger, but definitely nearer to 3 than 2.

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