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... about birthday cake

(129 Posts)
daftbesom Wed 28-Sep-16 22:22:54

So here's the situation.

DH had a birthday a few days ago, his DM baked a lovely cake and brought it over. We all had a bit and it is yum. We left the remainder sitting on the table under its posh cover.

Today DH had a bit of a go at our two teen DSs for eating some of the cake without asking, when they came home from school. He says he wouldn't begrudge them it, he just wants them to ask as it is his cake, a gift from his mother etc.

I can't agree with him - it's on the table and it's food, they always have a snack when they get in from school, it wouldn't enter my head to expect them to ask before they ate some cake (which would mean they'd have to wait until we were both back from work - by which time it'd be dinnertime anyway). They haven't finished it, there is still some for him.

I think if you don't want people to eat something you're earmarking as "yours", don't leave it sitting on the table ...?


rogertherabbit Wed 28-Sep-16 22:29:53

I agree with you and think he's being silly. I would perhaps understand a little more if they'd finished the cake, but they've left him some

Chikara Wed 28-Sep-16 23:11:22

Actually I'm with him on this. I'd be pissed off.

Thoughtless to eat the best thing in the house - lazy - don't think about what others might like.

Sounds like my teens!! grin

DerekSprechenZeDick Wed 28-Sep-16 23:16:53

I'm with him. I got a cake and buns from my birthday and the children have scoffed them!

They should have asked me so I could have said no and made them watch me enjoy it all

BackforGood Wed 28-Sep-16 23:26:33

YANBU, he is.

Different if they'd delved into a box of birthday chocs, but a cake, made and brought round by Grandma is something she clearly made to be shared by all the family in honour of his birthday, not solely for him to eat.
Cake in our house is for anyone to eat. If there's one there that can't be eaten (made to take to work or a cake sale or something) then you put a note on it to that effect.

Rrross1ges Wed 28-Sep-16 23:34:47

Surely everyone knows that if you don't want to share you hide it at the back of the salad drawer. Your husband is so unreasonable.

Lilacpink40 Wed 28-Sep-16 23:38:11

I'm with Rross leaving food in reach is a sure fire way to get it eaten. So YANBU.

Chikara Wed 28-Sep-16 23:39:51

It's not that they ate it , it is that they didn't ask him. I do get that horrible feeling that, especially when your kids are teens, nothing is ever your own any more. Obvs I am projecting as everything I have is now "communal" and I hate it. grin

Kpo58 Wed 28-Sep-16 23:42:30


Why should he gave to hide his cake?

CodyKing Wed 28-Sep-16 23:43:37

Does granny bake the teens cakes? Do they share?

Teens need the calories and assume if he normally shares then it would be fine

Amethyst81 Thu 29-Sep-16 01:50:59

He sounds a bit childish 'its mine'. If he hadn't had any then maybe he would have a point but as there is some left he is BU. Cake needs eating fairly quickly anyway and his mum would probably be pleased that the kids enjoyed the cake. Tell him to grow up!

KickAssAngel Thu 29-Sep-16 01:53:16

You have teens who had unsupervised access to a cake and they didn't eat the lot?

Something's very wrong.

daftbesom Thu 29-Sep-16 07:53:15

Thanks for the replies.

In response to previous poster, yes she bakes the teens birthday cakes too, and yes we share those. I would actually be a bit hmm if one of the teens were then to insist (after the initial ceremonial nosh-up) that it was "his" cake and we all had to ask for a slice, waiting for him to come home if he wasn't there.

BewtySkoolDropowt Thu 29-Sep-16 07:58:16

Does your husband ask your teens before eating their cake?

Yanbu. It's cake. It was left out. Was he planning to eat it all himself?

mrszc Thu 29-Sep-16 07:59:50

Idiotic man child should have put a post it note on it if he wanted his children to look but not eat hmm

DamsonInDistress Thu 29-Sep-16 08:04:28

I think they should have asked. Doesn't have to be a full on grovelling beg but a simple "Dad can we grab a slice of cake please?" would have been the normal thing to do surely?

timeforheroes Thu 29-Sep-16 08:11:34

I think if they'd eaten all of it (which they didn't, I don't think) then I might sort of see where he is coming from, get home looking forward to his cake and it's all gone - mild annoyance. But to just have a bit...come on you're a grown man! I'm with you OP.
As others have said, if it was an edible birthday present that they delved in to, it would be a bit rude. But cake? No, I think he's being a bit precious. Hope your teens make your DH seek permission to eat their cakes!

user1471507699 Thu 29-Sep-16 08:11:56

Was he planning on eating all the cake? Generally birthday cakes are big enough to share. Sounds like there was enough and your teens had a slice, not half the cake!

CesareBorgiasUnicornMask Thu 29-Sep-16 08:15:24

I am very territorial about cake, but even I expect that any left out is fair game for others to eat. Which is why the key is to eat all the leftover cake yourself quickly so there isn't any left to be snaffled.

user1471507699 Thu 29-Sep-16 08:19:41

Also I think it's fair enough to ask if the person is in the house but sounds like he was at work.

Cel982 Thu 29-Sep-16 08:21:16

He's being ridiculous. Birthday cake doesn't 'belong' to the person whose birthday it was hmm It's household food.

MoreGilmoreGirls Thu 29-Sep-16 08:23:06

If they had eaten it all then I would be on his side but they left some for him so HIBU. So long as they share their cake then it's all fair. I now want cake sad

MUjunkie Thu 29-Sep-16 08:30:56

Food has to be hidden from teens if you don't want it eaten! Rookie mistake!

Now my DPs kids started on his cake before it had even been cut into! That REALLY pissed me off, but he said it's just cake! Why the hell would you go and cut into someone else's cake?

ChipmunkSundays Thu 29-Sep-16 09:39:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FeelingSmurfy Thu 29-Sep-16 09:55:32

In our house the birthday person cuts it, but it's fair game after that, but an unspoken rule about only taking your fair share/not eating 5 pieces in a day sort of thing. That's true for any food though, don't eat two of something if you know there is one each, and even if your "share" is 3 that does not mean you can eat 3 in one day

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