Cash-strapped boss bought child a designer handbag but can't afford me!

[Ubertasha2]

Hiya,

Love mumsnet and wanted a quick vent, pls bear with!

So I am a nanny for a family who claim to be broke but (imho) have vast amounts of cash to spend on the dc's whims and desires.

No problem you might say, none of my business you might say (and I agree up to a point), but when I have been told there is not enough money to pay me properly and then the mum buys the kids a ridiculous amount of expensive gifts, it is difficult to say nothing. I work- have always worked hard- am never paid overtime or extra when I come in early, I end up buying stuff for kids when kitty runs out and when I used my car (I pretend I haven't brought it these days to avoid using it for work) I never got petrol money and reimbursed for wear and tear etc etc.

The latest is that I have been given my notice (a month) because the family is "broke", but on Friday I discovered that the eldest child (nearly 12yo) has been bought a designer bag which cost a whole month of my wages.

I am really upset because I was underpaid for so long (and it was insinuated that I was greedy when I politely asked for a raise in line with local nanny rates a while back), I have never been allowed a contract, the family refused to do nanny tax (which I found quite stressful to sort myself), and whenever a day of my work is taken from me by them (over bank hols, when parents decide to take the day off on a whim or work from home, and often at short notice), MY WAGES ARE DOCKED!!!!

Next week the mum thinks she "may have a couple of days off and may take the kids to a musical" but she doesn't know yet. Of course. But of course, I will have two days docked from my wages. But this is ok, right? My bills won't need paying, will they?

The designer bag chapter (as friends have called it) is the latest in a long line of "we are broke and cannot pay you more money" but, then "look what mummy bought me, Tash!" Yes, the bag was paid for by the mother but it feels that all the money I've been denied from my hard work (not money I fancy or feel entitled to) has, in a way, been squirrelled away to pay for this ridiculous item. Friends are urging me to joking say something like "no wonder you can't afford me; you have designer bags to pay for!", or "perhaps we could discuss the shortfall of my wages now, please?" as I have (sadly) made notes of how much I have been underpaid.

Sorry for this rant- I know many people in this world are suffering- proper suffering, but I hate any injustice of any sort and really want to say something but don't know how or if it'd be appropriate in any way?

I also can't imagine anyone treating a hardworking member of staff like this- underpay them, lie about being broke and then paying thousands for a bag for a (very badly behaved) child. I just don't get it!

[wasonthelist]

So with a bit of luck you can now work for someone more reasonable.

[MitzyLeFrouf]

They're taking the absolute piss but they won't change. They're treating you like an indentured servant. Best thing you can do is cut your losses and leave this awful family to their own devices.

[MitzyLeFrouf]

Ooops sorry I missed that they'd given you notice OP. Honestly, it's for the best!

[SandyY2K]

They aren't good employers, so be glad you won't be working for them anymore.

Go through a nanny agency next time and insist on a contract and proper holiday pay.
I never paid my nanny extra when she came in a bit earlier, but I would tell her to leave early on days and didn't dock her pay.

[BreakfastAtSquiffanys]

Sounds like a crap job.
If they've given you notice, I just wouldnt turn up anymore

[HereIAm20]

You are best off out of there! Why did you stay if they weren't paying you properly. Report them for non payment of tax/ni etc.

Maybe its a fake bag or bought on credit cards gor appearance sake.

Maybe they don't want to employ you anymore and saying they can't afford you is the easy way for them to ask you to leave.

It must be frustrating but onwards and upwards. Hopefully you'll find s lovely family to work for now.

[stopfuckingshoutingatme]

they are cunts and you are WELL RID- onwards and upwards OP. get a new job and good luck

[Pagwatch]

There is no point in snarking at them. They won't give a shit.

Horrible people. I can't understand how people treat others so poorly.
I hope your next employers are better.

[ssd]

they sound like utter pricks, you are well out of it leaving them

good luck with getting a decent family

[2kids2dogsnosense]

Absolutely disgusting! They should be ashamed of themselves (but of course, they aren't, because they are the sort of entitled barstewards who never see any further than their own wants and mourn the day that servants were grateful for a "situation" that gave them food and board.

I wonder if they've got someone even cheaper lined up? An immigrant who doesn't know any better perhaps? It just strikes me that if she needed a nanny so they could work before, then they are going to continue to need someone after you are gone. I can't see Mrs Upherownarse-Enititledcow getting her hands dirty on a daily basis with her kids.

How long have you worked for them? Did you keep a record of how much they diddled you (and not paying you because THEY have chosen not to have you around on a whim counts as diddling in my book)? Go to Citizens' Advice and see if you have any comeback. They have behaved disgracefully.

[2kids2dogsnosense]

Also - I agree with Squiffany's. Get a doctor's note and go sick for the remainder of your notice.

[Sprinklestar]

Just leave now. No point in staying to find they won't pay you at the end of the month. They've shown their true colours.

[seven201]

You really should have left ages ago. You've let them take advantage of you for far too long!

[PurplePidjin]

Nannies aren't allowed to be self employed iirc. I'm sure hmrc would be able to advise

[HoldMeCloserTonyDanza]

I mean this kindly - you need to value yourself more. Why do you think you're worth less than other workers? You shouldn't have put up with this so long. You are allowed to quit you know! You are allowed to go elsewhere and earn what you actually deserve.

[Ldnmum2015]

They sound horrible, and undervalue what an important job you are doing, I would look around for an agency ASAP, in the meantime please don't spend you last few weeks being at their beck and call, try and grab some time off to go for interviews. I work self employed as a cleaner, though a different trade, I deal with similar customers, some treat you like a family member, tip you at Xmas, allow more than enough time, reimburse you if you bring you own products and say thanks, while other customers really take the piss and want to squeeze as much work out of you in a shorter time frame and make it feel it is your fault when things inevitably go pear shaped. With customers, you have to kiss alot of frogs, believe me there are decent families out there who will appreciate your hard work and experience with their kids, this family isn't one of them. Somewhere out there a decent family is tearing their hair out to find someone like you.

[Hamsolo]

Find a nice family. We pay our nanny overtime, at her usual rate per extra half hour. If we don't need her she gets the day off, we don't dock her wages, and we have tax and NI arranged via a nanny tax agency. I thought all this was standard! I think count yourself lucky that you have this chance to escape them, and better luck next time!

[Ubertasha2]

I am overwhelmed at the replies- never thought anyone would read this! So much sensible advice- thank you!

I think that the family will get an au pair so they can have live-in childcare, unlimited housework and free language lessons. The last au pair left because she couldn't cope with one of the dc's swearing and challenging behaviour- will be interesting if they get another one instead of a nanny.

Apologies if I sound bitter- friends and family are always telling me to leave and that I have indeed been a bit of an idiot to put up with it then come ho e and moan about it!

[RaptorInaPorkPieHat]

I wonder if you'll find them employing an au pair (or some other cheaper child care option) down the line.

I hope they at least have the decency to give you a good reference

[Ubertasha2]

• home

[Ldnmum2015]

Agree with other posters, get a sick note and go off sick

[RaptorInaPorkPieHat]

cross posted with you Uber

[SantasLittleMonkeyButler]

Heavens yes - leave now! From what you've said I wouldn't be at all surprised to find your final pay either missing or seriously short!

[stopfuckingshoutingatme]

AU PAIR, sorry ! so they want an unpaid slave.
yes boost yourself esteem you deserve better

I despise people that are cheap with childcare