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Every Bloody Orifice

(9 Posts)
FedUpOfBeingSick Wed 28-Sep-16 11:57:45

Name changed...

AIBU to think my body has it in for me?

I have been suffering with a virus this week. Streaming cold, hacking cough, fever etc.

I have snot coming from my nose, earache and waxy ears, phlegm hacked up from my mouth when I cough in great heaving motions which mean I manage to both wet myself a bit and fart loudly at least daily. Sweat is extruding from every pore due to the fever.

To top it all off I'm on my bloody period and haven't slept properly for 4 nights now.

There isn't a single orifice that isn't producing something vile ATM sad.

I'm feeling stupidly sorry for myself so any chance of asking MN to cheer me up - even at my own expense as all dignity is already lost at this point...

<<Snuggles back down in bed with phone>>

BigChocFrenzy Wed 28-Sep-16 18:32:11

So sorry to hear your woes; erupting from all those orifices sounds horrendous
Anyone at home later to provide TLC ?

Keep drinking plenty of water and snuggle up warm in bed with a teddy bear
flowers I hope that godawful bug goes very soon flowers

TaraCarter Wed 28-Sep-16 18:37:59

Still, you've achieved MN infamy, with your confession that 'my body's got it ^in for me^"

TaraCarter Wed 28-Sep-16 18:38:39

Oh, bloody italics didn't work. I blame my cold.

flumplet Wed 28-Sep-16 18:43:28

Poor OP!! Have you tea and sympathy at home? brewcakeflowerschocolate

redisthenewblack Wed 28-Sep-16 19:00:20

Oh OP that sounds awful.

If it makes you feel any better, I had a dodgy 24hr tummy bug last week. Every time I had an <ahem> episode I had a 3 second window in which to decide what end I needed to put closest to the loo at that time. Unfortunately, it got really REALLY bad at one point and in a heavy projectile vomiting attack I ended up shitting myself...twice. blush
DS(3) found it awfully entertaining that an adult, who doesn't wear a nappy, had managed to have an 'accident'. grin

rhiaaaaaaaannon Wed 28-Sep-16 19:20:18

Oh I feel for you sad really does feel never ending doesn't it. I had a horrendous chest infection at the end of my pregnancy, was doing huge chesty coughs every 30 seconds, which meant I was piss in myself every 30 seconds too. Along with the never ending snot and my mucous plug coming away, then all the nervous poos it was leaky orifice hell.
Hope you manage a decent kip tonight.

FedUpOfBeingSick Wed 28-Sep-16 20:20:56

Thank you all.

DH has been lovely and doing all the work and feeding me honey and lemon.

So I'm being looked after.

I'm just fed up of being an oozing pile of gunk from every orifice.

My skin has now broken out in spots (usually not an issue - I have dry skin) I'm sure due to all the fever sweat.

Maybe I can join the sporners!

I feel like a smaller version of Jabba the Hut!

I've heard a virus is going around - if this is it then flowersto any fellow sufferers.

FedUpOfBeingSick Wed 28-Sep-16 20:22:25

Tara - I just got that...sorry am sluggish smile

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