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To rant about my exH

(4 Posts)
BitchQueen90 Wed 28-Sep-16 08:37:15

DS is 3, exH lives about a half hour drive from us.

I get along fairly well with my ex but it frustrates me how little time he spends with DS. I try to make life as easy as I can for all of us, exH works 8 days in a row and then has 4 days off. So I usually let him pick which days he has DS. He will have only have him overnight for one of these days, usually spending less than 24 hours with him because he will pick him up from nursery at 3 and then drop him there the next day. I don't really have a lot in the way of a social life, I'm not particularly bothered by this as I am working and studying for a degree so I'm very busy. I have said to ex that most separated parents have an agreement for set days when they will each have the children, his reply was that is not possible because of the shifts he works, which is true (nature of his job means shifts are 24/7, 7 days a week) but I would have thought he would like to have DS more than one day out of 4. He lives nearby, has a car (I don't) so travel is not an issue. This month he has seen DS ONCE, he has been on holiday for 2 weeks, had him once last week and then when I asked him when he would next like DS his reply was "I'm not sure", he has a weekend off work this week but apparently has decided to go away again. But if I question it then I am made out to be the bad one, apparently he does more than most dads do because he pays me regular child support without having to go through CMA and does see DS.

I'm sorry for the rant, it's just irritating that everyone sees him as this wonderful father when I'm the one who bends over backwards so as not to cause arguments.

Ugh... I'm tired today, just got into work and I can tell it's going to be one of those days. sad

Colchestergal Wed 28-Sep-16 08:41:32

He is a selfish cunt. Sadly, so is my ex sad

ThatStewie Wed 28-Sep-16 08:42:32

He's not a great Dad. If he were, he'd be begging to have your son more often. He'd definitely have wanted to take his son on a holiday even if it meant missing nursery for 2 weeks. Unfortunately, you can't make him step up & be a real dad. I'd stop bending over backwards for him. Let him do the chasing and say no when it's not convenient for you. I'd also be having a nosey at what the CMS says he should be paying for maintenance. If he's paying less than the bare minimum, then he's a dick.

BitchQueen90 Wed 28-Sep-16 08:50:10

I feel bad for my DS. When I picked him up the other day he was saying he wanted to go to daddy's and I don't even know when he will be going next so I can't even tell him when he will see him. sad

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