Am I normal or is it a shopping addiction?

[Littlebee76]

Just wondering if I'm normal or if I need help..

I can not stop buying. Every single day without fail I'm constantly online shopping. I feel like everyday I think of something new I 'need'then spend hours searching for this new thing that I need, purchase it then the next day I think of the next new thing I need.
Everyday I have a parcel arrive (at least one) and it's actually all consuming!

I love buying myself/the house things but does anyone else do this? I'd actually like to go a few weeks without 'needing' things yet it never seems to give me a day off.

Is this normal?

[deathtoheadlice]

I'm afraid that doesn't seem normal to me! Sounds quite compulsive. Is it harming you financially? You might want to think about how to change this pattern before it gets damaging.

[Skittlesss]

I find I do this when I'm starting to feel down. It's like a warning sign for me - that and reading a lot.

[ChuckBiscuits]

I don't think so no. But then again I am apparently odd because I have no handbags/fancy shoes/wear makeup and spend my time outdoors in nature.

You don't actually 'need' anything, so you can give yourself some time off, or a budget to stick to every month which will focus your energy on making sensible choices.

[calzone]

I would delete all the shopping apps so there is less temptation.

[MoreGilmoreGirls]

Sounds excessive to me OP. Can you afford it, are you in debt? If so it sounds like a real problem. Do you think your life is lacking something and you are trying to fill that hole with stuff? Perhaps counselling could help.

[Littlebee76]

Feeling down is very true as I've just come out of yet another failed ivf attempt.. But thinking about this I've been like it for a few years now. I think even the postman thinks I've got a problem :(

[Oblomov16]

1)Can you afford it?
2)what is the real problem here? You should probably address that.

[phillipp]

Spending hours a day hunting something down surely eats into other things.

It sounds like an issue. I do get it. Shopping is my go to when I feel down. But if it's everyday, it's quickly becoming a problem.

[Littlebee76]

I can't really afford it although I'm not in debt.
I'm not sure what the real problem is, I know I'm very insecure but would that make me spend?

[Tiredqueen87]

I do this, I can guarantee that there will be a parcel this morning. It's at the point where I'm surprised if something hasn't arrived

[Littlebee76]

I'm the same tiredqueen, it's a surprise if nothing's been delivered on a day.
I do need to get a handle on it as I'd save so much money plus when I get these things I need most of the time I can't even remember what it was I purchased even later that day!

[HeteronormativeHaybales]

The key in your post, IMO, is 'it never seems to give me a day off'. You speak of this habit/behaviour as if it were a tyrannical boss. That indicates you are not in control, or you don't feel in control.

IIWY I would go to your GP and look into getting CBT, which can work really well for specific problems like this - recognising the issues and the patterns behind them and working on breaking those patterns - or another kind of counselling or therapy. It certainly sounds as if you use the shopping to distract from other, difficult things. I am a tiny, tiny bit like this - I only shop if we 'need' something, but I know I do it in preference to other things that need doing. So I can understand the lure.

Sorry to hear about the IVF

[Suzietwo]

I think it depends. I never go to the shops so of I need something it's delivered - usually by Amazon prime. This week I've had a timer for the kitchen delivered (5.99 - surprisingly expensive!) and I've ordered some protein bars (14.99 in bulk). Last week it was some kids clothes, some noodles (I buy a particular brand in bulk) and underwear for me.

I think the way we shop has changed. In the past I would have worked out what I needed and gone on the high street one Saturday and come home with it all. I guess some people still do that but I don't.

The only thing which bothers me is all the packaging

[Beebeeeight]

Doo you hoard?

It is a sign of a psychological problem.

[Tiredqueen87]

I try and stop and say no I'm not and then I can't stop 🙈 Stuff arrives and I think 'o forgot I'd ordered that'

[myownprivateidaho]

I addition to the good advice above, in the short term, I would delete the apps, unsubscribe from all marketing emails (gmail will do it automatically if you delete them), delete credit card info from your devices etc. Also, possibly something like the freedom app (which blocks the internet) could help.

[Tiredqueen87]

I have no apps on my phone, just on google and that's it. I have to admit, I'd bought something by 7am today 😕

[Titsalinabumsquash]

I struggle with this, it's not stuff for me though but for the kids. I have to consciously make the effort to not shop. I also have to sell a lot of clothes where I've purchased far too much and my daughter never wears them.
It came to a point last a little while ago when I had spent and spent via PayPal and then suddenly all the money came out at once and made us go into minus figures. It was a wake up call and the embarrassment of explaining to DP was enough to make me try and sort it.
I've spoken openly to DP about it and I'm making a real effort not to click the 'checkout' button anymore, I've also unlinked my PayPal and one click on amazon so it's harder to pay online if I have to actually get my purse and put in all the card numbers etc.

[Tiredqueen87]

I know my card details 😳

[Tiredqueen87]

I have to be honest though, I've never seen this as a problem.

[80sWaistcoat]

A friend suggested to me to :

put whatever you are looking at on a wish list, by the time you come back to it, the urge should have gone, try and make that the next day or once a week

Sort out your stuff, once I realised I had 5 basically identical green jumpers, the urge wore off

Go for a walk!

Do a budget, so give yourself £50 to spend a week online, it may make you more discerning.

Religiously send back anything that isn't right or you haven't used, the trekking to the post office may take the urge off

Tot up what you've spent online this year and work out how lovely a hilliest you could have had/proportion of mortgage paid off/new car...

[80sWaistcoat]

Hilliest = holiday...

[Ezzie29]

I'm the same! The worst was when I was spending due to the stress of being unemployed...bye bye redundancy money! I've since managed to get it under control by having a friend change all my passwords - obviously if I really wanted to I could have just used the forgotten password link but I would have been so embarrassed if she found out, and that stopped me. My friend took on all my passwords about a year and a half ago and would either tell me the password or go into my account and buy it for me whenever I genuinely needed something. I've gradually gotten them all back (aside from eBay, which I still don't trust myself with!) and I have the odd moment where I buy something I probably didn't really need but on the whole, I'm now very sensible with it all. I'm hoping it lasts. That is what worked for me.