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Am I normal or is it a shopping addiction?

(89 Posts)
Littlebee76 Wed 28-Sep-16 07:24:12

Just wondering if I'm normal or if I need help..

I can not stop buying. Every single day without fail I'm constantly online shopping. I feel like everyday I think of something new I 'need'then spend hours searching for this new thing that I need, purchase it then the next day I think of the next new thing I need.
Everyday I have a parcel arrive (at least one) and it's actually all consuming!

I love buying myself/the house things but does anyone else do this? I'd actually like to go a few weeks without 'needing' things yet it never seems to give me a day off.

Is this normal?

deathtoheadlice Wed 28-Sep-16 07:26:55

I'm afraid that doesn't seem normal to me! Sounds quite compulsive. Is it harming you financially? You might want to think about how to change this pattern before it gets damaging.

Skittlesss Wed 28-Sep-16 07:26:58

I find I do this when I'm starting to feel down. It's like a warning sign for me - that and reading a lot.

ChuckBiscuits Wed 28-Sep-16 07:29:27

I don't think so no. But then again I am apparently odd because I have no handbags/fancy shoes/wear makeup and spend my time outdoors in nature.

You don't actually 'need' anything, so you can give yourself some time off, or a budget to stick to every month which will focus your energy on making sensible choices.

ITCouldBeWorse Wed 28-Sep-16 07:31:41

No, not normal or sustainable. I think it is a displacement activity. Are you actually stressed about something else?

Short term, can you delete cookies on everything, ask someone else to change your PayPal password and get someone to look after your cards.

Then you can window shop online, add things to baskets then stop. Look 24 hours later and see why you wanted it.

Then try to reverse this negative habit into a positive one, by selling on eBay or Facebook the unnecessary items you have purchased. You can replicate the shopping thrill with a selling thrill and perhaps stabilise your finances.

Longer term, can you work out why you have developed this cycle. Would be good to know before smashing shopping triggers you again.

Good luck.

calzone Wed 28-Sep-16 07:32:05

I would delete all the shopping apps so there is less temptation.

MoreGilmoreGirls Wed 28-Sep-16 07:32:18

Sounds excessive to me OP. Can you afford it, are you in debt? If so it sounds like a real problem. Do you think your life is lacking something and you are trying to fill that hole with stuff? Perhaps counselling could help.

Littlebee76 Wed 28-Sep-16 07:32:43

Feeling down is very true as I've just come out of yet another failed ivf attempt.. But thinking about this I've been like it for a few years now. I think even the postman thinks I've got a problem sad

Oblomov16 Wed 28-Sep-16 07:33:57

1)Can you afford it?
2)what is the real problem here? You should probably address that.

phillipp Wed 28-Sep-16 07:35:21

Spending hours a day hunting something down surely eats into other things.

It sounds like an issue. I do get it. Shopping is my go to when I feel down. But if it's everyday, it's quickly becoming a problem.

Littlebee76 Wed 28-Sep-16 07:36:02

I can't really afford it although I'm not in debt.
I'm not sure what the real problem is, I know I'm very insecure but would that make me spend?

Tiredqueen87 Wed 28-Sep-16 07:38:37

I do this, I can guarantee that there will be a parcel this morning. It's at the point where I'm surprised if something hasn't arrived

ITCouldBeWorse Wed 28-Sep-16 07:43:48

Make the first step today. Send the package back and get a refund.

I think you know your stressor and that is a tough one, but I think you need a better way to be kind to yourself.

Book afternoon tea with a friend you can really talk to? Weekend away with 'time off' from fertility stuff? Maybe even some time with a counsellor.

Poor old sausage. You have a coping mechanism but it is not a great one and is financially going to have a negative impact.

Littlebee76 Wed 28-Sep-16 07:45:26

I'm the same tiredqueen, it's a surprise if nothing's been delivered on a day.
I do need to get a handle on it as I'd save so much money plus when I get these things I need most of the time I can't even remember what it was I purchased even later that day!

HeteronormativeHaybales Wed 28-Sep-16 07:45:43

The key in your post, IMO, is 'it never seems to give me a day off'. You speak of this habit/behaviour as if it were a tyrannical boss. That indicates you are not in control, or you don't feel in control.

IIWY I would go to your GP and look into getting CBT, which can work really well for specific problems like this - recognising the issues and the patterns behind them and working on breaking those patterns - or another kind of counselling or therapy. It certainly sounds as if you use the shopping to distract from other, difficult things. I am a tiny, tiny bit like this - I only shop if we 'need' something, but I know I do it in preference to other things that need doing. So I can understand the lure.

Sorry to hear about the IVF flowers

Suzietwo Wed 28-Sep-16 07:47:08

I think it depends. I never go to the shops so of I need something it's delivered - usually by Amazon prime. This week I've had a timer for the kitchen delivered (5.99 - surprisingly expensive!) and I've ordered some protein bars (14.99 in bulk). Last week it was some kids clothes, some noodles (I buy a particular brand in bulk) and underwear for me.

I think the way we shop has changed. In the past I would have worked out what I needed and gone on the high street one Saturday and come home with it all. I guess some people still do that but I don't.

The only thing which bothers me is all the packaging

Beebeeeight Wed 28-Sep-16 07:47:47

Doo you hoard?

It is a sign of a psychological problem.

Tiredqueen87 Wed 28-Sep-16 07:47:57

I try and stop and say no I'm not and then I can't stop 🙈 Stuff arrives and I think 'o forgot I'd ordered that'

myownprivateidaho Wed 28-Sep-16 07:48:46

I addition to the good advice above, in the short term, I would delete the apps, unsubscribe from all marketing emails (gmail will do it automatically if you delete them), delete credit card info from your devices etc. Also, possibly something like the freedom app (which blocks the internet) could help.

Tiredqueen87 Wed 28-Sep-16 07:50:18

I have no apps on my phone, just on google and that's it. I have to admit, I'd bought something by 7am today 😕

Titsalinabumsquash Wed 28-Sep-16 07:55:14

I struggle with this, it's not stuff for me though but for the kids. I have to consciously make the effort to not shop. I also have to sell a lot of clothes where I've purchased far too much and my daughter never wears them. blush
It came to a point last a little while ago when I had spent and spent via PayPal and then suddenly all the money came out at once and made us go into minus figures. It was a wake up call and the embarrassment of explaining to DP was enough to make me try and sort it.
I've spoken openly to DP about it and I'm making a real effort not to click the 'checkout' button anymore, I've also unlinked my PayPal and one click on amazon so it's harder to pay online if I have to actually get my purse and put in all the card numbers etc.

Tiredqueen87 Wed 28-Sep-16 07:57:19

I know my card details 😳

Tiredqueen87 Wed 28-Sep-16 08:00:15

I have to be honest though, I've never seen this as a problem.

80sWaistcoat Wed 28-Sep-16 08:03:30

A friend suggested to me to :

put whatever you are looking at on a wish list, by the time you come back to it, the urge should have gone, try and make that the next day or once a week

Sort out your stuff, once I realised I had 5 basically identical green jumpers, the urge wore off

Go for a walk!

Do a budget, so give yourself £50 to spend a week online, it may make you more discerning.

Religiously send back anything that isn't right or you haven't used, the trekking to the post office may take the urge off

Tot up what you've spent online this year and work out how lovely a hilliest you could have had/proportion of mortgage paid off/new car...

80sWaistcoat Wed 28-Sep-16 08:04:34

Hilliest = holiday...

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