Skip to main content
Skip to main navigation
Skip to talk navigation

Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Flip

1 2

AIBU?

Communal food

35 replies

OhMrsQ · 27/09/2016 17:58

morning!
So, I have this group of friends. When we go camping for the weekend, one of the girls (J) always sends out a group text about 'meal combining'. She will say hey lets all combine food, and then say she is bringing something like homemade pickled goods and artichokes (this was last time). The other ladies jump on this.

I hate this. I'm the sole vegetarian, and I like to bring my own food. Which others then like the look of and take some. I can't share any of theirs as its usually meat (and the fecking pickles).

I would like to add the reason this makes me so grumpy is that J had 2 couples over to hers for the long weekend in May. She charged everyone $20 each for food for Saturday dinner, and for the sandwiches on Sunday. I had to bring my own veggie option. The others all got some rubbed beef(?) or something like that.

I don't get it. When I have people over for dinner, I don't charge them!!

But we are all going away again in 2 weeks, and I bet this message comes up again. I want to say no, my boyfriend thinks its rude.

Please, what is the best reply? All I want to bring to be honest is some veggie burgers and a shitload of prossecco. and not share. turns out I can't spell Prosecco. Proseco? anyway.

OP posts:

Report

OhMrsQ · 27/09/2016 17:59

I mean I want to say no to the meal sharing, but my boyfriend thinks I would be being rude.

OP posts:

lastqueenofscotland · 27/09/2016 18:02

I'm a veggie and when we did this as a group I asked everyone for £20 and just went and bought EVERYTHING meat/veggie/beer
So much easier

JeSuisUnChocoholic · 27/09/2016 18:08

Why is she charging people for food? If you invite someone, you pay for their meal. I'm veggie and wouldn't mind sharing food as long as it doesn't have meat, gelatine etc.
But it's your decision so YANBU

OhMrsQ · 27/09/2016 18:12

Exactly! I have friends over for dinner once a week. I don't charge them!

I would do the $20 each (sorry, no pound key on my keyboard!) and buy everything but I'm so grumpy about paying to go to someone's house for dinner I just don't want to. Plus we have a gluten-free, an organic special meat person, and all sorts and I don't know I'd be buying the right thing.

OP posts:

YelloDraw · 27/09/2016 18:12

Just say "thanks but I'm going to do my own veggie thing and sit of the communal food, thanks anyway loves"

venusinscorpio · 27/09/2016 18:14

Exactly what Yello said. I'd just say (and have) that I wanted to opt out, as a veggie, and would sort my own out. It's never particularly fair unless they provide loads of veggie dishes as you don't get much to eat and they eat yours.

OhMrsQ · 27/09/2016 18:14

Yello that is exactly what I want to say. I just don't want to sound rude. Doesn't sound rude does it?

OP posts:

OhMrsQ · 27/09/2016 18:17

They don't, venus.
I used to make kick-ass salads and halloumi and roasted veggie kebabs, which they wanted to try ('what is Halloumi?' etc). Unfortunately when I made them again, the meat eaters wanted some and I was left with a kebab and some salad.
Maybe I'll make dessert of some sort as my contribution and they can leave my nice stuff alone.

OP posts:

venusinscorpio · 27/09/2016 18:18

Just be assertive. It might sound awkward but I don't see it as rude. I see it as a bit thoughtless of your needs expecting to do otherwise. That is also rude.

somekindofmother · 27/09/2016 18:21

it's not rude. just say 'I'll sit out this time, I'll just grab myself some veggie burgers or something, can't wait to see you xx'

MrsHulk · 27/09/2016 18:27

It's not rude, just say you're going to bring your own veggie food. If anybody then wants to try it, just say politely "sorry, I only brought enough for myself". Also veggie and used to have this problem all the time till I got assertive about it. Nobody's ever complained or seemed offended!

YelloDraw · 27/09/2016 18:29

Doesn't sound rude does it?

Nope! Just go for it. As long as you aren't awkward about it then they have no reason to be.

ConvincingLiar · 27/09/2016 18:31

"Hi girls, it's easier if I just bring my own so I won't bother with the kitty." A shareable pudding sounds sociable.

DoreenLethal · 27/09/2016 18:32

'That doesn't work for me, will bring my own. Can't wait to see everyone. x'

OhMrsQ · 27/09/2016 18:32

Ok. Lesson for Tuesday.. Learn assertiveness!

Its the same with beer. I take prosecco, which I am now sure I'm spelling right but spellcheck seems to think not. We fill a cooler with beer, and then two of the guys who never bring enough start dipping into our cooler. My boyfriend said its nice to share. We are the poorest out of the group! At least I've steered him towards cheap cans of PBR instead of the good stuff!

OP posts:

OhMrsQ · 27/09/2016 18:33

I will bring dessert though. That, I will happily share!

OP posts:

venusinscorpio · 27/09/2016 18:33

Yes. Agree maybe also take a pudding to share one day to show willing, but definitely opt out of the kitty.

OhMrsQ · 27/09/2016 18:33

Next question....

What shall I make?!

OP posts:

ConvincingLiar · 30/09/2016 06:42

Might be too late but I assume you want to keep your cooler for booze? How about chocolate brownies? They're pretty hardy.

ConvincingLiar · 30/09/2016 06:44

www.cooked.com/uk/James-Martin/Quadrille-Publishing/Desserts/Cakes-and-bakes/Dark-chocolate-brownies-recipe

This is my go to recipe for brownies. They are delicious.

OhMrsQ · 30/09/2016 17:03

thank you! Its not too late, its next weekend :)

I will make those next week. Thanks!

OP posts:

ConvincingLiar · 01/10/2016 08:01

If you're feeling fancy maybe some nuts or cherries (in kirsch?) could be added? Or amaretto?

Hope you have a great weekend.

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Email address

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

BikeRunSki · 01/10/2016 08:15

OhMrsQ I am often the lone veggie and I so agree with you!!!! I think opting out of the kitty is the thing to do, otherwise you'll just feel disappointed and ripped off.

Are those James Martin brownies gluten-free if you're going to share them?

TheMidnightHour · 01/10/2016 08:23

I'm regularly the lone veggie and if it's a regular thing I eventually kick off (or get DP to) and say I'll only contribute if half the food is veggie (or at least one other person brings veggie food or whatever proportion makes it sound like I might get to eat a reasonable meal!) It comes up all the bloody time with meals out and sharing platters and splitting the bill... I really don't understand why people want a kitty or share plate when they're not willing to actually meet the needs of the whole group.

OhMrsQ · 03/10/2016 17:14

I know! I hate to share food.
I'm making the cookies this week, and some 'smores cake things.

They can all guzzle on the flesh of piggiewigs enjoy their own food, I'll enjoy my mushroom and kale burger :)

OP posts:

Flip

1 2

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.