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Breastfeeding Memes

(54 Posts)
User6Billion Mon 26-Sep-16 21:13:57

First time in AIBU

I'm (or I was) a member of a Breastfeeding group. They're pretty militant but someone recently posted a pic about cavewomen feeding. How they are better than others because they got on with it.

I pointed out numerous babies died from failure to thrive and that the invention if formula was an incredible thing. I've been banned for this. Despite trying to argue that division of mother's is ridiculous and that some cannot feed

Despite me still feeding my 18 month old, I'm considered a shill for the formula companies

Please say I'm not insane.

MyBreadIsEggy Mon 26-Sep-16 21:16:22

You're not insane.
I think I must be a member of the same group if it's the meme I'm thinking of, that was posted this morning? Orange background, cave-painting style handprints??
I'm a massive bf advocate, but also crept that formul does indeed have its place, but you're not allowed to say that on there hmm

cookiefiend Mon 26-Sep-16 21:17:26

You are not insane! I still bf my 3yo but would have lost her if not combination feeding at the start. Bf is hard work- and simply doesn't work for everyone. Yet no one in my life has asked me how my mother fed me so in the end it doesn't matter as long as the baby is healthy.

booox Mon 26-Sep-16 21:23:31


Yanbu better off without! I'm so sorry. I think they're a bit off.

I've been very lucky to be involved with a sane group who'd pick holes in that argument!

My initial thought was "well that's a pile of bollocks; a woman struggling would have handed their babe to another to feed" The tribe would have supported etc and yes, failure to thrive would have happened. Later cultures used donkeys to suckle babies (horses have the closest milk to humans) or other domestic beasts. Wet nurses etc. But infant mortality was very high for a wide range of reasons. Feeding issues may well have been a part of it. Tongue ties were cut as routine. In cave man times undoubtedly some babies died.

But the reason you're better off without is that they didn't enter into a discussion with you, evidence based etc. They did "TALK TO THE HAND BOOB"

I BF my son till 3.5 btw.

Diddlydokey Mon 26-Sep-16 21:25:52

Yanbu. The Internet cares far too much. They must have a lot of time on their hands to mull it over and make it into an issue.

Irl, it is a question that gets asked when you have a tiny infant and even then it's just making conversation - no one really cares because it doesn't matter. You can't tell the difference.

frikadela01 Mon 26-Sep-16 21:25:56

The coordinator of my local breastfeeding group hates militant types because she thinks that people who are really full on about bf can make those that struggle feel like shit and thus are less likely to approach groups for support. Some people breastfeed, some people use formula, some people do both. Don't see how it's anyone's business to judge that

minifingerz Mon 26-Sep-16 21:27:12

In the past babies died when their mothers died or became catastrophically ill after childbirth and there was nobody else around to breastfeed them like a grandmother, aunt or wet nurse. But lots of babies dying because breastfeeding commonly fails? I don't think so. Outright lactation failure is very rare among women living in settings where formula is not easily available.

I suspect that worldwide, formula has killed more babies than it's saved.


Champagneformyrealfriends Mon 26-Sep-16 21:28:28

Yanbu. You questioned what makes them feel superior and they didn't like it. There's more to life than how other people feed their babies ffs.

TronaldDump Mon 26-Sep-16 21:34:02

YANBU OP, but I'm disappointed this isn't a thread for sharing amusing breastfeeding memes. That would be worthwhile.

minifingerz Mon 26-Sep-16 21:35:28

"but also crept that formul does indeed have its place"

Well of course it does - 98% of babies in the U.K have formula before they are one and most babies over a few weeks old are fully formula fed.

In other words, it's the normal way to feed babies in the UK, mostly for cultural reasons and not biological ones.

I find it so odd that people talk about this issue as though formula use was a rare medical necessity, under attack by naive fanatics promoting breastfeeding, rather than primarily an ubiquitous consumer choice, heavily marketed by powerful economic interests.

Honestly, the formula companies don't need their products to be defended. They're doing very nicely thank you, with 98% of mothers buying and using baby milk.

TronaldDump Mon 26-Sep-16 21:35:57

Maybe this one

booox Mon 26-Sep-16 21:37:19

Mini has it spot on.

But the issue here is they didn't engage in discussion with you, you were banned when a discussion could have been opened up.

The formula issue is that formula companies would have you believe they are miraculous. If it were on the nhs as a back up failing BF, expressing and donor milk it would be seen in that hierarchical order.

Bearfrills Mon 26-Sep-16 21:37:52

Outright lactation failure is very rare among women living in settings where formula is not easily available.

Do you have stats on rates of failure or are you guessing? I would presume in places where the majority of babies are breastfed that any mother with lactation failure would simply pass the baby to a lactating friend/relative and that it is quite common to BF your sisters/daughters/cousins/friends baby alongside your own.

Formula isn't bleach.

ChocolateForAll Mon 26-Sep-16 21:38:29

YANBU. What a bunch of dicks.

charlybs Mon 26-Sep-16 21:41:49


There's being an advocate for something and there's being a dick about it!!

Whatsername17 Mon 26-Sep-16 21:42:45

I read an article a while ago in which archaeologists discovered primitive feeding devices for babies. The idea that breastfeeding is the only way babies have ever been fed is incorrect. I'm pro-breastfeeding. I tried so hard with my first dd but was diagnosed with primary lactation failure after my milk failed to come in. I agonised over ff my dd and hated myself because I felt I'd let her down. 5 years later and I have a healthy, bright 5 year old. I'm pregnant again, and, just like last time I will not be buying any ff equipment because I plan to breastfeed. But, this time, if I fail to lactate and my gp insists I use formula in order for my baby to thrive I won't beat myself up. People like me need people like the previous posters who have fed for extended periods of time, have loads of tips and advice, but ultimately will not judge me if I use a bottle.

Diddlydokey Mon 26-Sep-16 21:44:45

charly 🙌

Life motto.. don't be a dick

User6Billion Mon 26-Sep-16 21:48:50

Eggy. Yes. It's the exact one.

I pointed out I'm a medical person and got told it was disgusting that medics didn't support Breastfeeding. Ummm...

booox Mon 26-Sep-16 21:49:37

Bear it can be a pituitary issue, breast tissue gland issue or be due to untreated hypothyroidism. I guess as common as those conditions are.

But yes, that group sound like dicks!

Bearfrills Mon 26-Sep-16 21:51:02

They really do sound like dicks, you're well rid OP.

booox Mon 26-Sep-16 21:52:50


I think I'm very lucky to be a part of a group run by a lactation consultant and many 'medical' women within the group.

Definitely more sensible and no one has ever judged for formula use.

just get on with it is a very divisive phrase

frikadela01 Mon 26-Sep-16 21:53:52

People like me need people like the previous posters who have fed for extended periods of time, have loads of tips and advice, but ultimately will not judge me if I use a bottle.
This... In spades.
Breastfeeding went tits up for me.only a few weeks in due to being hospitalised with an infection (not in the breast region) that left me unable to even hold Ds to feed him. I tried and went to the support groups when I was better but Ds just wouldn't stay latched for longer than 5 minutes and pulled off really violently that left my nipples in agony. I just didn't have it in me at the time to push through that and he ended up being fed expressed milk for about a month and is now exclusively ff. I was really lucky that the bf coordinator was so supportive offering me advise on expressing and was non judgmental. If she hadn't been like that I'd probably have stopped expressing altogether.

Soubriquet Mon 26-Sep-16 21:56:29

Never engage with breast feeding militants

They shut down all conversation and refuse to listen.

It's never worth it

User6Billion Mon 26-Sep-16 21:58:11

My mil couldn't feed. My best friend couldn't either. I've had it easy.

But I still hate the breast, according to the group

Typed as I settle my child to sleep.

I just hate the division between breast and not. It's pointless. As long as a child is gaining weight, surely that's what matters

MiniAlphaBravo Mon 26-Sep-16 22:07:01

* As long as a child is gaining weight, surely that's what matters* well obviously this is important but there are clear benefits at a population level for higher rates of breastfeeding such as immune system boosts and even higher IQ. On an anecdotal level i have noticed that bf seems to be much less likely to lead to constipation and reflux issues which seem so common amongst formula fed babies.

However i do agree that there's nothing intrinsically wrong with formula milk and banning you is a bit silly.

But it's also true that it is very unusual to have primary breastfeeding failure. I think I've seen figures suggesting 2%. My grandma had a secondary failure with my mum at around 4 months and when they noticed the baby was failing to gain weight she went straight on to cows milk! This was over 60 years ago. She's very healthy.

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