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To ask if you are scared of death

(197 Posts)
Lovinglife786 Mon 26-Sep-16 15:22:59

I was talking to my grandmother who is terminally ill with breast cancer she has a couple of months left to live it has all happened so quick so it still doesn't feel real,I asked her if she is scared of dying and she said no and I believe her she is the most genuine and honest person you could meet, I admire her so much if it was me I would be terrified I just can't get my head around how calm she is,I just wondered how many people are scared of death aibu to ask

Oysterbabe Mon 26-Sep-16 15:24:29

I'm not scared of dying.
I'm scared of people I love dying.

DerekSprechenZeDick Mon 26-Sep-16 15:24:29

Sorry to hear about your grandmother

I'm not scared of death. Sometimes I think I would quite welcome it.

There's nothing to be afraid of imo

SoleBizzz Mon 26-Sep-16 15:24:49

I'm scared of knowing I'm about to die with an illness and feeling full of regrets about my life.

SirChenjin Mon 26-Sep-16 15:25:14

I'm not scared of death - as long as it's not painful or violent. The thought of leaving everyone and everything I love dearly just makes me feel very, very sad though sad

ThumbWitchesAbroad Mon 26-Sep-16 15:25:27

I think most people are scared of dying too young - your grandmother might be quite old?
My mum was clearly (and visibly) scared of dying at 63, god rest her - but my Grandad was quite happy to go at 94.

I'm scared of the possibility of it, not the actual process, but of leaving my little boys too soon - so I hope it doesn't happen for a long time yet.

ImperialBlether Mon 26-Sep-16 15:25:41

I'm so sorry your grandmother's ill.

My dad died this year and he wasn't scared of death - I don't think he was even years ago. My mum's 86 and I don't think she's reached that point where she's not scared, except she firmly believes she's joining him, so that has definitely taken some of the fear away.

I'm frightened of dying and leaving my children without my support. I think if they were married with their own families it would feel very different.

BlackeyedSusan Mon 26-Sep-16 15:26:05

depends how much it hurts.

being dead does not scare me. leaving the children does.

HallowedMimic Mon 26-Sep-16 15:26:05

I'm not scared of death.

I'd have some regret at leaving my family without me, but I'd just have to let it go.

There is either nothing, or an afterlife, so I'll either be oblivious or totally blown away!

bedsidelamps Mon 26-Sep-16 15:27:30

Not scared, move overwhelming. Just suddenly not existing anymore and for infinity after that. I almost can't grasp the concept.

Maxwellthecat Mon 26-Sep-16 15:27:38

I am! And I think about it all the time. Genuinely thinking about going to the Drs about it to be honest, I sometimes feel like I miss out on life because I'm so anxious about death and my loved ones dying.
I thought it was normal but I don't think it is.
My grandad died very quickly of cancer when he was in his early seventies but still very fit and he was terrified and angry and really didn't want to die. It's really scarred me because I had always believed that you would die in peace and I felt like my core beliefs had been shattered.

Sorry that's probably not what you want to to hear but I needed to get that out.

I'm so sorry about your grandma by the way she sounds totally precious.


Yorkieheaven Mon 26-Sep-16 15:27:47

No but terrified of loosing my dh, kids and grandkids.

bedsidelamps Mon 26-Sep-16 15:29:29

Also, I read something that helped take the fear away....

You didn't exist before you were born and that wasn't scary, so not existing after death won't be scary either.

Butterfingering Mon 26-Sep-16 15:30:08

No I'm not scared of dying. But I worry every day that my DH is going to die.

As you do, we're thinking about pensions, retirement and long-term plans but quite a big part of me is convinced he won't be here when we're 50. I have no idea how to talk to him about this.

phillipp Mon 26-Sep-16 15:33:32

Like other I am not scared of death.

I am scared about when and how it might happen. The thought of my kids growing up without me or grieving for me, scares me far more than actually dying.

OhhBetty Mon 26-Sep-16 15:33:54

I've been with many people as they die due to my job. The vast majority don't have an expression of fear on their faces as they die. Also, as we get older some of us feel more ready for death. Others become scared of it as they start yo face their own mortality.

I'm 26 but I am in no way afraid of death. The only thing I am afraid of is not seeing my son grow up. It's a lot more scary to have loved ones die.

TheSparrowhawk Mon 26-Sep-16 15:33:57

No, but I'm scared of the process of dying. I would like to go quietly, in my sleep.

I do worry a lot about people I love dying.

ImperialBlether Mon 26-Sep-16 15:34:39

Is he ill, Butterfingering, or are you just feeling anxious about it?

Binkybix Mon 26-Sep-16 15:35:24

I'm so scared of it that I feel sick and dizzy if I consider it for even a second.

BadToTheBone Mon 26-Sep-16 15:38:07

I'm not scared of death, I don't believe there's anything after it, so nothing to be scared of do to speak. I don't want it to happen anytime soon though, lol

SloanePeterson Mon 26-Sep-16 15:38:08

Not at all. I used to be, when I was younger. But not anymore. I came very close to death a few weeks ago, I lost a lot of blood and when things got critical I actually felt very relaxed and ready to go, no fear at all. I think that's your body's way of dealing with trauma, I didn't feel panicked or try to hold on at all, which has left me with all sorts of horrible feelings of guilt to deal with now. But 100% not afraid of dying. I do honestly believe it'll just be like going to sleep.

Eolian Mon 26-Sep-16 15:38:11

I'm not scared by the idea of being dead - I believe once you're gone that's it. No after-life/heaven/whatever, and I don't find anything scary about that.
I am scared of terminal illness, pain and the idea of knowing I'm dying and my family knowing I'm dying. But I imagine pretty much anyone would be scared by those things.

FatimaLovesBread Mon 26-Sep-16 15:38:23

I am. It's a massive fear of mine.
I suffer from health anxiety and panic attacks and depression previously. Mainly well managed but a lot of that is interlinked with my fear of death.

I would like to get to a place where it doesn't scare me anymore. Most of the time I'm OK as I don't really think about it. At the moment I'm exhausted due to have a 5 month old and it sometimes gets harder to distract myself

minmooch Mon 26-Sep-16 15:39:22

I'm not scared of dying I hope to see my eldest son who died 29 months ago. I would be sad to leave my other son and don't want him to experience any more bereavement than he already has. I shall wait this living bit out to help my youngest son then I shall welcome death to see my Will again.

CalmYaTits Mon 26-Sep-16 15:44:21

Nope, I'm a funeral arranger so death doesn't faze me. Unless it's someone I love.

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