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To wonder why some people are so in awe of people that have money?

(118 Posts)
LucyTory Mon 26-Sep-16 10:23:09

I've seen it happen quite a lot in the town in which I live. It's quite a small town and everybody seems to know everybody else, and it always seems as though people that have money get put on a pedestal by many and treated as local heroes.

Most recently, an aquaintance's financial situation has changed a lot in the past couple of years. Her DH started a business and it's gone really well, and they've gone from living in a 2 bedroom semi to a 5 bedroom detached house, upgraded their car, have nice holidays, buy nice things etc. Since this has happened she seems to have acquired hundreds of fans on Facebook, that ooh and aah at everything she is wearing in photos and gush about how nice her house is, and how lovely her kids are. This didn't really happen before she appeared to have money.

On Saturday it was the birthday party of one of her DCs. It was in a soft play place locally where loads of people have their DCs parties. During the course of Saturday I must have seen 6 or 7 Facebook statuses each tagging her and saying they'd had a great time at "The Party of the Year". It's so weird! It was just kids playing in the soft play followed by kids eating fishfingers and chips!

Basically it seems that since this woman has been better off financially she gets treated like a queen!

Does anyone else notice this kind of thing regarding people who have a bit of money? As I said, I have seen it happen quite a bit locally.

Yorkieheaven Mon 26-Sep-16 10:24:11

Not in awe just jealous. grin

jelliebelly Mon 26-Sep-16 10:25:06

Not in awe just hoping to get in with her so they get s share in the lifestyle too (cynical emoticon)

Floggingmolly Mon 26-Sep-16 10:26:17

Not really. Tbh, "The party of the year!!" thing sounds like either a load of brain dead syncophants, or, far more likely a complete pisstake...

M0nstersinthecl0set Mon 26-Sep-16 10:26:20

Actually 'party of the year' I'd assume they were beibg sarcastic for softplay and fish fingers. That's a bit blah (though i am sure kids had fun).

LucyTory Mon 26-Sep-16 10:28:44

No I don't think they were being sarcastic, as they all posted loads of photos and gushed about what an amazing time they'd had, plus they all usually fawn over her anyway.

Yorkieheaven Mon 26-Sep-16 10:33:36

You sound a tad green eyed op. grin still the 'party of the year' is pathetic. I would be tempted to add a cheeky remark to the status but you would just look jealous.

Ignore and decried.

Yorkieheaven Mon 26-Sep-16 10:33:52

Sorry defriend.

LucyTory Mon 26-Sep-16 10:34:37

I'm not green eyed at all, Yorkie.

CousinCharlotte Mon 26-Sep-16 10:38:53

I've seen this where I live. In a pub I used to work in the Landlord would fawn over wealthier customers with big houses in the village, even though they only came in sporadically, and treated his regulars from more humble backgrounds with utter contempt, even though they were the ones keeping his business afloat.

mouldycheesefan Mon 26-Sep-16 10:38:59

This surely must be very unusual. Doesn't sound like th lady in question has come into millions, she has a bigger house and car. She is till having parties at the soft play jot the ritz.
Don't think this is a common phenomenon.

Iwasjustabouttosaythat Mon 26-Sep-16 10:43:22

Maybe she is more interesting now? Probably has lots more to talk about what with their nice holidays and nice things. Why would people have talked about her house before if it wasn't nice like her new house? And maybe having this money and the new clothes and experiences that brings means your friend is feeling more confident and widening her social circle?

The freedom that money brings would make most of our lives more interesting. YABU.

KERALA1 Mon 26-Sep-16 10:47:54

I disagree mouldy. Used to live in north London and often saw gwyneth paltrows kids at our council run rather basic soft play sessions of a Tuesday morning! Plus most of the cast of spooks. My friend and I often noted that gwyneths kids had crisps frequently so admit I do raise an eyebrow at her healthy eating stuff that seems to be in every mag at the dentists.

TrollTheRespawnJeremy Mon 26-Sep-16 10:48:10

Im a bit posh, although you'd never know from looking at me....

I have a wee job a couple of days a week that I enjoy. Ive been there over a year so have gotten to know a lot of the customers.

One customer didnt used to give me the time of day. Terrible gossip manager told them 'who I am'. Ever since that, I get fawned over, told how wonderful I am and there is much earnest hand touching.

It's baffling. I don't know what she 'gets' from it. All the staff think it's hilarious.

NewPotatoes Mon 26-Sep-16 10:50:33

I would have dismissed this as imaginary (and am not on FB so have no notions of what passes as 'normal'), but I have noticed since we moved to this village that people seem unduly invested in/struck by our perceived 'wealth'.

When we first came, we rented and as I don't drive and was on maternity leave, I mostly met other parents with small children at local baby groups I could get to by walking or by bus, and was clearly perceived as ordinary.

However, when DH happened to pick me up from somewhere after maybe a year here, there was a lot of obvious surprise among other mothers at the group over his car (I gathered from a tactless but well-meaning acquaintance that we 'don't seem like the kind of people who could afford that') and later still, when I was back at work (am an academic) and circumstances meant that my husband's job became very high-profile locally, we suddenly seemed to exist for some people in a way we hadn't before, though I gather (through a different tactless friend grin) that we are considered puzzling, because we don't 'show' evidence of the high-ish income we are generally perceived to have.

(As far as I can grasp, this means that we haven't got the 'markers' associated locally with a high income - I don't drive, I commute to work by bus, we don't send our son to private school, we don't have one of those gleaming empty kitchens with boiling water taps, and I am not dressy, and while we have a big-ish house, it's a warren of books.)

I'm still completely taken aback that there is any interest in this, and that people have clearly been classing us on some 'scale' since we got here.

Yorkieheaven Mon 26-Sep-16 10:52:48

Lucy flowers was only joking. It would annoy me too best ignored.

mouldycheesefan Mon 26-Sep-16 10:56:30

Kerala, sorry I meant it was unusual for people to fawn over other people because they have a bit more money and have moved to a bigger house. Not that it's unusual for wealthy people to go to soft play as everyone rich or poor has to penance at the bloody soft play!

funfunapple Mon 26-Sep-16 11:02:56

I agree. I live in an area where wealth is judged by the car you drive and the house you live in and how often you go to Dubai or Miami and therefore you must be rich and people are in awe. We drive nice but ordinary cars, live in a nice but ordinary house and go on nice but ordinary holidays and people definitely perceive us to be fairly run of the mill and often make comments suggesting the we may be struggling especially as DH is very understated and plays down what he does, thinks buying a shirt in Zara is extravagant and I work from home so people assume my job is pin money. I would never correct them as that's how we like it and we couldn't bear people to want to be friends with us because they think that we are well off.

A couple of weeks ago I mentioned to a school mum that DH was away for work and what he was doing (not anything very interesting to my mind) but there was an audible gasp and the comment "oh, I didn't realise that he was at that kind of level" cue, she has been very friendly since then.

GingerbreadLatteToGo Mon 26-Sep-16 11:02:59

It's hardly a new phenomenon now is it?

I think people (mostly sub consciously) try to stay 'in their good books' either in hope that they will somehow benefit OR in fear of somehow being treated badly. The perception is that people with money have more control over things than people without. Money is power.

gratesnakes Mon 26-Sep-16 11:10:59

It's the way of the world and always has been.

NewPotatoes Mon 26-Sep-16 11:13:40

I agree. I live in an area where wealth is judged by the car you drive and the house you live in and how often you go to Dubai or Miami and therefore you must be rich and people are in awe.

Is this normal, though? It's pretty fucking depressing if so. I seem to be late to the party in realising this is a thing outside of 1950s novels and Hyacinth Bucket. We were students living on air for a million years, have done a lot of travelling and short term jobs in different parts of the world, and our friends vary from stonkingly rich to practically penniless, and are mostly working in the arts or academia or living on smallholdings teaching drystone walling or trying to make a career in opera but not getting anywhere yet etc etc.

I can honestly say that someone's money is the least interesting thing about them as far as I am concerned, and as far as cars go, as long as they get you from A to B, I couldn't care less or understand why anyone else would. (And I used to live in Dubai, and a more ghastly hellhole doesn't exist.) Sometimes I feel like I'm living in a parallel universe here, where people seem terribly invested in one another's holidays and new kitchens - and I suspect I only see a fraction of it, as am not on FB.

MatildaTheCat Mon 26-Sep-16 11:16:59

My in laws are just like this in that anyone who has a highly paid job is somehow far superior to others even if the others are actually working in an area of great public good. It drives me insane.

QuimReaper Mon 26-Sep-16 11:18:24

I haven;t noticed this but I know what you mean, it reminds me of these "lifestyle bloggers" who get fawned over for totally normal things by brainless fangirls. There's one whom I follow on Instagram, and she only has to post something totally mundane like a picture of her and her boyfriend clinking a glass of wine and eating a pizza on the sofa whilst watching a film, and there are thousands of comments of "you're so cool", "where did you get your socks from?" and tagging each other with comments like "@whoever we HAVE to do this!" and "@whoever2 Friday night plan?"

Are they really so dull that they need to designate an idol to copy even the most basic things?

Anyway, bit of a tangent, but I know what you mean. I think lots of people just really need an idol to latch onto. It's to do with insecurity.

Humidseptember Mon 26-Sep-16 11:20:56

Its something I have rarely come across, in our NCT group one girl very much a corporate body was sounding us all out on jobs, wealth and stuff. Made it clear she came from what she perceived as money. Awful awful girl.
Other than her it was my own in laws, snobby and awful, never ever come across such blatant snobbery before I met them. Its been awful to live with at close quarters too. Mil reveres anyone with money and thinks she has to worry even though they are extremely well off.

Humidseptember Mon 26-Sep-16 11:22:53

It's the way of the world and always has been.

^^ there is a difference between being interested or even fascinated by how the other half live, to obsequious fawning over them and thinking they are better though.

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