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AIBU? Mother in law!

(92 Posts)
Rubysmummy2016 Sun 25-Sep-16 22:09:14

My little girl has been stopping at the MIL's one night a week for a few months now, but it's already getting the point that I want to put an end to it!

Shes constantly telling me that my daughter is doing everything first when she's at her house (apparently, my daughter saves all her "firsts" for this one particular night)

On my birthday we all went out for a meal and I said that my daughter was getting really close to rolling over, to which my MIL smiled and said "oh I wasn't going to tell you. I didn't want to hurt your feelings, but she did that last week at my house". If she didn't want to say it for fear of hurting my feelings, then why bloody say it!!

It's gotten to the point where whenever she comes to pick her up, we tell her excitedly what her granddaughters been up to, and it's always the same "she's been doing that for a few weeks at our house." or "she already did that last week" Every. Single. Time.

Apparently my baby always sleeps better at her house, plays more and eats more (Although when she's sent over how much milk she's having, it's actually less)

I may be being oversensitive. I don't know. Its just really starting to wind me up! I don't see why she seems to think this is a competition, it's not! Shes been a mother to her babies and now it's my turn, I don't see why she's trying to take these "firsts" away from me!

gettingtherequickly Sun 25-Sep-16 22:11:19

You aren't being over sensitive, she sounds like a cow.

sillygoof Sun 25-Sep-16 22:11:45

Why does she stay over so often?

Only1scoop Sun 25-Sep-16 22:12:38

Does she need to stay so often?

SaucyJack Sun 25-Sep-16 22:12:46

Put an end to it then.

DerekSprechenZeDick Sun 25-Sep-16 22:13:09

Tell her she can roll an ace joint and took to the bong like a pro

See if she can top that

Only1scoop Sun 25-Sep-16 22:13:43


Rubysmummy2016 Sun 25-Sep-16 22:14:05

My husbands idea to have her stay once a week, although I've been saying for weeks I want her to stay home, he doesn't want to hurt her feelings.

Evilstepmum01 Sun 25-Sep-16 22:14:19

I was going to say, why does your baby stay at MiL? When my DS was a baby, he stayed with me. In fact he;s 3 and has never stayed away!

I just couldnt let him go to bed without mummy cuddles!!

ThePinkOcelot Sun 25-Sep-16 22:14:26

How old is she, and why does she stay over 1 night a week?

Nanny0gg Sun 25-Sep-16 22:14:47

Your DD sounds quite young.

Whose idea is it for her to stay away?

mrszc Sun 25-Sep-16 22:15:14

Put a stop to it and when she asks why just simply say I don't want to miss out on anything else. She either admits she's lying or sulks. Tough shit for her. She sounds like a nightmare

Evilstepmum01 Sun 25-Sep-16 22:15:42

Sorry, YANBU, your MiL sounds a twat and is trying too hard. Tell DH nope, you miss your baby! maybe she could stay once a month or so?

JakeBallardswife Sun 25-Sep-16 22:15:42

I've got a pushy MIL and she wouldn't have been that insensitive. Tell everyone it doesn't suit you for her to go again.

DerekSprechenZeDick Sun 25-Sep-16 22:15:46

Does it matter why the kid stays? People
Are different.

What matters is whether OP cuts down the sleepovers to stop this competition MIL seems to be in.

You don't have to send her if you don't fancy it. Drop to once a fortnight

Rubysmummy2016 Sun 25-Sep-16 22:16:35

She's 7 months, it was my husbands idea as he's autistic and I'm his full time carer. It was more to give us both a break, but I don't think it's worth the stress afterwards.

PayAttentionNigel Sun 25-Sep-16 22:17:02

Don't let her have her and say it's because you've been missing all her firsts so your dd is just staying at home for the next X amount of months so you get to see them. That should stop mil in her tracks a bit.

NerrSnerr Sun 25-Sep-16 22:17:17

How old is your daughter? If you're not happy with the arrangement I would just stop it.

dillyduck Sun 25-Sep-16 22:18:39

One way to tell a good nursery is that a child never takes their 1st step at nursery.

MrsBungle Sun 25-Sep-16 22:19:03

Put a stop to it. Sounds like your baby is very young, it seems a lot for her to stay away once every week.

Only1scoop Sun 25-Sep-16 22:19:20

So if it's not a necessity maybe just do it now and then, break the routine perhaps.

chunkymum1 Sun 25-Sep-16 22:20:06

My DM did this with both of my DC and both of my nieces. I have no idea why but I can assure you that (having been with her when my nieces apparently had 'firsts') it's very unlikely to be true. My DM would spend her whole time desperately looking out for small signs of new developments and either imagine them or make them up. Eg. Baby moving and arm across her body as if she might be trying to turn over=baby turned over, baby grimaces after being jiggled around= first smile.

Having seen her insanity with my nieces we just ignored and humoured her with ours. But if it is upsetting you then you and/or DH need to tell her.

SpecialStains Sun 25-Sep-16 22:20:37

So you care for your dd and dh? Why doesn't your mil care for your dh one night a week to give you a break? She's already seen his firsts...

Rubysmummy2016 Sun 25-Sep-16 22:20:41

I've heard that saying a few times, I understand it now I'm a parent haha

HardcoreLadyType Sun 25-Sep-16 22:21:33

Maybe you should make some little passive aggressive remarks each time, like, "what did you do at granny's today, then, DD? Did you read War and Peace? Or did you run a marathon?"

Okay, probably not.

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