for choosing to live away from my family?

(4 Posts)
CoolToned Sun 25-Sep-16 20:58:29

My mother is a toxic person.

Growing up, she was always critical of me, my weight, how I looked, etc.

She always seemed to have this sort of competition with me. Why, I do not know. I never felt loved by her, she always preferred my younger brother.

She damaged my older brother the most, beating him up regularly as a kid, and I think she's partly to blame for how my brother turned out to be an angry person and screwed up his marriage because of his anger issues. He's with another woman now, and I know it will only take some time and my mother will dig her claws in the relationship again. I think my brother has this need to be loved by my mother.

I have chosen to live away from them. I am in another country, another continent with my husband. I rarely contact them.

My cousin, who I am particularly close to, asked me once if I talk to my mom. I said sometimes, not often. I did not elaborate.

Rosamund1 Sun 25-Sep-16 21:24:08

Yanbu

HerFaceIsAMapOfTheWorld Sun 25-Sep-16 21:37:04

I moved away from my family before it was fine and it was a time when certain people were leeching off others because they got evicted

CoolToned Sun 25-Sep-16 21:37:09

Also when my father passed away, he left a considerable amount of money, businesses, and insurance money. My mother gave them all to my younger brother.

And then she criticises my older brother for having no direction in life, for not finishing school, etc. I know he has his faults, but like me, he was deprived of what was rightfully ours (our share). And she screwed him up! Surely, beating him up daily as a child, then constantly picking a fight with him for the littlest things when he was a teenager contributed to him growing up as an angry person?

He is actually a very nice, very kind guy - until he gets angry. Then all hell breaks loose. I think he got his temper from her.

I was beat up by my mom too, but not as much as my older brother.

My mother always gave me flak for not specialising in my old field. But how could I? I needed to earn money so I could pay bills, etc. Where I came from, if you specialise, you're paid an allowance that will barely be enough to cover food. Nothing else. I asked her for help, asked her to ask my younger brother if he could help (since everything went to him) and she did not do anything.

She's so proud of my younger brother for making it in a young age, etc. She forgets to mention she basically handed him businesses and money. And yes, he is doing a good job, but you know, it sucks for us that we got basically nothing. It's just so unfair.

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