To expect my DH to get out of bed

(91 Posts)
Maxwellthecat Sun 25-Sep-16 19:17:05

So my DH wakes up earlier than me, he always has.
I have broken sleep because my very indulged cat gets me up in the night to drink from the tap (this is a topic for another post and I really don't mind getting up).
Recently my DH has started turning on the light in the bedroom when he wakes up and reading in bed, he thinks it's unreasonable of me to expect him to get up as the bed is 'cozy' and downstairs is 'cold'. He has got me an eye mask to put on to block out the light but it still wakes me up.
So can you settle this for us? Should he get up or should I put up?

DerekSprechenZeDick Sun 25-Sep-16 19:18:42

How much earlier?

And why the fuck are you getting up just for a cat?!

allsfairinlove Sun 25-Sep-16 19:19:19

Your DH is being massively unreasonable to put the light on! No. He wakes up early, he gets out of bed if he wants to read.

CaurnieBred Sun 25-Sep-16 19:19:22

He is being unreasonable. Get him a Kindle Paperwork for Christmas/birthday if possible as they are fab and what I use if I want to read but not disturb DH.

ZigZagIntoTheBlue Sun 25-Sep-16 19:20:33

Depends on the times, if it's 5am no he should try to go back to sleep or go elsewhere. If it's 10 am then more reasonable of him to want to read. Could get him pj's to wear? My dh doesn't wear pj's to bed but has then to wear in mornings while sorting out dcs. Of course the main point is don't get up for your cat then you'll be as equally well rested! Can't you get one of those little fountain things for it to drink from? You are making yourself tired by allowing a cat to have this level of control over you!

MoonStar07 Sun 25-Sep-16 19:20:37

Do you have kids? The cat needs sleep training

dillyduck Sun 25-Sep-16 19:21:18

Just leave water in the sink for the cat and lock it out of the bedroom.

What time is it?
He should also not switch the light on unless it is after 6am- but for me its fair game after 6 as that is daytime.

Maybe a good compromise would be that you lock the cat out and he doesn't get up early and read.

Mybeardeddragonjustdied2016 Sun 25-Sep-16 19:22:03

Sounds like you love your cat more than dh!! grin

Giratina Sun 25-Sep-16 19:22:14

You're both being unreasonable. He shouldn't disturb you needlessly but you shouldnt be pandering to a bloody cat that keeps you up at night. And I say that as the owner of 2 cats, I know my cat servant place but I would draw the line at broken sleep every night.

SheldonsSpot Sun 25-Sep-16 19:23:00

So it's fine for your cat to wake you up in the night for you to actually get out of bed to get it a drink, but your DH can't turn the light on and read quietly of a morning.

Well I guess you're making it clear to your DH where he comes in the pecking order.

Bizzare.

TheoriginalLEM Sun 25-Sep-16 19:23:20

Buy him a kindle paperwhite - problem solved. i love to read in the morning. Dp bought himself me one.

PepsiPenguin Sun 25-Sep-16 19:23:48

Get your cat a water fountain...

Get yourself a separate bedroom

dillyduck Sun 25-Sep-16 19:23:50

Sounds like you love your cat more than dh!!

That is what I also thought. DH is at the bottom of the heirarchy in the house.

QuiteLikely5 Sun 25-Sep-16 19:23:57

I think it's unfair on your dh that you get up several times to feed a cat. He is no better.

You are both being unreasonable

Sofabitch Sun 25-Sep-16 19:24:33

We need context here.

How early is this ?

fuzzywuzzy Sun 25-Sep-16 19:24:34

Get a water fountain for the cat (I've got one do you want it, our boys don't use it unless it's switched off).

Your Dh is BVU for turning on the lights when you're still trying to sleep, you could turn all the lights on when you get up to turn the tap on for the cat.

HeartsTrumpDiamonds Sun 25-Sep-16 19:27:03

You what now?

Elephantsaremygods Sun 25-Sep-16 19:27:43

Holy crap, I have two extremely indulged spoilt cats but getting up to turn on a tap for them is crazy!!

Mojito6 Sun 25-Sep-16 19:29:00

It sounds like he's getting back at up u for disturbing him throughout the night to turn on a tap for a cat. Seriously..
Wtf!

phillipp Sun 25-Sep-16 19:29:15

I always wake up early. If we aren't doing anything I read as it helps me sleep. I also love reading in bed.

It's a kindle fire though so no light on.

Yabu for being happy to feet up for the cat to drink from the tap, but unhappy that dh disturbs you.

Footle Sun 25-Sep-16 19:29:20

I wake horribly early and read my Paperwhite or MN on phone. No way would I be getting out of bed to read. DH sometimes reads late with the light on. If it wakes me I soon go back to sleep because it makes me feel cosy somehow, but I suppose that's just me.

Maxwellthecat Sun 25-Sep-16 19:30:46

he gets up at 5am-6am I get up at 7.30am

The cat thing is irrelevant really and is a long story. He doesn't wake up when I get up with the cat hence why I get up (he's profoundly deaf in one ear and deliberately sleeps on his good ear). Neither of us mind about the cat, it's true that our cats are probably at the top of the pecking order, because we can't have children they are like our babies and I'm not ashamed to say that. They probably do need sleep training though.

HermioneJeanGranger Sun 25-Sep-16 19:34:32

I wouldn't be impressed if DP woke me up to turn the tap on for the cat, tbh. You might not mind doing it but he clearly does!

Until you stop waking him up multiple times a night to turn taps on for the cat, I don't think you can complain when he wakes up early to read.

But, I think you'll find he stops getting the urge to wake you up reading when you stop waking up for the cat - buy it a water fountain and shut it downstairs!

HermioneJeanGranger Sun 25-Sep-16 19:37:07

X-post. Are you sure he doesn't mind? If DP wakes me in the night, I don't show it, I just ignore him and try and go back to sleep, but that doesn't mean I don't hear it and find it disturbing.

Luckily he only ever gets up once (if at all) so it's not really an issue. If it was multiple times a night, every night, I would get annoyed as I struggle to go back to sleep once woken.

user1471464472 Sun 25-Sep-16 19:37:44

We had a cat that would howl in the night for someone to get up and turn the tap on, we bought a pet fountain and the howling stopped!

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