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DH doesn't blow his nose properly, AIBU to murder him?

(15 Posts)
apatheticfallacy Sun 25-Sep-16 01:00:13

He sniffs and sniffs and sniffs. When I hand him a tissue he wipes the end of his nose and then continues to sniff. I've tried encouraging him "big blow!" And he will give a half-arsed attempt and continue sniffing.

He also sings terribly in a way that was endearing when we first met but now... Not so much... And he leaves his (underused) tissues in his pockets so the laundry is often covered in little white tissuelets. angry

When we first met he had a proper programmed handkerchief and seemed to use it effectively and discreetly. Misrepresentation surely?

So I'm thinking dissolving in acid is the way to go re: the body.

apatheticfallacy Sun 25-Sep-16 01:01:37

Monogrammed handkerchief... Although some kind of handkerchief that is programmed to give him an electric shock should be desired snot level not be reached may be an idea...

Sleepingonthebus Sun 25-Sep-16 01:02:24

Can he actually blow his nose?

I can't. It makes me vomit so I'm a sniffer.

Sleepingonthebus Sun 25-Sep-16 01:04:04

Ah. Just saw he used to do it. Don't mind me grin

Dreamfoil Sun 25-Sep-16 01:09:29

Apparently digging six one foot deep holes is easier than digging one six feet deep one - according to Orange is the New Black. You'll need power tools and / or a shout-out for local MNers for the dismemberment obviously, but HTH.

apatheticfallacy Sun 25-Sep-16 01:14:52

My neighbour has the appropriate tools and I suspect she'd roll up her sleeves in exchange for abort me of something nice. Good thinking.

And yes, he is perfectly able to do it, he just prefers not to apparently.

THE SNIFFING!!

apatheticfallacy Sun 25-Sep-16 01:15:47

Ah feck. A bottle, not abort me.

I suspect my phone is in league with him.

elephantoverthehill Sun 25-Sep-16 01:17:41

I may show Ds this thread in the morning. He is 14 and suffering from a cold. I keep encouraging him to blow his nose. Last night he asked me why at the age of 14 can he not blow his nose properly? My other 2 DCs can. So I think the threat of murder might get him to buck his ideas up.

MrsA2015 Sun 25-Sep-16 01:19:06

Your OP is hilarious, "tissuelets". Just send him out the room or offer to shove earplugs up his nostrils

onemorecupofcoffeefortheroad Sun 25-Sep-16 01:22:50

Oh you've just reminded me one of the things I hated about my ex H was his inability to blow his nose properly. He kind of snorted into a tissue but wouldn't get any actual contact with the tissue because he didn't want to make his nose red and sore. It just left snot at various places at the end of his nose. I hated it. I wanted to seriously wipe his nose properly ... It was then I knew divorce was the inly option

apatheticfallacy Sun 25-Sep-16 01:26:52

I wasn't sure if the correct term is tissuelets or tissuelings? I didn't want to create. MN fo par wink

elephant it's your duty to your DS' future wife's sanity - please, please leave the vague suggestion that a clear nostril is the only way to a partner's true satisfaction...

apatheticfallacy Sun 25-Sep-16 01:29:42

I have actually cited "snotty nose" when asked for (one of the many) reasons re: breakup of previous serious relationship prior to DH. I wonder if that explains the initial fancy hankie and correct nose blowing procedure in the early stages of our relationship? A mutual friend could well have tipped him off...

elephantoverthehill Sun 25-Sep-16 01:39:44

Actually the idea of the monogrammed handkerchiefs being used makes me feel very ill. My Father used them, always had one in his pocket, he did not do a quick wipe but a full on snotty blast. My DM had to soak and wash them. Uuurrghh.

ohnoonoo Sun 25-Sep-16 01:46:36

He sniffs and sniffs and sniffs. When I hand him a tissue he wipes the end of his nose and then continues to sniff. I've tried encouraging him "big blow!" And he will give a half-arsed attempt and continue sniffing

I genuinely laughed out loud at the big blow part grin

But no, YANBU. I can't stand sniffers. I regularly go up to someone in the office and hand them a tissue envyangry

apatheticfallacy Sun 25-Sep-16 01:52:01

I honestly would not mind washing his snotty handkerchiefs (see previous comment about his inability to properly launder clothes) I fit meant the sniffing would stop!

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