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To want to tuck myself into dd's bed with her tonight even though she likes the bed to herself?

(27 Posts)
NapQueen Sat 24-Sep-16 21:42:21

Dd will be 5 in December and has just started reception.

I work shifts and now barely see her. I fucking hate it and am doing everything I can to find a new job with daytime hours.

Yesterday she went to school at 9, awake at 7.30 so that's 1.5hrs. I went to work at 2.30pm and worked til 11.30pm.

Today I woke at 9 (I can't get to sleep til around 1am after an 11.30pm finish) and dh had taken her and her brother swimming. I left the house at 11.30am to go to work and saw them outside for a quick kiss and cuddle. Worked til 9pm so she's in bed.

Since she's started school I've spent and average of 1 Hour a day with her split across the day.

I just want to crawl into bed with her and tuck myself in and insist I sleep there.


MrsTerryPratchett Sat 24-Sep-16 21:43:20


MrsTerryPratchett Sat 24-Sep-16 21:43:34


CarpeJugulum Sat 24-Sep-16 21:44:08

Take her into yours? More space but still cuddles!

NapQueen Sat 24-Sep-16 21:44:56

She's an amazing sleeper. Amazing. Once in a blue moon she will shout for a quick drink and I always tuck myself in for a quick cuddle and invariably she will say "ok mam you can go now"

ReallyShouldKnowBetterAtMyAge Sat 24-Sep-16 21:46:05

Go and have a quick cuddle and a silent cry, I would and then let her have her space.

Will you have sometime on Sunday together? flowers

Lalunya85 Sat 24-Sep-16 21:46:13

I can understand how you must miss her.

Do it! She might just let you, she must be eager to spend more time with you too.

Fingers crossed you find a job that works better with her schedule.

mycatstares Sat 24-Sep-16 21:46:17


You deserve some chocolate&wine.

SarahJinx Sat 24-Sep-16 21:46:32

Fill your boots ❤

glenthebattleostrich Sat 24-Sep-16 21:47:42

Bless you. It's such a difficult time, accepting your baby I'd growing up sad

DD and I often end up in the spare room together on a weekend, she's a ridiculously early riser so she watches cartoons and I doze while cuddling.

glenthebattleostrich Sat 24-Sep-16 21:49:29

Oh, and a friend who works shifts shcedules 'dates' with her children. It gives them all something to look forward to.

Ringadingdingdong22 Sat 24-Sep-16 21:51:16

It would absolutely not be unreasonable to do that.

Go tuck yourself in, sniff her hair and hold her hand in yours. Stay there until she chucks you out.

They grow up far too quickly sad

Blondieblondie Sat 24-Sep-16 21:51:30

Go on, you'll hopefully at least get a little while with her before she kicks you out. Enjoy flowers

pennygoodlife Sat 24-Sep-16 21:51:35

Aaaahhhh off you go sweetie, cuddle away, she's your baby still

Doyouthinktheysaurus Sat 24-Sep-16 21:52:08

That does sound tough.

I do shifts and after years of nights I did my first day shift yesterday. I saw the dc in the morning then left for work at 12 to finish at 9. Unfortunately I didn't finish until nearly 11 because of problems so missed seeing my dc's before bed. I was surprised how much it upset me. Ds2 (12) was a bit sad this morning, I did manage to see ds1 briefly as he was still awake. It was all very odd and made me feel a bit crap TBH.

It is hard. Must be harder with younger children who go to bed early. I hope you find the job you want soonthanks

RubbleBubble00 Sat 24-Sep-16 21:52:26

Ah it's awful. Couldn't dh waited to take them swimming so you could have had some time in the morning?

msgrinch Sat 24-Sep-16 21:54:24

I'm in the same boat and mine has chosen to go to an aunts party rather than have a rare day with me. Its so tough. Go cuddle your dd, give here an extra squeeze for me as i wish i was able to cuddle my boy tonight

FoxesSitOnBoxes Sat 24-Sep-16 21:56:24

flowers I've just gone back to work. DD and DS spend 10.5 hours at nursery then are picked up by a babysitter and I put them in bed when I get home. I've been putting them both in my bed and climbing in between them. It is hard.

NapQueen Sat 24-Sep-16 22:01:10

Rubble he was just being thoughtful "nap must really need her sleep so I'll take them out so they don't wake her" it came from a good place even if I'd have chosen it differently.

I get some good chunks of time with DS as he is only nearly 2 so we have all day when I'm on lates and I love the 1:1 with him but I didn't foresee how much this little time with dd would hit me.

We are all out as a family tomorrow for a good few hours so I will make her hold my hand the whole day she jokes

Dh is away mid October and I've specifically booked that time off and she is so so gonna be by bedtime buddy those nights.

DailyMailPenisPieces Sat 24-Sep-16 22:23:23

Oh, OP flowers. That sounds tough. I hope you can find a job that allows you to see her more.

I often moan about messing up my career by being a SAHM for quite a while, but your post makes me so grateful I had that time. It's not an easy position you are in. It''s to your credit she's secure enough not to need to be in your bed smile

Youarenotprepared Sat 24-Sep-16 22:24:50

Aww bless hope you can find a better job soon. My DS would still have all of the bedtime cuddles (and he does if one of us is away. I went away for 2 nights last year for a friends birthday and he was very insistent that he needed to sleep with daddy so he wouldn't be sad. I suspect daddy might have preferred the space!) but the girls won't.

NapQueen Sat 24-Sep-16 22:33:53

I'm am applying for everything in this pay bracket that would enable me to keep better hours. Don't get me wrong I'm thankful for being in work and it would be impossible for us to manage on dh's wage alone, so it is essential, it's just so hard.

maddiemookins16mum Sat 24-Sep-16 22:38:51

A lot of dads do/see that every day but I feel your pain.

CoffeeAtLukes Sat 24-Sep-16 22:43:12

Do it! God it must be hard for you.

I love cuddling up to my 6yo at night time. She feels so small yet so big at the same time.

NapQueen Sat 24-Sep-16 22:49:42

maddie dh works as a ta so is term time only and home 4.30 on work days. I'm super envious!

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