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Changing rooms...

(60 Posts)
HeirOfNothingInParticular Sat 24-Sep-16 18:33:30

My daughters best friend works in a high street store which sells mainly lingerie. A man came in and proceeded to tell her that he was a straight man but wore women's underwear. He then asked to try various items in the changing room. They only have women's changing rooms. Daughter's friend felt uncomfortable but checked with manager and they said go ahead, although they weren't that happy about it. He went off to try items, left without buying anything. When I was discussing it was the friend earlier, she said that she felt conflicted as her instinct was to not discriminate as she has friends who are gay, lesbian, non binary etc, etc, but felt that this man had another agenda... I'm inclined to agree with her.

Giratina Sat 24-Sep-16 18:37:52

Surely they shouldn't be letting people try bottom half underwear on for hygiene reasons anyway, bras ok but knickers no.

ShatnersBassoon Sat 24-Sep-16 18:39:09

What do you suppose his agenda was?

DementedUnicorn Sat 24-Sep-16 18:39:57

What exactly does other people's sexuality have to do with a strange man cross dressing?

Jasonandyawegunorts Sat 24-Sep-16 18:44:44

You are not allowed to try underwear on.

J0kersSmile Sat 24-Sep-16 18:45:33

You're allowed to try bras on but not pants.

rhiaaaaaaaannon Sat 24-Sep-16 18:47:36

Ew did he try the pants on? Gross.

I'm not sure what the answer is here tbh, I suppose everyone has a right to try on whatever clothes they want.

HeirOfNothingInParticular Sat 24-Sep-16 18:48:36

DementedUnicorn - nothing. She is fairly young woman. She has a mixed group of friends. She thinks that she is normally non judgemental (she definitely is) but this many made her feel uncomfortable. He didn't need to go into so much detail.

Jasonandyawegunorts Sat 24-Sep-16 18:49:15

Which high street store?

HeirOfNothingInParticular Sat 24-Sep-16 18:53:13

Jasonandyawegunorts - one that sells lingerie and other bits and bobs. Not on every high street, but quite common now

Jasonandyawegunorts Sat 24-Sep-16 18:54:02

You'd assume a highstreet store which has only female changing rooms would direct a man to the more appropriate male toilet to try things on.

Jasonandyawegunorts Sat 24-Sep-16 18:55:21


Giratina Sat 24-Sep-16 18:58:00

I'm thinking Ann Summers?

WinchesterWoman Sat 24-Sep-16 19:12:52

It's not really got anything to do with lesbian gay or non binary. He wanted to try women's underwear on in a women's changing room so a relatively public place and talk to the assistant about it? Sounds like he was getting a kick out of it - to say the least.

Mybeardeddragonjustdied2016 Sat 24-Sep-16 19:15:40


HeyNannyNanny Sat 24-Sep-16 19:17:46

What Winchester said. I'd love to admire his honesty, but to be honest it just comes across as a bit creepy. Not the whole wearing woman's underwear bit per se, but feeling the need to disclose and do it reasonably publicly. Its not like you can't buy these things online.

Jasonandyawegunorts Sat 24-Sep-16 19:23:25

Ann Summers?

aaaaah now that makes sense.

GardenGeek Sat 24-Sep-16 19:24:18

and can you imagine the horror of the young women when man could summon her to changing room for additional size; and standing in said underwear.

If she ignored him he could complain about lack of service.

We are on the slippery slope, in a decade it will be the case.

user1473537716 Sat 24-Sep-16 19:27:54

If they'd said no she might have gotten verbal abuse, accused of being phobic or the shop could have had the flurry of negative reviews and threats that follow saying no to men who want to do 'ladies things'. See the recent case of a man being offended that a female beautician wouldn't wax his genitals even though she wasn't trained to wax men.

Probably for the best she said yes, even though she was uncomfortable and thought he had a untoward agenda.

Coldilox Sat 24-Sep-16 19:28:11

Or he was a man who wanted to try on some items of clothing before he bought them. Knowing it was unconventional, he explained his situation and waited while she checked it was ok. He made no further fuss, and then chose not to purchase what he tried on.

Why assume he was being creepy? I have a cross dressing friend, nothing creepy about him. And yet plenty of people assume he must be a pervert.

TaterTots Sat 24-Sep-16 19:28:18

Not sure how this is a 'slippery slope' GardenGeek.

I'm confused. Was it a communal changing room? If yes, an obvious no. If it's individual cubicles, what's the issue?

WinchesterWoman Sat 24-Sep-16 19:31:24

But he doesn't need a bra. How would a bra fit him?

GardenGeek Sat 24-Sep-16 19:34:24

Daughter's friend felt uncomfortable but checked with manager and they said go ahead, although they weren't that happy about it.

I imagine if the man needed any assistance in the changing rooms; it would be the daughters job to assist. And if she didn't manager would not be pleased because even though they themselves weren't happy about it; they said go ahead for an easy life.

Not such an easy life for the daughter who was uncomfortable but hey who cares about her feelings.

KathArtic Sat 24-Sep-16 19:34:51

I would say the store needs to have policy regarding this, for the safety of staff and female customers, but also meets the needs of all customers.

TaterTots Sat 24-Sep-16 19:35:14

Shock news from Winchester Woman - cross-dressers don't need bras.

You just blew my freaking mind.

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