misphonia

[limitedperiodonly]

I have been educated about this through MN and realise it's a real thing and causes much distressment.

However, I believe my neighbour may be being an utter cunt.

I have lived here for 24 years and am pretty quiet. I live in a terrace with two neighbours at the front but because of the layout I have five neighbours at the back. He is one of them.

He yells at us for making noise. It is like the grave round here mostly, interspersed by noise of aircraft stacking to Gatwick and Heathrow about every 30 seconds. Sometimes people make dinner party noise - tinkly plates, laughter, MOR music - but that mostly in the summer. I like those sounds btw.

He's yelled at me a few times, mostly because I had the back door open and he could hear music. Once because my cat was in my garden and was yowling. 'If you don't shut that cat up, I'll fucking kill him' was what he said.

I apologised but the big mistake was saying: 'Do you think you have misphonia?'

He said no but had since come back and says he has. I think he's googled it.

[MitzyLeFrouf]

Threatening to kill your pet? He sounds like a cunt.

Neighbour noise is part and parcel of living in an urban area. I can identify with misophonia to an extent in that some eating sounds, sniffly sounds, and other bodily sounds can send me loopy. But that's my issue. I don't expect the world to stop making noise. He just sounds like miserable fucker who's trying to assert himself as the alpha male neighbour.

If you're confident the noise he's complaining is just everyday sounds then I'd avoid any further contact with this man. Except to threaten him with the police should a hair on your cat be harmed.

[ollieplimsoles]

Id make as much noise as possible in future.

[OhTallulah]

I had the back door open one late summer evening, about half eightish, the radio was on, I think I was washing up.
Aaanyway, next thing was Mrs next door was banging on our front door in a rage saying it was unacceptable.
Some people should go and live in a cave on top of a mountain.

[MitzyLeFrouf]

It's a bit like road rage. Normally reasonable people can whip themselves into a frantic hysteria.

If you want absolute quiet buy an underground bunker.

[MitzyLeFrouf]

That may be but it's not an excuse for this man's behaviour. If indeed he even suffers from misophonia.

[Bloopbleep]

I have misophonia. It's not just being annoyed at noise, it's that certain noises pain me and send me into an uncontrollable rage where. It is extremely inconvenient but it's not any noise but particular ones - most common is noisy eating.

That said having general sound sensitivity and noisy neighbours would be difficult. Maybe send him right move links to isolated rural properties?

[EttaJ]

Whatever he has wrong with him, threatening to kill your cat would ,if he was my neighbour, ensure him moving house as I would make him living there unbearable. Discreetly. How fucking dare he.

[MitzyLeFrouf]

The world is not going to become quiet so people with misophonia need to find strategies to cope. It sounds ridiculous but I have a visceral urge to scream and throw things when my colleague eats her morning apple but I don't, I get up and tend to a task at the other side of the office.

Whatever issues this man has he has no right to bawl and shout and threaten to kill pets.

[MitzyLeFrouf]

So basically OP, you don't need to modify your behaviour.

[MitzyLeFrouf]

Well it makes more sense than expecting the world to quieten down.

Anyway this thread isn't about you it's about the OP and her irrational neighbour.

[limitedperiodonly]

It's really quiet round here despite being in the middle of the city. You get aircraft noise every 30 seconds because we're under the flight path but you learn to ignore that.

I also hear the rumble of underground trains when I'm in bed but I kind of like that.

He just shouts at us and it gets me down. I've started being really conscious of making noise even though I'm not noisy.

There was my cat, who is a bit noisy - he's a yowly Siamese but he only does it a few times in the garden and then stops. Most people think it's funny. My other neighbours were making typical summer evening dinner party sounds - laughing, chatting, clinking, cheesy (low level) music. I like those sounds. He shouted at them.

Today my direct next door neighbour had a friend's little girl visiting who was making a noise in the garden - just loud giggling - and he yelled at her and made her cry. It was about 3pm. I heard her and she wasn't bothering me. That was what did it for me. They didn't say anything and took her in but I shouted at him to bog off. No reply.

[Bloopbleep]

I agree with Mitzy- I carry earplugs for unbearable situations. As much as I'd love the world to stfu it's a wee bit unreasonable for me to expect it.

[Bloopbleep]

Is he old OP? Could his behaviour be linked to dementia or similar?

[PickAChew]

I'm leaning on the side of cunt, only without the warmth and depth.

Basically a curmudgeonly git.

[limitedperiodonly]

Reading that back I realise other people have it far worse and this is a first world problem

It's just that I can't have the radio on (quietly) while I'm working with the door open in case the sound drifts out and annoys him. I am definitely expecting him to yell at me tomorrow if I have music on while I'm tidying up the garden for autumn. I suppose I could do without music but why should I?

He's a bully, isn't he? I should toughen up, shouldn't I?

[limitedperiodonly]

Bloopbleep He's in his 50s. So am I. My dad had dementia in his early 70s but it didn't manifest itself in that way. It could though, and I'd understand that. But I'm leaning towards my neighbour being a bit of a cunt.

I work part time and when I'm in the office I can be a bit loud because of the novelty of talking to other people. I understand how annoying this can be so I'm trying to curb my enthusiasm .