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To bother the teacher with this?

(23 Posts)
time2shine Sat 24-Sep-16 17:37:59

Dd is settling in well at the juniors school after having few friends at the infants school. She is a sensitive girl and I'm so pleased she seems to be making some good friends.

Classroom set up is four big tables of 7 and a table of two by teacher's desk. I am the first to admit that my daughter sometimes loses focus so this is probably why she has been put on the only table of two. However a boy who is quite disruptive has been put with her and she is really upset about it. She moans that he constantly burps in her face when she is trying to work.

I'm really wanting her to get on well at this school and it's been a wonderful fresh start for her. I know time in the classroom isn't for chatting - they're not really allowed to talk anyway. But am I being unreasonable for at least wanting her to have one girl next to her? She says all the other girls look happy sitting on mixed large tables and she just has this one boy next to her. I was going to go in and speak to her teacher but dh says I'm meddling. So I wanted a reality check. Thanks!!!

winchesterfan Sat 24-Sep-16 17:41:15

I would just speak to the teacher, explaining you are concerned that this boy your DD sits next too, is disruptive during class and making it difficult for your DD to complete her work, so could she be moved to a different table.
Don't just tell the teacher you want her say on the other table with her friends.

LouBlue1507 Sat 24-Sep-16 17:43:19

YABU - Most tables in schools are decided by ability e.g. Higher, middle, lower. Maybe your DD is sat where she is for extra support or because she's near the teacher who can keep her on track.

Whatsername17 Sat 24-Sep-16 17:44:24

Mention it. I'm a teacher, I'd sooner know.

LouBlue1507 Sat 24-Sep-16 17:44:25

If the child next to DD is disruptive, mention it to the teacher but im sure she/he already knows this.

anotherdayanothersquabble Sat 24-Sep-16 17:48:45

I would open it with 'I was wondering if there was a reason why DD is on the table closest to the teacher' and then explain about the disruption to her work.

redskytonight Sat 24-Sep-16 17:50:53

I would think it's unlikely to remain a permanent arrangement anyway. Most likely the teacher will use the table of 2 for whatever children she feels she needs to keep a particular eye on that time.

time2shine Sat 24-Sep-16 17:54:11

I think it's a permanent thing as she has been there since the start of term. This boy has only been sat there for three days so I feel it's a bit early to go in and cite him as the reason. But I feel if she's on a table of two at least put one child she likes beside her? Is that unreasonable?

Frusso Sat 24-Sep-16 18:09:51

is she definitely sitting on a table away form the other girls, or is it just dds word you have on this?

I only ask because a couple of years ago (when dd was in yr 3) she told me the exact same thing about being sat separate to everyone else, and a couple of times that she was doing different work. Dd was adamant about it, and didn't ever deviate of what she had told me,
I did go up to the school to enquire about it, and whilst the class room was set up with a table closer to the teacher, this wasn't where dd was actually sitting. she is equally someone who could do with focusing a bit more and chatting bit less, which is why i didn't question it when she first told me.

PacificOcean Sat 24-Sep-16 18:14:11

I would go and talk to the teacher about this and ask if there is a good reason for it. I can see why your DD would feel sad about this. Of course she shouldn't be chatting but it does feel a bit exclusive. Couldn't two of the big tables fit eight?

PurpleTango Sat 24-Sep-16 18:14:44

"I think it's a permanent thing as she has been there since the start of term. This boy has only been sat there for three days so I feel it's a bit early to go in and cite him as the reason. But I feel if she's on a table of two at least put one child she likes beside her? Is that unreasonable"

It sounds like your dd was put to sit on a table on her own at the start of term. Have you asked the teacher the reason for this?

m0therofdragons Sat 24-Sep-16 18:17:04

I would tell dd to speak to the teacher - it's exactly what my dd did on day 3. She'd been moved from her friends as another boy was misbehaving so he was swapped with dd. Dd moved from table at the front to one at the back with very lovely but chatty boys. Teacher listened to her and moved her. Now she's loving school and has more confidence as she sorted it herself (after she'd talked it through with me at home).

Nonameyet1 Sat 24-Sep-16 18:18:04

I'm a teacher, I would say raise your concerns but maybe say 'I just wondered if there was a reason why my child is sat on the table of two?' If you can, try not be defensive as this may make the teacher think your questioning her 'teaching' (and teaching can be tricky trying to make sure every child is happy!) But I would want to know if she was in my class. The reason might make perfect sense also.

time2shine Sat 24-Sep-16 18:25:17

Originally she was placed with another girl she liked but the boy was moved there because he was being disruptive on the bigger table. I know she is there because she often daydreams and needs to focus more. I'll have a chat with dd and see if she feels brave enough to speak to the teacher on her own. Thank you!

JustCallMeKate Sat 24-Sep-16 18:25:46

I have a table right in front of my desk where I sit children who are disruptive/unable to focus in groups/need extra help etc etc. I sit children there for a reason and it's not always possible to sit their friends next to them. Some children feel more secure sat right next to me and it's not always a negative reason. Sometimes children need a little bit extra nurturing and if they're closer to me it alleviates anxiety etc. If you're worried then speak to the teacher.

maddiemookins16mum Sat 24-Sep-16 18:32:59

I'd feel a bit peeved too actually, my DD would have hated anything like that as it makes you feel somewhat isolated from the rest of the group. She hated feeling different to the other girls.

Mummyoflittledragon Sat 24-Sep-16 18:40:00

I understand sometimes this is necessary and there may be a good reason and I'd definitely ask. A happy child is a productive child. I would want to ensure she's learning, otherwise what is the point in segregating her?

HanYOLO Sat 24-Sep-16 18:41:24

Really weird set up IMO

I'd go and have a casual chat with the teacher, & find out the reasoning.

YABU to expect your DD to get to pick who sits next to her (not quite what you said, but is the implication), but YANBU to want her to be seated in a more integrated way, especially if it is affecting her social confidence.

gandalf456 Sat 24-Sep-16 18:41:42

I have a low ability dd and second those who say she'd hate that kind of scenario. It's often done with the best of intentions but it sounds as if it's counterintuitive to what they're trying to do for your dd. It probably works for some, though, otherwise they would not do it. So, yes, if you think it is not helping then say so

Linpinfinwin Sat 24-Sep-16 18:48:54

Mention it.

Ours move every half term. I really don't think it's ability based or they are all wildly zigzagging in achievement! So one half term DD will get someone difficult but 5 other children will get that child later. They put them all in boy-girl pairs as far as poss too.

WuTangFlan Sat 24-Sep-16 18:49:52

I'd go in with the "the boy on DD's table keeps burping in DD's face" as the opening problem, and then let the "why is she on a table of two" come out as part of the conversation.

TeacherBob Sat 24-Sep-16 18:51:03

Speak to the teacher. If there is an issue that is bothering you, always talk to the teacher.

MsHoneyBee Sat 24-Sep-16 19:39:05

Has she spoken to the teacher? Please try and make sure this happens first. Its good practise for her to be able to speak for herself.
Also as PP have said, if she or you does speak to the teacher, make it about the burping in the face bit. As a teacher I can tell you she is almost definitely there for a reason, and whether or not she is sat with friends is irrelevant. Classrooms are for learning, not chatting!

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