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AIBU to be a bit down about this?

(68 Posts)
pinkamenadianepie Sat 24-Sep-16 16:48:59

My birthday is soon on a Friday and it looks like I'm going to be all alone.
My DD will be at school and my gf will be working 8-8.
I'm a bit down because my GF has booked her holiday at work for her birthday and the 10 days after, she could have used a day to keep me company or to do something special. To make matters worse she works Monday to Wednesday and has booked herself in for 4 hours at a spa the Thursday before and then has work the 3 days after.
Its not a special birthday mind, just another day really I guess.
Still is it a bit crap or AIBU and sensitive.

Heratnumber7 Sat 24-Sep-16 17:00:04

Oh grow up! Everyone has to work on their birthday/partner's birthday. Celebrate at the weekend like all adults do.

jeaux90 Sat 24-Sep-16 17:02:47

Go out with your mates and get drunk smile

Runningupthathill82 Sat 24-Sep-16 17:06:21

But she's only working til 8pm so you can still do something in the evening?

You surely didn't expect her to take the full day off. Who the hell takes annual leave for family birthdays?! I certainly never have, it would never occur to me.
Do something fun on your own during the day, then go for dinner/drinks whatever when your DP finishes work.

pinkamenadianepie Sat 24-Sep-16 17:08:19

No friends to go out with, not lived round here long, 3 hours from home town too.
Last year it was me working and her the SAHP, I booked her bday off as well as my own.

Drowzeee Sat 24-Sep-16 17:11:32

Did you tell her you would have liked her to book the day off? If not, it might not have occurred to her that yout might want to do something on the day.

pinkamenadianepie Sat 24-Sep-16 17:53:07

No I didn't, it was OK cause we had the Thursday when she was off. We could have done something then, last week she books in for 3 treatments at a day spa that's an hours drive away, I said about it being the day before my birthday and how I thought we do something but she said,
"Oh yeah, didn't even think about it, we've paid now"
We being her and her work colleague.

I know I'm just being daft, its just another day, but once school run is done I'll be sat alone until 3.15, doesn't seem right for a birthday iyswim. Maybe I'll get some MN Gin? grin

Runningupthathill82 Sat 24-Sep-16 18:02:27

I'll be sat alone until 3.15

WHY? You sound a bit needy and martyr-ish to say the least.

Why would you sit in on your own on your birthday? You could:
Go for a long run
Go to a museum
Go on a big walk up a hill
Go out for tea/coffee and cake
Get a day pass for a posh gym and mooch around the sauna/steam room/Jacuzzi...or do some fun classes
Go to a NT/ English Heritage place, have a walk, have a coffee, take some photos
Go into your nearest city, have a nice lunch with wine, mooch around the shops/galleries/parks/whatever...the lost goes on.

I mean, there is a LOT to do in a day on your own, and most of the best stuff doesn't even cost money. To say you'll just stay home alone is a tad pathetic IMO.

peppercold Sat 24-Sep-16 18:04:28

All dayer

NoFucksImAQueen Sat 24-Sep-16 18:07:44

Without all the extra info yabu but with it yanbu. She's booked 11 days off for her birthday is that right?

FriedPisces Sat 24-Sep-16 18:10:34

I understand where you're coming from, it's nice to feel like someone wants to spend time with you on your birthday and if you make the effort for them it feels a bit disheartening when they don't make the same effort for you. My favourite ever birthday though was my most recent. I was on my own in the day and went to town and treated myself to a load of things I really wanted, bought a nice lunch and fancy cream cakes for everyone when they got home. Spent time with DC after school and then went out to a restaurant I'd fancied for ages with DH. Do domething you want to do, embrace it and enjoy yourself.

TaliDiNozzo Sat 24-Sep-16 18:14:14

OP, you've had some unnecessarily mean comments on this thread.

It's my birthday soon and while I cherish time alone I know not everyone does. You have the right to feel upset about this. It sounds like your DP is being selfish, albeit likely not intentionally or with any malice.

pinkamenadianepie Sat 24-Sep-16 18:16:45

Her birthday is a month after mine. Her days off from work start in her birthday and then she's used all her holidays to extend it to 10conse utive days off. On her birtjhday she wants to go to tjhe city for the day shopping, the day after she wants me to drive her to our home town, drop her off and drive home with DD. then on her last day off im too drive back down and pick her up to bring her back ready for work the next day.

Coffeethrowtrampbitch Sat 24-Sep-16 18:19:13

I know how you feel, it was my birthday a couple of weeks ago and dh had just started a new job so could not get time off.
My youngest dc has just started school so it was just me all day, until my mum offered to meet me for lunch.

But I decided to have a great time and I did, favourite breakfast made in peace, long dog walk with my favourite music, then shopping until lunch.

You must be a bit upset that your dp has booked her own birthday off and not yours, so could you book something nice for when she finishes work, dinner out if your dd is old enough. If not, could you take dd for tea or an earlier dinner somewhere you can have fun together?

I hope you have a good day and do something fun.

FeralBeryl Sat 24-Sep-16 18:22:01

God some people are unnecessarily harsh today hmm
Lots of people place great emphasis on their birthdays including OP's partner.
^ ^ Just because you don't - doesn't mean you can't show a little empathy. It's clearly the done thing in their family.

OP tell her she's been selfish in comparison to her expectations for her own special day. Don't just sulk and expect her to guess, she's clearly a bit thick skinned about the issue.

Can you go out for tea with DD?
I took the DD3 for lunch yesterday and it was lovely just the two of us.
Failing that-start the Friday Drunk Thread on here a bit early and spend it with us lot!

Nonameyet1 Sat 24-Sep-16 18:26:53

I agree with Tali.
YANBU. You partner should want to spend your birthday with you and I'd be feeling a bit down too. I'd try talking it through as sounds like you should tell her how you are feeling to see if you can come up with a solution.

Goingtobeawesome Sat 24-Sep-16 18:28:03

You don't have to do all that driving if you don't want too.

pinkamenadianepie Sat 24-Sep-16 18:32:32

The conversation was had before she went to work earlier, she's right that there's little she can do, she's working and the spa is paid for. So that's kind of that.

As for not doing all that driving, I have too, she can't drive and wants to see her family for her birthday.

FlyingElbows Sat 24-Sep-16 18:33:24

Yeah it's a bit crap but you'll live. I'll be on my own on my birthday too if it makes you feel any better. I'll just do some ironing and talk to the dog or something. Your oh sounds a teeny bit self interested though so I can see why you're a bit miffed.

Mypurplecaravan Sat 24-Sep-16 18:33:57

It can be isolating being a sahp.

What do you want to do on your birthday? Will she mark it in some other way?

But Yabu to expect her to guess you want her to book time off if you don't tell her.

Branleuse Sat 24-Sep-16 18:34:29

can you go to the day spa with her and have a massage or something

Ninasimoneinthemorning Sat 24-Sep-16 18:37:29

Yeah I'd be a bit put out too.

Maybe she could have thought a little about your birthday too seen as there has been a lot of consideration put in to hers.

Did you say you wanted to do anything?

I literatly have to do an itinerary for Dh if I want something planning as he is oblivious and it saves upset grin

How old is your dd?

pinkamenadianepie Sat 24-Sep-16 18:37:44

I don't know what to dpo th a birthday. Its the first birthday I haven't had to work for a long time. I might just take DD to Taybarns after school. Chuck the diet out the window grin

Ninasimoneinthemorning Sat 24-Sep-16 18:38:36

It can be isolating being a sahp

This!!^

Ginslinger Sat 24-Sep-16 18:38:47

I think birthdays are important if they're important to you and I think that some of the comments here are pretty nasty and unkind.

OP - it might be more helpful to have a frank conversation with your GF and explain what you would like and how hurt you feel. Sometimes I think we expect people to just 'know' but they don't always. It's okay to tell your partner what you want.

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