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To expect the kids to be picked up after?

(155 Posts)
RavioliOnToast Fri 23-Sep-16 18:33:51

My dfil has had both DDs 4(in school until 3pm) and 19mo today and Wednesday. Wednesday he took them to McDonald's for tea, when I came home (approx 2 hours after they'd eaten) to McDonald's bags all over the kitchen, empty happy meal boxes, half used pots of ketchup all over the kitchen table and food on the floor. Today, again (approx 2 hours after they'd eaten) I came back to food on plates and all over the floor, trailed through the passage into the living room, empty food boxes all over the kitchen. Now I don't even expect him to do the dishes but aibu in thinking he should have put the wrappers/discarded food into the bin and swept up after them? Youngest DD had emptied older DDs school bag all over the floor so there was uniform and homework all over and he'd just left it? Am I bang out of order being a bit pussed off?

RavioliOnToast Fri 23-Sep-16 18:34:36

Sorry my title probably isn't clear...

J0kersSmile Fri 23-Sep-16 18:35:02

If it's free childcare then that's the price you pay. Suck it up or pay for proper childcare.

RavioliOnToast Fri 23-Sep-16 18:35:04

Oh and he'd made kievs for tea and the butter had leaked off the bench all over the washing machine and had been left there...

J0kersSmile Fri 23-Sep-16 18:36:04

Honestly you had free childcare and they got fed. Stop being so ungrateful.

Littlepeople12345 Fri 23-Sep-16 18:36:15

3 children are hard work and if your 4 year olds aren't tidying up after eating then no I wouldn't expect him to do it. Same with their bags, they should have been put away.

ImYourMama Fri 23-Sep-16 18:36:19

Sorry but I agree, free childcare means you get what you pay for

TeaBelle Fri 23-Sep-16 18:36:36


Hullygully Fri 23-Sep-16 18:38:22

You'll get a lot of people saying how unreasonable you are, pay for someone to look after your kids, you should be grateful for his help blahblahblah

but it takes four seconds to stuff boxes into a bin liner and anyone with half a brain, an ounce of kindness and a smidge of competence would do so.

Anyone suggesting she's being unreasonable should think about whether they would leave that crap lying about. No, they wouldn't, or if they cheerfully admit they would, they need to have a weeny little think about themselves.

AliceInHinterland Fri 23-Sep-16 18:38:48

Right, but most people would clear up out of common courtesy. It was rude of him to leave such a mess in my opinion.

arethereanyleftatall Fri 23-Sep-16 18:39:58

Depends entirely on whether you pay him for this childcare.
If no, yab massively unreasonable and ungrateful. Your only acceptable response is 'thanks so much for today'.
If you're paying the going rate, yanbu.

Hullygully Fri 23-Sep-16 18:39:59

And bingo.

RavioliOnToast Fri 23-Sep-16 18:41:29

And I've just burned myself in th job that has been left on for the last 2 hours

Hullygully Fri 23-Sep-16 18:42:55

So all you lot that want paying, if you looked after someone's kids as a favour, you'd be perfectly happy to leave rubbish everywhere?

RavioliOnToast Fri 23-Sep-16 18:43:05

Really? I wouldn't dream of leaving anyone's house like that. I have 2dds

arethereanyleftatall Fri 23-Sep-16 18:43:31

Fuck. Now that's a different matter.

ThroughThickAndThin01 Fri 23-Sep-16 18:44:34

Don't agree hully. You aren't paying for childcare = you can't order how things are done - safety excepted.

Pay a childminder OP

Foxsox Fri 23-Sep-16 18:45:44

it's common courtesy to clean up after yourself irrespective of whether it's free childcare or not.
That's just rude and those eating YABU are mad!
Would you genuinely leave someone's house in a mess because you were doing them a favour?

JakeBallardswife Fri 23-Sep-16 18:46:44

No, I think he needs to do the basics. Prob not washing up but he could clear the bags or get Dd's to and put them in the recycling. Then wipe up the butter that was over the washing machine or just shove all plates in the sink . Maybe he doesn't do anything for himself?

No, yanbu, I would not leave crap everywhere if I'd looked after a family member's children. He should at least have got the 4 year olds to help tidy up the mess.

RavioliOnToast Fri 23-Sep-16 18:48:48

He never usually babysits to be honest. When I start my new job properly I'll be one day a week and a night so we won't need childcare as DH can switch his days off. It's just while I'm doing my training that he offered to lend a hand cause it's 2 weeks full time.

WankersHacksandThieves Fri 23-Sep-16 18:50:41

How old is fil? Is he struggling to cope?

If you'd posted saying you had three children under 5 and were exhausted and couldn't face clearing up and then were upset because in your tiredness you'd let the hob on by accident, you'd have people falling over themselves to tell you to be "kind to yourself" about how exhausting it is etc.

And I'm sure most mothers of 3 under 5s will be a lot younger than your fil.

RavioliOnToast Fri 23-Sep-16 18:51:58

I have 2 DDs , what I meant is one is 4, one 19months.

Fil is 55ish I believe

wayway13 Fri 23-Sep-16 18:52:55

My DF is the same. If I need him to watch DD for a couple of hours then I have to take her out first to tire her out in order for her to sit quietly and watch cartoons with him. There are usually toys/cups/wrappers everywhere when I get back. Any toys that are tidied away are not in the correct place so there are bits missing when we next play with them.

Tbh, it really doesn't bother me. He's doing me a favour and he does his best (my mum always did everything for him/us so this is really his first experience of childcare!).

somekindofmother Fri 23-Sep-16 18:54:07

I don't think it's unreasonable to expect a bit of picking up. I babysit for a friend for free. I wouldn't leave her house a state, because whilst she doesn't pay me I do actually respect and like her and want her to come home to a house that is at least in a similar state to how she left it....

maybe he can't really cope?

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