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To be annoyed with dh re gift giving?

(10 Posts)
muddypuddled Fri 23-Sep-16 12:51:28

So we have a busy time of year for birthdays, mil, my dad, my nephew, dd and dh. I am always the one who sorts out gifts for both sides of the family. We don't have loads of money at the moment as I am in the last week of my may leave and have therefore not been paid for the last 3 months.

For mil I got a nice reed diffuser (she likes that sort of thing), a box of chocolates and a frame photo of the dc from a photo shoot our friend did for us. I thought that was enough. My dad, nice biscuits, a jumper and grandad socks from the kids. All of a sudden dh thinks mil presents are not enough and that I'm being mean and has gone and spent another £20 on some crap. Bear in mind for Christmas last year, he gave me an afternoon tea for two (which he benefitted from) and a cd of some bloke I'd never heard of but apparently he likes. AIBU to think that he should sort his own gifts out if I'm not doing it well enough and that he is the 'mean' one not me??

passingthrough1 Fri 23-Sep-16 12:54:14

Yes he should sort it himself but I don't think you can stop it now you've started can you? My MIL birthday recently and she got exactly nothing ... I hope she's enlightened enough to blame her own son and not me! Also jeez, what you got sounds really nice and definitely "enough".

HarryPottersMagicWand Fri 23-Sep-16 12:59:37

YANBU. Don't do his side of the family. I don't as I made suggestions before for DH as he was always at a loss, MIL made it quite obvious it was shit so I refused to help. Now she's lucky if he remembers and it's usually a cheap box of chocolates or possibly a tenner in a card.

Just because we are women doesn't mean present buying should be our responsibility.

mouldycheesefan Fri 23-Sep-16 13:02:12

Yes each do your own side of the family. Sounds like he would per that and is happy to do it. So you stop doing it. Agree a budget if necessary.

muddypuddled Fri 23-Sep-16 13:03:33

Thank you, I've told him several times that I won't be doing it and end up giving in. He says she needs more because she 'loves opening presents'. She's 62 not 2!! Oh and the but you're at home all the time excuse gets thrown in too! angry

Arfarfanarf Fri 23-Sep-16 13:03:38

I think he just volunteered to take over gifts for his entire family from now on.
And you absolutely can stop doing it any time you want, for any reason. You're not under contract.

fuzzywuzzy Fri 23-Sep-16 13:05:41

Just tell him he's doing his family as according to him you don't do it right. The end.

Kr1stina Fri 23-Sep-16 13:06:37

What mouldy said

Returning from maternity leave can be tricky to manage as lots of women get in the habit of doing all the housework and childcare . So you need to make sure that you stop doing this now you are going back to work .

Wifework ( like present buying, social events, Christmas etc ) are often things that women get stuck with .

RandomMess Fri 23-Sep-16 13:26:34

Use your backbone.

"DH I am hurt by your attitude so from now on you can do your family and I'll do mine" then ensure you also tell DH's family so if he makes a mess of it they know it's his mistake.

Seriously he managed before he had a wife (or not) so he can grow up and do his own!

RaptorInaPorkPieHat Fri 23-Sep-16 13:28:43

I'd put your gifts aside for xmas and let him give his DM his crap choices.

And then look smug when she opens it and does the WTF face. I'm evil

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