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to think this isn't bad hosting?

(145 Posts)
lalalalyra Thu 22-Sep-16 22:00:36

We had a relative of DH's staying. Well, I say we, but really it's me as DH is working away for 12 weeks. It was a last minute thing, they were at a conference for 4 days and were meant to be staying with PIL, but FIL's health has left him not really up to guests at the moment.

We've juggled round rooms so he had a comfortable room with a desk, tv etc and an en suite (my two 13yos left their room for 4 days to facilitate this). I made a dinner for him each night and left it in the oven. When he arrived I showed him where everything was and said to help himself at any time.

I don't drink tea or coffee so I'm shit at remembering to offer after the first cup when people arrive. Everyone knows to just help themselves though.

I've picked him up twice when there were train issues and I made sure the kids didn't annoy him in the mornings at breakfast.

He left this morning and drove home after his conference and I'm bloody fuming at a "jokey" (but obviously barbed) comment about staying in a hotel the next time as he'd actually get a cup of tea occasionally and his ironing done! Ungrateful shit!

However, in my moan to my friend she let slip that actually she thinks not offering cups of tea and coffee to guests isn't good. I always do when people first arrive, but tbh I just think 'make it your home' and happily let guests get on with it. No one has ever commented negatively before but I'm wondering if they are all secretly thinking I'm a shit host.

In my defence I'm juggling 6 kids and a new au pair (first ever au pair as have baby that needs lots of medical appointments) at the moment so making tea and coffee isn't high on the agenda

Alabastard Thu 22-Sep-16 22:02:21

Wow, he sounds like a cunt.

You did far more than was necessary. It's not difficult to boil a kettle. You are not a waitress.

YelloDraw Thu 22-Sep-16 22:02:57

Um, what a fucking twat. That is all.

Sirzy Thu 22-Sep-16 22:03:00

Is there a reason he can't plug in the kettle or iron himself?

Hopefully next time he does stay in a hotel so you don't have to put yourself out for someone so ungreatful

HunterHearstHelmsley Thu 22-Sep-16 22:03:42

His ironing?!

lastqueenofscotland Thu 22-Sep-16 22:03:52

Oh my god what a cunt.

I had to stay with PIL for work recently and I'd have felt embarrassed if they'd done as much for me as you did! I was more than happy with the spare room and "help yourself" !

sentia Thu 22-Sep-16 22:04:27

Send him an accommodation bill, with a small discount for ironing and caffeine not provided.

Jimbob1 Thu 22-Sep-16 22:05:37

Ungrateful! I think if you are staying for more than a few hours you should expect to be helping yourself after the first one has been offered.

mintthins Thu 22-Sep-16 22:06:39

I am actually gobsnacked. He is a rude and ungrateful idiot. flowers

SabineUndine Thu 22-Sep-16 22:07:33

He's a wanker. I'd be inclined to send him a bill

ollieplimsoles Thu 22-Sep-16 22:07:50

I made sure the kids didn't annoy him in the mornings at breakfast

Fuck that. And they gave up their rooms for him. Id never do that to my kids in their own house.

LineyReborn Thu 22-Sep-16 22:08:03


MovingOnUpMovingOnOut Thu 22-Sep-16 22:08:46

He can fuck off to a hotel and do you all a favour.

Do his ironing? Wtf?

What exactly did he do to help? Did he bring a gift or pitch in and help?

If he expects hotel treatment he pays for the privilege and stays in one.

KP86 Thu 22-Sep-16 22:10:16

Holy fuck. Ironing?!

And you have six OTHER (7, including him, apparently) children you were wrangling by yourself already?

What a rude prick. Bloody hell, he should be grateful for the bed and falling over himself to help YOU, not the other way around.

Marylou2 Thu 22-Sep-16 22:10:50

shock Tell him to leave you a review on Trip Advisor. Oh that's right, you're not actually running a hotel. He is a total arse.

perrita Thu 22-Sep-16 22:11:06

He sounds like a knob. But also I hate this societal pressure to be constantly offering cups of tea and coffee in your own home to other people all the time! Drives me barmy, in laws are tea obsessed and would have another as soon as their first is finished. I don't get it, surely it's not good for you.

SpeakNoWords Thu 22-Sep-16 22:11:15

6 children including a baby with lots of medical appointments? On your own? This relative should be bloody grateful you let him stay at all! He should be embarrassed that he didn't help you out more, not the other way around. What an entitled twit. As to the ironing comment.... wow.

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut Thu 22-Sep-16 22:11:51

Of course even a hotel doesn't do your ironing unless you pay for a shirt or laundry service. They lend you an iron and board.

Not that that is the point. The point is he's a massive twat.

eurochick Thu 22-Sep-16 22:12:49

In a hotel you either make your own cup of tea in your room or pay through the nose to have someone bring one to you. And the same goes for ironing. Aside from the fact that he doesn't seem to understand how hotels work, he's a cheeky fucker!

lalalalyra Thu 22-Sep-16 22:12:52

ollie I meant more the 8yo and 3yo. The older kids aren't annoying. The 3yo has a habit of badgering people to play snap, which annoys anyone at breakfast!

Thanks all. I'm not bothered about him so much, he can stay in a hotel next time, but my friend gas pissed me off. I thought "make yourself at home" was a good thing for friends and family. Not I feel like shit host of the group! (Although we meet more at my house than the other houses in the group so can't be that bad)

KingJoffreysRestingCuntface Thu 22-Sep-16 22:13:28

<Tries to imagine asking someone with six children to make me tea.>


Did he pay? Or was this all free?

RiverTam Thu 22-Sep-16 22:14:16

He sounds like a twat.

But - I would feel very uncomfortable about helping myself unless I knew my host very well indeed. I wouldn't say anything but that's how I would feel.

MrsHam13 Thu 22-Sep-16 22:15:00

Yeah I'm also totally shit at offering tea and coffee and I certainly wouldn't be offering them for four days to someone who wasn't even actually a guest but who you were actually doing a favour for. Did he leave you a thank you card, chocolates, flowers??

He sounds like a sexist man child.

KP86 Thu 22-Sep-16 22:15:22

I would say (and genuinely mean) please help yourself to whatever you can find.

Like you, I'm absolutely terrible at remembering to offer drinks unless I'm getting one myself.

Still can't get over it.

Rainbunny Thu 22-Sep-16 22:16:17

Wow! Not that it's relevant, I'm just being nosey I suppose but is he an older man? Possibly from the generation where the "little woman" would stay at home and run around serving the menfolk? Not that it would remotely make his comment ok, I just can't believe a man under 40 maybe saying such a thing unless he was trying to be funny and it came out all wrong?

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