AIBU for wanting to re-home my cat?(118 Posts)
Let me preface this by saying that I'm already ashamed of myself for feeling like this and am really hoping for constructive advice and opinions, so please don't flame me.
We have a cat who has been with us since we took her in as a stray 10 years ago. We don't know exact age, Vet estimates about 16. About 18 months ago she started having accidents. At first it was just a couple of times a week but this has gradually gotten worse and she is now urinating all over the floor every day, several times a day. She still manages to poo in the litter tray most of the time, but will not wee in the tray at all. The Vet (after several costly investigations) has been unable to find any medical cause for this and says it's "just old age" and there's nothing they can do. We've tried different litter trays, different types of litter etc, nothing has helped.
We have had to restrict her to the dining room and kitchen as these are the only areas of the house that aren't carpeted and she gets quite upset at not being allowed in the lounge with us. We spent quite a lot of money decorating the dining room (it's a lovely big room with a nice view) but now don't use it at all and can't have guests over to eat in there as the floor is covered with puppy training pads and I cannot get the smell of cat wee out no matter how many times I scrub the floors, spray febreeze etc.
We both work full time and have a 2.5 yo DD (planning on TTC no 2 next year) and this situation with the cat is starting to become a major stress. Every morning we come downstairs to the stench of cat wee and a frantic clean up job before work. I then come home from work to the same foul smell and another clean up job (I am out of the house for 9 hours, DH for longer, so there will have been several accidents) and if we have visitors I get all self-conscious as I feel like my house always smells no matter how hard I try to disguise it.
I am very fond of the cat and I know none of this is her fault but it's really getting me down. I've started to think maybe it would be best to re-home her (although I doubt we would even be able to find anyone willing to take her in given her age and incontinence) but then I feel like a horrible person for even thinking about it .
I just don't know what else to do
I know its really tough (and i know i'm probably setting myself up for a slaying on here!)
but i think the kindest thing would be to put her to sleep. Cats are very clean animals and she won't be any more happy about the situation than you are! It will be horrible at the time but from previous experience a real relief once you've made the decision. Good luck
I don't think you're horrible that would stress most people out. But as you said in your OP, you won't find anyone to take her. Practically speaking she is 16 and won't be around much longer so you will just have to deal with it I guess.
And you will get loads of shit on here as a warning so put your hard hat on. Which is interesting because I bet if you said your incontinent grandparent was peeing all over your house you'd have no one say you were a bad person for putting her in a home.
Sounds like it is just at old age. If her quality of life has deteriorated I'd have her put to sleep. No one will rehome at her age with her issues
At 16 years of age she would be impossible to rehome
Especially if incontient
You can't rehome an animal just because they are old.
All you can do is ride it out really. Or pts. Which would be cruel to do if it's just wee
Well you can't rehome her really, can you? You'd just be taking her to a shelter to live out the last of her days.
I'm not sure what the solution is but rehoming wouldn't be an option for me.
I'm wondering if they are any different than normal baby nappies but with a hole cut through for the tail.
Well at 16 and incontinent I don't like your chances of being able to re home her.
It will be miserable for the cat top to be incontinent and unable to access most the house.
If all medical causes have been ruled out and you have tried all relevant meds/foods etc I'm not sure there's much more you can do.
I'll get flamed fir this but I'd not want her in a shelter fir what is likely to be a very long time, maybe even the rest of her life.
Maybe it would be kinder to pts
I would make sure everything had been tried and ruled out first though
Rehoming isn't an option. B cause it just won't happen.
Your other options are deal with or pts .
Personally I couldn't put a cat to sleep, just because it was old.
But it's not my decision to make.
No you can't rehome her.
Care for her in her old age or put her to sleep, it would be cruel to move her now.
You will never get the wee smell out of the carpets so it might be worth considering getting rid of them and covering the floors with a cheap wood effect lino or something as a temporary measure until you can recarpet? This way she can be with you and not ruin your stuff.
Which is interesting because I bet if you said your incontinent grandparent was peeing all over your house you'd have no one say you were a bad person for putting her in a home.
Not very comparable, is it? She'd also get no suggestions that the grandparent be euthanized!
I agree that putting the cat to sleep would be kinder than rehoming at this point - there's essentially zero chance of someone taking her so you'd just be condemning her to living a pretty miserable life in a shelter; I think she's too old to adjust to that and make new bonds.
If she's incontinent then pts. No question.
She won't be re-homed. Shelters are full. Noone's going to choose the 16 year old cat that pees all over the carpet.
What about an outdoor pen for when you're at work?
How is her health otherwise? There won't be too much longer to go before nature takes its course, or she reaches a point where you can have her PTS with a clear conscience at that age anyway.
Poor kitty. Cat pee is awful though. It's difficult to say the least.
i wish people would stop thinking of being pts as the worst thing that can happen to an animal.
I sadly think pts is the only option too really if you've investigated medical and behavioural causes. Does she go outside or is she an indoor car? Does she act confused like she's lost her marbles? Presumably you've tried all the usual solutions such as cleaning thoroughly with bio laundry powder to eradicate the smell; pheromone plug ins etc...
You have had her ten years, how can you be so cruel to consider letting her live her last days out in a shelter or with strangers. I have a rescue cat we were told she was 18 months when we took her she was actually 6 now she is 10, she is a vicious fucker but I couldn't rehome her as I know it would end in her being put to sleep as she is 10. I couldn't do that to a pet if had 10 years, you knew a pet came with mess.?
I agree bert
Living in one room of a house that stinks of cat piss unable to control your bladder will be miserable for a cat. They are clean animals.
Shelters are miserable places too.
She's old and had a life where she's been loved and cared for and been happy.
I'd try an outdoor pen as well, if it's nice and cozy she'll get used to it and she probably spends her days sleeping anyway.
Oh come on reg you eclectic the odd accident or a few things being scratched or chewed.
A far cry from several accidents on a daily basis.
That's not mess that's a quality of life issue
Thank you for your replies.
I have no experience with shelters/re-homing etc. so it's helpful to have confirmation from others that, as I thought, finding another home for her is not a realistic option.
Saucy, will think about an outdoor pen. She has a cat flap and used to love being outside but for the past few months hasn't been interested at all so not sure whether this would distress her. I would also be worried about the cold weather but will have a think about it.
Unfortunately we cannot afford to have all the flooring replaced anytime soon (even with cheap stuff as a temp measure as has been suggested) because there are other essential repairs that need doing elsewhere in the house.
I really don't think you can rehome. I adopted our cat who was almost 11 from a centre, but he's still active and independent. He had been there a long long time waiting to be rehomed, and the centre acted like I was an angel from heaven for finally choosing him. If he was incontinent he would have had no chance.
It's rough though, I can't argue with that. We had a dog who was forever accidentally pooing indoors in old age
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