Posting here for traffic, regular user NC to ask if you're a GP, how do you really feel when you're asked to babysit of an evening for your very young GC, the kind of babysitting where you're sat watching tv in someone else's house whilst the parents are out? How often is too often? Where do you draw the line on saying no, do you ever feel like you're obliged to do it because it's hard to say no or feel like people are over imposing on you? How do you manage when you have multiple DC yourself each of whom has GC and you're the only family support for both? Do you do more for one than another, less for both or inevitably double the amount, does it get difficult to manage between your own DC and ILs (eg what do you do if they try to book you on same night?!)
Background - we have two very young (and very easy going, routine happy) preschool DC. My DDDDDDF died and my DM is unwell and lives a long way away so I can't ask my family for help. My PILs are local and very kind, loving generous people who love our DC dearly and always say I should ask for help when I need it. However, I have over the last 18m worked hard to build up a network of trusted babysitters so we don't over rely on PILs, recognising that they have their own lives. But I think I've offended them by asking other people to babysit their GC and not them in the evenings, when really it's just a case of sitting watching tv. The reason I started to do this was not because I felt they couldn't do it (they're great) but because I felt like I had offended them by asking too much (on that occasion two evenings in a fortnight).
So AIBU to think that there is a line, and if there is... Please tell me where yours is and how you really feel about helping out or other people looking after your DC so I can gauge if AIBU with the set up we have. I just assumed they would rather spend time with the kids awake than asleep!
For full disclosure I am a sahm and never ask them for childcare in the week, only over to play / spend time / have a meal, for same main reason - I don't want to over impose.
It would be different if it were my own parents, it's times like this I miss them terribly and wish that they were able to enjoy the kids as much as I know they would have done.
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AIBU?
AIBU to ask GPs how much babysitting is too much?
31 replies
confusedofDILdom · 19/09/2016 18:22
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