Posting for a friend.
My friend's ex hasn't seen their two boys (10 and 8) for 8 months now. They have been split up for 4 years now and he saw them regularly and then one day after an argument over him treating the child he had with the OW better than his boys, he said he couldn't cope with her anymore and just stopped seeing them.
She received financial help in dribs and drabs when he 'could afford it' and never went to the CMS. He had agreed to pay her £100 for both boys but rarely actually gave her that amount and missed a lot of months. After 4 months of him not seeing them she decided to go to the CMS and they calculated that he should be paying £230 a month.
Anyway suddenly he is saying he will only start seeing the boys if she stops the CM. He phoned the youngest boy on his birthday and told him that their mum had stopped him seeing them which of course was a total lie but the boys now blame my friend and she feels awful. She hasn't done anything wrong apart from perhaps confront him when he was being a crap father and leaving the boys out etc. He is the one who has walked away and she has tried to get him to see the boys but he blocked her number.
His mum is on his side and phoned my friend the other day to say how ridiculous it all was and that my friend was putting money before the boys and if she just stopped the CM then the boys could see their dad. She made out my friend was the bad one in all this.
She is stressed out and is considering closing the case with the CMS to ensure the boys see their dad but personally I think he is just using the CM as an excuse and have advised her not to give into him. He is legally required to pay for them whether he sees them or not and I don't think it's fair she is being made to feel like a money grabber for getting what she is entitled to.
She has told him that if he starts seeing the boys again and having them overnight then she will adjust the CM but he refuses this and says he will wait for a letter to say it's stopped before he starts seeing the boys.
I am biased because she is my friend so I am obviously on her side but she would like an outsiders point of view. Who is BU? Any advice for her?
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AIBU?
Who is BU, my friend or her ex?
43 replies
IveGotCheese · 19/09/2016 16:02
OP posts:
Arfarfanarf ·
19/09/2016 16:26
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Message withdrawn at poster's request.
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