AIBU to get annoyed?

[ecayres]

AIBU?
My ex had our 7yr old son for the weekend, they went to a park and while there an approx. 4 yr old asked our son if he could hold his sword, my son said no.
My ex told me about it a little while ago starting the convo off in front of our son with ' ds did something a little bit mean today'. After explaining what had occurred I got a little bit pissed off because he had basically told our kid he was mean for not letting the other kid have his sword. The ex then tried to further justify this by saying the other kid was special needs and had asked nicely, when asked what he'd say if the situation was reversed he replied ' it's up to the kid'.... so if it's OK for the other kid to say no then why is ours 'mean'?
Don't get me wrong, I encourage sharing but I also think it's OK for a kid to not want to, I want ds to feel ok with saying 'no' without being guilt tripped.
Apparently I'm in the wrong for being pissed off that he handled the situation wrongly and also said ds was mean in front of him.
Also to clarify our ds is also special needs (autism) and we're supposedly both in agreement that this doesn't get ds free passes for behaviour or an excuse for privilege.

[WhooooAmI24601]

I think you're both a little U for being worked up over this. Your DS doesn't have to share if he doesn't want to. It's not mean, just that he didn't want to. Your Ex was U for calling him mean, and you're being U criticising how he handled a situation because ultimately he's in charge when he has your DS.

[redexpat]

Yes, quite annoying that a. he doesn't respect your son's wishes, b. that he has double standards and c. said that your son was mean in his earshot.

You do seem overly pissed off. Is there a massive backstory? Do you normally get on?

[FreddyFireflyCanFeckOff]

YANBU. I get it. I would also argue that your ex isn't being unreasonable either though.

You both want your son to thrive personally and socially, but have different opinions about how to achieve this.