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to think this is weird

(51 Posts)
GatherlyGal Sun 18-Sep-16 12:58:57

Dnephew is 14. Middle and apparent favourite DC of DBIL. Every time we see them at some point DNephew sits on his dad's knee (getting difficult what with him being 14) or stands beside his dad and DBIL tickles his arms and neck with the tips of his fingers. He does it while chatting to someone else so it doesn't exactly interrupt what's going on iyswim but once it starts it goes on for ages.
It makes ne feel quite queasy and I have to look away. Of course when he was a toddler it was cute but now it just looks so wrong. I don't care what happens at home but in a restaurant, cinema etc AIBU to find it odd?

Duckafuck Sun 18-Sep-16 13:00:37

They're father and son and have a close relationship. What's really your concern here?

Mybeardeddragonjustdied2016 Sun 18-Sep-16 13:02:16

Wonder if he would do that when he had friends over?? I can see it being a bit cringey in public!!

ElsaAintAsColdAsMe Sun 18-Sep-16 13:02:58

I think it says more about you that you have to look away when a father and son are being affectionate tbh confused

GatherlyGal Sun 18-Sep-16 13:03:23

I don't have a concern as such it just makes me uncomfortable. Of course maybe it is just me that has a problem. I'd never say anything it just looks odd that's all now that DN is almost as big as his dad.

treaclesoda Sun 18-Sep-16 13:04:04

I think it's weird but probably not in the way you think. What I think is weird is that you feel queasy about it.

I'd say it's fairly unusual for a 14 year old to want to sit on his dad's knee but then again some 14 year olds are still quite young.

Unless there is going to be a massive drip feed and you tell us that there is inappropriate touching taking place then YABU

OurBlanche Sun 18-Sep-16 13:06:31

Crikey! You have a problem with a father and son who have a close relationship. That says so much more about you than them!

Most of my male cousins have similar relationships with their dads, even now, in their 40s and 50s!

Buzzardbird Sun 18-Sep-16 13:08:49

I cannot see for the life of me, what is wrong with that. I wish all Fathers were so affectionate with their children. He obvioulsy finds it very soothing being tickled, so do I and I am very old.

LumpyMcBentface Sun 18-Sep-16 13:10:54

DS is 14 and very cuddly with me and Dh. I don't see anything wrong with what you're describing.

GatherlyGal Sun 18-Sep-16 13:11:45

Ok it must be me then! I guess I just haven't before come across any other teenagers happy to sit on their dad's knee and be stroked and tickled at a table in a restaurant.

Duckafuck Sun 18-Sep-16 13:14:37

Unless you think something inappropriate is happening then yes I think yabu. They obviously have a great relationship and the boy feels comfortable with that.

80sMum Sun 18-Sep-16 13:15:45

I do find that a bit odd, actually. Not really appropriate in a public place like a restaurant table.

StillStayingClassySanDiego Sun 18-Sep-16 13:18:14

I do think a 14 year old sitting on a Parent's knee and being tickled is a bit odd shock, I'm with you OP.

SendARavenToRiverRun Sun 18-Sep-16 13:19:09

I'm with you OP. In public it seems very odd. I would be uncomfortable as well.

TheLambShankRedemption Sun 18-Sep-16 13:23:11

A time and a place.

In their own home or out without guests, they can do what they like as it's their family time.

When they are with guests, I can see how this is tiresome. Yes they have a close relationship but they are excluding everyone else having their own time. I'd be eye-rolling with you OP grin

pinocchiosnose Sun 18-Sep-16 13:23:44

yanbu I think it's odd too

VioletBam Sun 18-Sep-16 13:24:12

It IS odd. There's nothing wrong with a Father and son being close OR affectionate in an APPROPRIATE fashion.

Tickling someone's neck is a very sensual thing to do and once a child reaches gets a bit odd to do that.

I tickle my 8 year old's back or scratch it but my 12 year old would tell me to get off! There are natural boundaries which spring up at about 11 to 13 or so. And that's correct and proper.

Sprinklestar Sun 18-Sep-16 13:28:34

Agree with you, OP. Fine if they're little, but post-puberty is off. Would the naysayers above think differently if the 14yo in question were a girl? What do other family members think? Has anyone ever commented?

treaclesoda Sun 18-Sep-16 13:32:29

OK, it's never occurred to me to see tickling as a sensual thing. I see it more as an annoying thing, designed to wind someone up, not as sensual.

Maybe that's why it didn't seem weird to me?

VioletBam Sun 18-Sep-16 13:34:53

Treacle I think you're thinking of the tickling under armpit or on feet type tickling...OP means more of a stroking-like tickle. Some people refer to stroking as tickling...when it;s on neck or back.

ElsaAintAsColdAsMe Sun 18-Sep-16 13:35:43

I don't think tickling is sensual either.

Certainly not between a parent and child.

If the teenager didn't like it he wouldn't allow it.

This is just a difference of opinion, like parents kissing their kids on the lips, loads of people think it's fine, loads of people think it's disgusting. In reality it doesn't matter if the people involved are fine with it, which it seems they are here.

rainbowstardrops Sun 18-Sep-16 13:37:04

Mmm, yes probably a bit odd. I suppose it depends how mature/immature the son is.

VioletBam Sun 18-Sep-16 13:37:54

Elsa as above, some people call it tickling when they mean stroking. Especially in relation to arms, neck and back.

ElsaAintAsColdAsMe Sun 18-Sep-16 13:40:54

Does it matter if it's stroking or tickling?

It's affection between a parent and child and both are comfortable with it. It's not illegal, it's not sexual, it's probably not what some people would choose, but it certainly isn't wrong.

StillStayingClassySanDiego Sun 18-Sep-16 13:41:37

It's a 14 year old sitting on an Adult's knee that would cause me to look twice , must be uncomfortable for the pair of them

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