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To turn up to a party with a younger sibling

(156 Posts)
kittymamma Sun 18-Sep-16 10:10:22

So, party season is here (all my DD friend's birthday's seem to be this half term!) and we have one this morning, however, it has only just occurred to me that I have DS with me too (8 months old) and no alternative provisions for him to be elsewhere.

Is it socially acceptable to turn up to a child's birthday party with a younger sibling? For my DD party a few months ago, I assumed one parent would (and explained to her how she would get her other two in for free due to age), 1 parent messaged me before hand to ask if it was ok and another just turned up with an older sibling, it wasn't a problem for me as I had catered for adults too and the older siblings joined the adult bunch. But is it ok for me to do this today? I honestly hadn't thought about it until now. It is my childminder's son's party so I'm hoping she will assume that but I didn't think of it until now (party in less than 2 hours).

Cherryskypie Sun 18-Sep-16 10:11:57

An 8 month old is a totally different to a 5 year old who needs feeding and wants to join in all the games. You're fine.

BeBesideTheSea Sun 18-Sep-16 10:12:41

Babe-in-arms is fine.

Sibling (whether older or younger) joining in with the activities, expecting a place at the tea table, and wanting a party bag - only with permission from the host. And definitely not 2 hours before the party!

AddToBasket Sun 18-Sep-16 10:13:07

Of course it is fine for a baby.

Banananananana Sun 18-Sep-16 10:13:10

8 months old is fine.

Cherryskypie Sun 18-Sep-16 10:13:13

grin Obviously you'll feed your baby, but you know what I mean.

Hassled Sun 18-Sep-16 10:14:17

In your circumstances and with a baby it'll be fine. It's not like you're dumping a 5 year old sibling at a 7 year old's party so you can go shopping <still holding a grudge a hundred years later>.

RubbleBubble00 Sun 18-Sep-16 10:14:31

Babies are fine IMO. Just keep tot in your knee or in buggy. There's a mum who always brings older sibling to party's and she sits with a book whole time. I wish she had messaged me tbh as I could have got a wee party bag for her and some food as no ones brings kids unless they are really stuck, surely?

Banananananana Sun 18-Sep-16 10:15:39

(I have visions of you turning up with the baby and holding him aloft declaring "IT'S FINE, MUMSNET SAID IT WAS OK TO BRING HIM!") grin

SukeyTakeItOffAgain Sun 18-Sep-16 10:17:50

Do parents stay at parties now?

kittymamma Sun 18-Sep-16 10:17:55

Thanks all

I now have that vision too Banana grin

kittymamma Sun 18-Sep-16 10:18:43

Kids are only turning 6 this year... I have stayed at every single one up to this point... idk when this changes

MrsJayy Sun 18-Sep-16 10:21:49

8 months fine 5yrs old not so much .years ago there was a mum who would turn up with birthday guest and twins in tow to all parties and let them join in was really awkward even when the kids were old enough to be left she would still hang about with the twins

MrsJoeyMaynard Sun 18-Sep-16 10:24:23

Yes, I'd say it's fine with a baby.

Completely different scenario to an older child who would want to join in with activities, eat party food and expect a party bag too.

Floggingmolly Sun 18-Sep-16 10:38:23

Surely a 6 year old's party is fine to drop and run? Did they specify they wanted parents to stay?

Bountybarsyuk Sun 18-Sep-16 10:45:01

I would just ask when you arrive 'do you need me to stay, I've got the baby' and let her make a decision. She may not mind at all, I wouldn't, or she may prefer to do silly games on her own without an audience. I'd ask as 6 is around the age I started dropping and running.

MorrisZapp Sun 18-Sep-16 10:49:28

Drop and run started round here when kids fully confident using toilet, so around 4 for most of them. There are always a few who prefer to stay, or whose kids cry if left, but mainly it's drop and fetch.

runslikethewind Sun 18-Sep-16 12:23:55

I have gone to parties with a sibling old enough to want to joint in, for example the party has been at a soft play. The invited child's name gets ticked off the party list and I pay for the sibling in as I would normally if visiting at any other time. When the food comes I normally fine out if it's a hot meal or sarnies and I pay for a similar meal for the sibling and ask for it to be served with the party food. The sibling can joint in at no extra expense to the parent hosting. The sibling will also be primes that they won't be getting the party bag as its not their friends party but sometimes the host has extra and volunteers a spare which is kind of them.
At other ones like in church halls the sibling stands behind the invited child at the table with me we chat to,the other parents whilst they eat and then when the invited kids are finished if there's left overs the sibling can help themselves, I also may they can join In to,a degree on the sidelines but to let the friends of the party child win the prizes.
My two are used to this now and seem to know when to stand back and when it's OK to join in id if there are spare seats from no shows etc.

SecretSpy Sun 18-Sep-16 12:27:21

6 year olds parties are drop and run here unless out of the ordinary. But a baby doesn't count anyway, you're not going to sulk if it doesn't get a party bag grin

Floggingmolly Sun 18-Sep-16 12:29:45

Why on earth would you take an uninvited child and make them "stand behind" the invited sibling at the party table?? And then descend like vultures on the scraps the real guests leave behind?? shock
If I was the host I'd feel guilted into inviting the poor kid to join in; but I'd never invite your other child again.

eyebrowsonfleek Sun 18-Sep-16 12:37:28

The baby isn't mobile and going to want food and a party bag so I'd say it was totally fine and not the same as bringing an older child.

coolaschmoola Sun 18-Sep-16 12:41:45

Bloody hell runs - that's awful!! I don't know anyone who would even imagine this might be acceptable!

coolaschmoola Sun 18-Sep-16 12:43:18

You are essentially making them a part of the party by taking them, ordering food to come at the same time, having them loitering waiting for scraps! How horrible!

kawla Sun 18-Sep-16 12:46:44

Runs, grin I struggle to find anything to say but poor kids

Waltermittythesequel Sun 18-Sep-16 12:47:19

I think a baby is find.

However, I never understand the parents that stay at parties.

And they always say the kids are too you. But they're not too young to go to school alone!

There are countless threads on here like this one. All solved by parents unclenching for a couple of hours!

*obviously this doesn't include children who need one to one supervision.

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