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To sell my kids...

(16 Posts)
icantthinkofamnusername Sat 17-Sep-16 08:09:28

So it's 8 am. So far dd1 (6) has thrown a full on teenage strop because...I gave her the wrong cereal (that she asked for)
Then I asked her to get her spelling book so we can practise her spellings in the car as we're going out.

Dd2 (7 months) has kicked of for the last 20 minutes because I wiped her nose...I mean the injustice of it

Do you think they'll be anyone who will buy my kids or should I not go out and hide in the bathroom all day?

Which one's less work? I have 20p grin

TheWingingItMum Sat 17-Sep-16 08:16:53

My morning started at 5am. When my dd (2 years) woke up asking for a bottle. To which I obviously said no. Luckily she went back to sleep til 7am. But has been using my leg as a slide for the past half hour, and when I say 'no more now, mummies leg is hurting' the bottom lip comes out and she starts crying.

I write this as she is still using my leg as a slide.... Anything to keep the peace I suppose hmmwink

DollyBarton Sat 17-Sep-16 08:21:47

I'm on 'sleep in morning' today so I have till 9 to read and chill. Need the toilet though and am afraid if I step outside the bedroom the 3 little ones will sense my movement and start shouting mummy with their happy expectant little voices, excited to see me, so I'll feel I have to go down to them. I can hold it!

Oysterbabe Sat 17-Sep-16 08:24:29

Do you have a bottle Dolly?

I'll take the 7 month old. I have an 8 month old (who has eaten enough toast so is throwing the rest on the floor) so they can entertain each other.

Try breaking them down for parts and then selling. I hear there's good money on the black market for human organs!
Of course, they're probably worth more when adult sized so you might need to wait a few years to optimise the profit grin

MarcelineTheVampire Sat 17-Sep-16 08:31:27

I'll swap - mine has been up for most of the night and my nipples feel like them have been through a vice.

MarcelineTheVampire Sat 17-Sep-16 08:31:58

I'll swap - mine has been up for most of the night and my nipples feel like them have been through a vice.

OhHolyFuck Sat 17-Sep-16 08:45:44

Mine is defective which means we've been in for repair all night again (asthma attack, 2 nights and counting this time, was in a month ago for a week and in February for a week too)
I'll swap for one which means I get to sleep in my own bed?!

Beth2511 Sat 17-Sep-16 10:29:06

Im horrid mummy because i made 22 month old dd sit on rhe floor because 36 week pregnant me couldnt take another elbow in the tummy as she is completely unable to sit still. 25 minute strop later!

TheWingingItMum Sat 17-Sep-16 10:47:59

I am no longer a human slide, yay.

However, my daughter has just had a complete melt down because I wiped her nose.

It's going to be one of them days! Anyone want to swap??

DollyBarton Sun 18-Sep-16 07:11:44

My son used to tantrum about wiped nose and would scream 'put it back in! Put it back in' so I always had to pretend I was shoving snot back in his nose (while using the opportunity to properly clean it). Same thing with wiping food off his face, dirty hands etc. He also lot his shit completely for over an hour of raging on holidays because he wanted us to put sunscreen in his eyes.

I will take 7mo. My 6mo loves other babies. Hell, I will take them both. The 6yo can babysit 2 babies right?

hesterton Sun 18-Sep-16 07:24:45

My chimney needs a sweep. I'll give you half a crown for the six yr old.

hesterton Sun 18-Sep-16 07:25:19

And a florin for the baby if he's well covered.

icantthinkofamnusername Sun 18-Sep-16 08:49:08

Surprisingly they were OK while we were out even if dd2 decided that she would barely sleep in the car so was pretty grumpy by the time we got home.

Maybe I don't want to sell them, maybe just loan them out for the day?

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