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To insist things are true despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary.

(110 Posts)
LumpyMcBentface Sat 17-Sep-16 08:08:01

That 1996 was ten years ago.

Food eaten standing up doesn't count.

If size 12 jeans from Next fit me, I am a size 12.

If something I want is reduced in the sale it is an unmissable bargain.

Gin and slimline tonic has zero calories.

I'm sure I'm not the only one with amazing powers of self delusion. What are yours?

onemorecupofcoffeefortheroad Sat 17-Sep-16 08:12:17

That a glass of wine is one of my five a day
That I can close my eyes on the train home from London late at night after dinner with friends and won't fall asleep
That I'll definitely start dieting tomorrow

AdelindSchade Sat 17-Sep-16 08:17:48

Yes people born in 1996 are most definitely still at primary school.

MeepyMupp Sat 17-Sep-16 08:21:02

Another one here that believes 1996 was only ten years ago confused.

puglife15 Sat 17-Sep-16 08:22:24

That I look really cool and young and like I should be hanging out with a Delevigne

That I could probably win the X Factor, if I went on it, and certainly wouldn't end up as one of the novelty auditions

That if I made the cake myself it's perfectly fine and not at all unhealthy for me to eat nearly all of it, in a matter of hours

ZappDingbat Sat 17-Sep-16 08:22:47

That I'm now a non smoker despite having a sneaky fag once the DC's are in bed most nights.

(Was a 20/day smoker, stopped smoking completely when I started vaping in may. Had a fag on a rare night out, bought some tobacco for my next rare night out but they are slowly creeping back in - to every night. I need to put a stop to this, I liked being a true non smoker.)

LumpyMcBentface Sat 17-Sep-16 08:38:02

These are great grin

Also, wearing trainers all day means I've basically been exercising.

SootSprite Sat 17-Sep-16 08:44:58

I'm not fat, I'm just curvy
I'm still a non smoker because I don't smoke every day
My dd isn't really taller than me

PacificDogwod Sat 17-Sep-16 08:45:07

Unsalted nuts have no calories.

Alcohol drunk at the weekend does not count.

My walking the dog/walking to work is all the exercise I need for a perfect body and enviable cardiovascular fitness (this one is my favourite one).

1996 was most certainly 10 years ago!

x2boys Sat 17-Sep-16 08:46:03

I dont think 96 was even ten yrs ago as the 90s only ended a couple of yrs ago in 96 i was a newly qualified nurse and early 20,s and single now i,m 42 with two children and a husband but still!And i dont really beleive i,m 42 either i,m early to mid 30,s tops ,pizza is healthy even takeaway as it has a tomatoe base so therefore one of your five a day drank with wine made of grapes well obviously you couldnt have a healthier meal if you triedgrin

outcrops Sat 17-Sep-16 08:48:06

That after a few drinks I am pretty much a professional dancer.

Hoppinggreen Sat 17-Sep-16 08:48:10

If I wear trainers I look fit and sporty.
Home made cake is healthy
Food stolen from other people's plates contains no calories
I am not middle aged (44)
I can still dance

KanyesVest Sat 17-Sep-16 08:48:45

I can definitely get enough sleep between stopping reading at 1.30am and the children waking me at 6.30am <yawn>

My niece was born in 1996. She's not in uni now.

SavageBeauty73 Sat 17-Sep-16 08:54:23

1996 was most definitely 10 years ago.

If I wear my gym stuff on my day off from work I have been exercising all day.

Vodka lime and soda is alcohol free.

I'm not 43. Impossible. I'm still 29.

tibbawyrots Sat 17-Sep-16 09:00:36

Chocolate is a vegetable so is one of your 5 a day (it's made from cocoa beans, right?)

As is the slice of lemon in your G&T. (One of your 5 a day)

1996 was 10 years ago, definitely.

Actually, 1986 was only about 10 years ago, too. I look at my date of birth and think "that's got to be wrong as that would make me 47 and I know I'm 26" confused

PacificDogwod Sat 17-Sep-16 09:09:22

I look at my date of birth and think "that's got to be wrong as that would make me 47 and I know I'm 26"

Gawd, me too, I'm 35 at the most just turned 50

Somebody has stolen my adorable baby boys and replaced them with teenagers shock

If I don't look at my house's surfaces, there won't be any dust there.

tibbawyrots Sat 17-Sep-16 09:11:46

The washing up is done because it's in the utility room (and the door is shut so I can't see it)

ffon Sat 17-Sep-16 09:13:11

My house is comfortably untidy. Until visitors are due then somehow it's a tip.

StealthPolarBear Sat 17-Sep-16 09:13:31

Twenty years!

StealthPolarBear Sat 17-Sep-16 09:14:30

Oh sorry get it now, and agree smile

x2boys Sat 17-Sep-16 09:15:34

And i only left school about ten yrs ago so i dont know who these middle aged people are on facebook claiming to have been in my year but they are not my ex class mates.hmm

iklboo Sat 17-Sep-16 09:15:53

Any cake, chocolate, biscuits, sweets etc given to you by someone else has no calories because you haven't bought it.

moodykingfisher Sat 17-Sep-16 09:19:04

Shopping at ocado is really no more expensive than Tesco or asda ( though pretty sure it's on a par with sainsburys)

MerryMarigold Sat 17-Sep-16 09:19:46

That a messy house is a friendly, welcoming house

Definitely that home baking is healthy and non fattening

That not having time for a haircut constitutes 'growing it'

TheEmojiFormerlyKnownAsPrince Sat 17-Sep-16 09:21:48

I'm surel see Ds's little friends, then I remember he's 22

I am in fact 24, even though l have a 22 year old ds.

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