Tesco delivery just turned up, very nice delivery man bought everything into the kitchen, I bid him farewell and he left. Unpacking the shopping, 2 boxes of Felix come out. Once looks like the corner of the box has become soaking wet and it stank like a dustbin. Thought it might just be the outside of the box so opened it up, took the first pouch out.
Fuck, it was like something out of a fucking horror movie. Out a tiny little hole this THING started crawling out, it was yellow and looked like it had a million legs, I thought it was a spider until the legs started separating, they were bastard, bastard, bastard maggots.
I called the tesco customer service line, finally got through, the poor guy on the other end probably thought he was a psychiatrist, he had to counsel me through the fact there was a box of Felix sprouting maggots on the kitchen worktop. He offered me a refund & a £5.00 gift voucher, I told him I didn't want the gift voucher, I just wanted the maggots out of my flat (I didn't realise I had it in me to be so hysterical)
He said the delivery bloke would come back and get them, I agreed so he could see what a cesspit of filthy little crawling bastards of evil that Tesco had brought into my home. The poor driver came back, lovely man he was, he seemed more reluctant than me to look in the box and see the maggots. I gave him the bag and off he's gone with it. Went into the garden to have a fag to calm my nerves and trod on a fucking bastard snail so now I have snail slime all over my sandals.
I don't drink but am considering having a tot of perfume to calm my nerves - it has alcohol in it doesn't it?
I've always been grateful for the fact that the only insects that freak me out are wasps and daddy long legs but tonight I've realised I can add maggots to the list. I want to disinfect the kitchen. I know I'm ridiculous but it was like that first scene of Alien FFS. Just keep thinking, what if I had left the dry food to put away until the morning, I would have had a cupboard full of maggots.
Mr Tibbs is never having meat again!!
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To want to turn my cats vegetarian after this?
45 replies
mycatwantstokillme1 · 15/09/2016 22:16
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