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To think it's horse shit when people say they don't need to drive

(258 Posts)
pleasemothermay1 Thu 15-Sep-16 19:48:13

Until you need to meet up anywhere that's not on there doorstep that is

I well annoyed supposed to be meeting my friend who always says she dosent need to drive as she gets about fine

However trying to meet at at 12.45 to go swimming and the pool is to far for her to get there and back for the school run if she drove it would be a 15 minute drive I then suggested soft play near her house howeve the bus dosent run there is on a industrial estate And she would have to walk 35 minutes before she even got to the bus stop gurr

It's the same every time even if we're meeting up with out the kids in the evening unless she able to get a lift then she can't come

Out so you don't need to drive unless the place is not on yur frigging door step gurr rant over I can understand if you live in London but we live in the sticks

NataliaOsipova Thu 15-Sep-16 19:51:49

I think it depends where you live and on your lifestyle. I have a single friend who lives in Central London, a short walk to the tube/overground station. He is very good at sorting out taxis for himself; will take a lift if offered, but will never assume or ask for one. So - I can fully accept he doesn't need to drive. Someone out in the middle of nowhere with kids? Different scenario, as you can't always rely on taxis (eg in an emergency) and you end up being dependent on other people to a greater or lesser extent. Feel very sorry for those people who can't drive for medical reasons though.

Spudlet Thu 15-Sep-16 19:54:41

You'd be fine in London, but where I live you'd be buggered. You could survive as the village has a shop, pub, cafe, Drs and a primary school but you'd find it tricky to have much of a varied life.

Terrifiedandregretful Thu 15-Sep-16 19:57:46

It depends completely on where you live. I've lived in Central Newcastle, Oxford, Cambridge and not so central London and not needed to drive in any of them. Somewhere rural it's a different story.

JamieStarrIsAThief Thu 15-Sep-16 19:58:09

I never wanted to learn to drive when I was younger. I was anxious about it, I think. I also bought my own home at 21 and I couldn't have afforded to pay my mortgage and go run a car (although I suppose I should still have learned- I wouldn't be in a much better position though without a car!) 😁

I have to say though, I never felt that life was much harder for me not driving before I had DC. I could easily get the bus/get a taxi/get a lift if it wasn't a problem for friends or family. But I think it's different when you have DC- being able to drive now would make my life so much easier. I definitely want to learn asap.

SunnySomer Thu 15-Sep-16 19:59:26

The thing is you don't "need" to meet up at places that are inaccessible. I don't drive because I'm not allowed medically and it used to do my head in when people would organise stuff off public transport routes then roll their eyes when you apologised for not being able to come.

MeAndMy3LovelyBoys Thu 15-Sep-16 20:00:19

I feel really anxious about driving. I was confident when I passed my test back in 2010. But it's been over 6 years now and I haven't been behind the wheel since.
I know that if I did drive though, I would have a lot more freedom and could get around much better.

RuggerHug Thu 15-Sep-16 20:01:13

I've never drove and never wanted to. 28, am fine getting everywhere, I plan journeys if I'm going somewhere I don't know and not in UK so well away from London. It's fine if it suits you and you're not scabbing lifts off people.

Discogeek Thu 15-Sep-16 20:03:21

I only learnt to drive a couple of years ago and now only have a car half the week as I share with DH.
I managed absolutely fine with not driving, I got the train or bus to work, walked or got the bus to town and used taxis when needed. I felt fitter not driving as there was no option of just jumping in the car and all journeys involved some sort of walk.

Life is different now I drive and I can get places quicker and with less planning but not necessarily better.

I think ops issue is with a lazy friend than non drivers!

Redlocks28 Thu 15-Sep-16 20:04:14

I have a friend who can drive but doesn't want to fork out for the costs of a car so assumes other people will ferry her around as cars are clearly free for them confused. THAT is really annoying!

Discogeek Thu 15-Sep-16 20:04:39

Oh and I've never lived in London nor any other large cities.

FlemCandango Thu 15-Sep-16 20:05:10

Give her a lift if it is important to you. Yabu if you expect her to go where you want her to she is living her life I assume without too much difficulty or she would say that she wished she could drive. I live semi rurally and there are issues getting around my county but those are bus route problems and the villages are all pretty boring. I can get to local towns on the train easily and London as I am living near a commuter rail service. So I trek about happily and meet friends in my village or go to that London, etc. I am not particularly bothered that I cant get to the other villages as easily. I can walk to the nearest pool though so I am fortunate.

OiWithThePoodlesAlready Thu 15-Sep-16 20:05:11

I don't need to drive. I live in a big city and could use public transport or walk anywhere I need to go.

It's nice to have the car for days that it's pissing down or to get out the city but it's definitely a luxury not a necessity.

smallfox2002 Thu 15-Sep-16 20:05:16

Yabu, I haven't had a car I would use day to day for 20 years.

Lots of people don't need to drive. Anyone who lives in close proximity to work or public transport for example.

But I love, just love the look and the face of the men at the office who brag about their cars, and I just drop in what little old me has her holidays and Sundays car.

pleasemothermay1 Thu 15-Sep-16 20:06:56

I can't give her a lift I have a 5 seater with two car seats in the back and she has a baby so the extra car seat plus pram wouldn't fit

And constanty haveing to get lifts its not being able to manage without a car it's managing with lifts

glenthebattleostrich Thu 15-Sep-16 20:07:35

Or perhaps you could suggest more accessible places to meet your friend OP.

I don't drive and we get all over the place, but if something is off a bus or train route yes we will struggle, luckily my friends are a bit more understanding and we have tons of choice of activities.

FairyDogMother11 Thu 15-Sep-16 20:08:38

My partner and I bought a house close to both of our workplaces so we could both walk or cycle to work. We're close to the town centre etc. We can't afford to run a car and pay a mortgage, but one day I will want a car - before I have kids - so I'm saving for that. It really depends where you live, there's some little villages just outside our town where it's impossible to live if you don't have a car.

HermioneWeasley Thu 15-Sep-16 20:09:40

Agree, outside London I don't think it's feasible to participate fully without a car

LineyReborn Thu 15-Sep-16 20:09:55

The things you are suggesting aren't really 'near' her house, though.

BitchQueen90 Thu 15-Sep-16 20:10:46

I don't drive and I don't intend to ever learn. I live in the suburbs but everything I need - local shops, DS nursery are a half hour walk away. Live near the train station so can be in the city in 10 minutes. Plenty of good bus routes.

If you live in a village or the middle of nowhere I do think being able to drive is necessary but personally I have no desire to live anywhere like that. Driving lessons, owning and running a car are quite frankly extra expenses that I don't want. (Plus on the 2 lessons I did have I was utter shite so I doubt anyone would want me on the roads grin)

LineyReborn Thu 15-Sep-16 20:11:02

It's really easy to live in Newcastle without a car.

harderandharder2breathe Thu 15-Sep-16 20:11:50

Well she can manage except when you mAke it hard for her... why can't you meet somewhere she can get to on public transport and at a time that suits her as well as you?

I don't drive, manage perfectly well thank you! Walk and train to work, buses, trains or walk to most other places. Yes there are places I can't get to, but there's far more that I can get to! It takes longer but that's the trade off I make for not driving. If a friend really wants to go somewhere hard for me to get to, they either offer a lift or if they can't as you can't, accept that it's not possible and arrange something else

BaronessEllaSaturday Thu 15-Sep-16 20:12:47

Are these things she wants to do so needs a car to do them or is it a case of you want her to do them so you have company.

Want2bSupermum Thu 15-Sep-16 20:12:49

YANBU. Once you have kids you need to be able to drive if you don't live in a city or well connected town. Getting a lift from a friend doesn't work with car seats. We live in a city and have one car. I use zipcar at the end of my next block if I need to drive somewhere and the carseats thing drives me crackers. Once the craze for the Volvo XC90 dies down I will buy one.

MargaretCabbage Thu 15-Sep-16 20:17:57

I can't drive, not through lack of trying, and I manage perfectly well. I bought a home next to a train and bus station, and I'm quite happy to walk, so there really aren't that many places I can't get to and I use a taxi if I need to. I never ask for lifts anywhere.

Isn't there anywhere on a decent bus route you could meet?

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