It's pathetic and I know it doesn't matter. I'm old enough not to care, but I do.
It's my birthday and DH has bought me presents. So far, so good. We make a big deal of birthdays as I never really got them growing up (too poor) and he had so many siblings it was always hand me downs (also really poor)
We are doing ok financially; things could always be better, but that's the case for most.
All of my presents are from primark and catagorically 'un-me'. I detest primark because the clothes don't fit and don't last. DH knows this. I have a few select places where clothes fit (I'm an odd shape and size) and primark isn't one of them. Nothing against the brand, it's just not suitable for me.
I know exactly what's happened. He's left it to the last minute and gone into the closest shop he can that's nearest his work at lunch time. He has literally picked the first things he's seen.
I'm really hurt because I go to such effort and I've just been an afterthought. He's spent weeks shopping to make goodie-bags for a work weekend away (think monogrammed and personalised shit) for the whole company, and I get stuff that a) doesn't fit b) would never wear (satin baseball jacket and matching cap? I'm 35 ffs)
I know it doesn't matter. It's just a birthday and at least he's bought something. I know this. But it's the presents themselves which scream "couldn't give a flying fuck" and, in my opinion, are worse that just saying "I didn't know what to get, how about a nice dinner?"
Tell me I'm being stupid and selfish and a big baby. Tell me to grow up and get over it. I'm really irrationally upset and need to stop it.
AIBU?
Tell me to get a grip and stop reading into this
Hoppityfuckingvoosh · 15/09/2016 19:31
I'd tell him I hope he'd kept the receipt.
Do not let him away with it. You do not have to accept a crap present and be grateful because it's better than nothing.
Return it all and spend time choosing things YOU want. Dh can have the kids on his next available day off, while you shop and buy cake and coffee and have some time to yourself. That is a present you might like!
Sorry for the essay, was my birthday last week and got very little I asked for even though I was asked for ideas. I'm clearly not over it yet 
. The real thing here I think is so much baggage. It's all those years of disappointment from childhood , it's so hard to let go of it. It's also your DP probably having no idea, despite good intentions. I completely get where you are coming from with this but my DSs are just the same as DP. So what I do now is whenever I see something I would like I email it on to them and tell them it's birthday/Xmas idea. I do it throughout the year with stuff at a range of prices. It's all things I can live without but would be good to get. By the time I actually get any of it I've usually completely forgotten about it so it is a genuine surprise. this is just a suggestion to help you avoid a repeat next year.
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I would be very disappointed. I love birthdays and Christmas etc and go to a big effort. OH usually does too but last Christmas he just got it so wrong! A fancy charades game.......not for the family to play "because you like that sort of thing" ??? among another few really awful gimmicky presents, cardboard iPhone projector??..... Didn't say anything on the day but a month later when all the presents were still in their boxes he did apologise 
for his lack of effort. I just said yeah they were a bit crap really :) and a total waste of his money :) he totally agrees and promises this year will be better, I offered to buy him the same presets for his birthday and he was horrified :)
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