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To not be at all insulted and actually find the whole thing funny?

(42 Posts)
TiredBefuddledRose Thu 15-Sep-16 14:29:52

This morning I went to a cafe for a coffee with a woman I know from the ptfa (let's call her Betty), she's a total gossip and is one of those people who spends her whole life falling out with people and always needs to find fault in everything anyone does or sais, I honestly don't think I've ever heard her say a nice word about anyone but she is on the school ptfa and I am the chair so I have to pretend to be nice.
Anyway, we're in there having a coffee and her latest person she'd fallen out with (lets call her Josie) comes in with a friend and starts to tell me everything Betty has been saying about me, it was really awful stuff.

Aibu to find the whole thing kind of funny and to actually admire Josie for having the balls to say it?!!
I'm under no illusions as to what Betty is really like and only give her the time of day because our ptfa struggles for numbers and we need her.

I don't really like gossipy bitchy women and often wonder if they realise that when you stand around in a group bitching about everyone else then as soon as you're not there the knife will be in your back?

ihatethecold Thu 15-Sep-16 14:32:25

Hate gossips.
No need for it.

Planty18 Thu 15-Sep-16 14:35:18

Yeah, I'm totally over these types of people, but I would feel kind of like you. It's more about them. Why on earth Josie is telling you nasty stuff someone has said though I don't know. Gossip is just rubbish. Good for you for a great attitude to it.

MrsDc7 Thu 15-Sep-16 14:37:27

Good for you for being self assured enough to not let it bother you high five Betty is probably very unhappy in her own life if that's how she behaves xx

Arfarfanarf Thu 15-Sep-16 14:37:57


Well yes I suppose it's the sort of thing that's funny if you don't care.

But how unpleasant to actually use you to get at Betty.

For all this Joan knew, you might have been utterly devastated or humiliated. But she didn't care. She just wanted to use your upset to stick it to Betty.


How did it play out? With you sat right there? What did Betty say/do?

formerbabe Thu 15-Sep-16 14:46:30

There's a woman who hates me despite the fact we have never spoken and I don't know her name and vice versa...I find it hysterical!

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost Thu 15-Sep-16 14:49:50

Are they 5 years old

Gottagetmoving Thu 15-Sep-16 14:50:12

I wouldn't give a shit,..never mind just not be offended.

JustSpeakSense Thu 15-Sep-16 14:50:15

I'd steer clear of both Betty & Josie, both utter bitches! I admire your positive attitude OP! Remember we are not designed to be liked by everyone wink

hoddtastic Thu 15-Sep-16 14:50:22

I would wonder what the person who told you's motivation was. It wasn't to make you feel better about yourself was it?

Foxyloxy1plus1 Thu 15-Sep-16 14:52:08

I had a boss who did that. Everyone knew he did it, so you never said anything to him that you didn't want repeating. Everyone knew that if he was doing it to others, he'd be doing it to you.

I caught him out one day telling another colleague I'd done something, when actually, it was him who'd done it. I challenged him and embarrassed him.

But yes, it is quite amusing (and irritating.)

StickyProblem Thu 15-Sep-16 14:52:36

If it were me, I wouldn't think worse of Betty, but it would put me right of Josie for sure.

StickyProblem Thu 15-Sep-16 14:52:56

off Josie

Pettywoman Thu 15-Sep-16 14:54:39

You're right to not let it get to you. Just sit back and let them get on with it. It's about them not you, people like that would slag off a cardboard cutout if it was in the PTA meeting room.

Capricorn76 Thu 15-Sep-16 14:58:42

I'd stay away from Josie too. She only told you to get back at Betty.

I had a friend fall out with a mutual friend and friend A told me friend B had slagged me off. All I was thinking was why didn't she tell me before. Cut ties with both.

TiredBefuddledRose Thu 15-Sep-16 14:59:29

Well at this point I'd already paid for my coffee and chocolate cake so I sat there eating it and making small talk about ptfa stuff.
Nothing gets between me and cake!!!

A few years ago I'd have been really upset by something like that, I've always struggled with self confidence which is probably why I'm wondering about my reaction.

I did tell Josie she was acting childish, Betty pretended she had a call on her phone and after they left tried to deny it.

It must be tiring to always be so nasty.

Gottagetmoving Thu 15-Sep-16 15:08:58

A few years ago I'd have been really upset by something like that, I've always struggled with self confidence which is probably why I'm wondering about my reaction

You are becoming more confident as you get older and reacting in a much better way! People like them don't can take a while to realise that. smile

twinjocks Thu 15-Sep-16 15:09:07

Wait - so Josie said all this right in front of Betty?? That IS funny (as long as you're not upset about it, and it sounds like you're not!). She certainly does have balls!

phillipp Thu 15-Sep-16 15:09:40

Aibu to find the whole thing kind of funny and to actually admire Josie for having the balls to say it?!!

So Josie walked up to you and Betty in the cafe a reeled off a load off stuff Betty has said about you? And you admire her for it?

She wanted to create a scene? Did she hope you would be outraged and give Betty a dressing down? grin

Sounds to me like they are all as bad as each other and your feelings about it are good. It's petty and pathetic and best not to get involved?

chinlo Thu 15-Sep-16 15:10:19

Well done on rising above their juvenile behaviour.

Welcome to the high road flowers grin

VeryBitchyRestingFace Thu 15-Sep-16 15:12:43

Josie sounds properly nasty. shock

Unlike Betty, who at least has the decency to be nasty behind people's backs and nice to their faces.

ChocolateButton15 Thu 15-Sep-16 15:16:37

Josie sounds as bad as Betty. I know someone like Josie who cannot wait to tell everyone all the things that have been said about them. Usually causing huge fall outs. Josie isn't telling you out of concern for you or she would of told Betty she didn't want to hear it at the time.

JustSpeakSense Thu 15-Sep-16 15:18:22

So just to clarify, Josie told you all these things Betty had said about you, with Betty sitting right there with you?

george1020 Thu 15-Sep-16 15:26:31

Wow Josie has some balls although she is a complete bitch! Even though Betty is clearly quite the hateful witch I do feel a little sorry for her, how mortifying.

I wouldn't have any truck with the lot of them. Well done you for being the only adult there.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Thu 15-Sep-16 15:31:52

I suspect that both Betty and Josie NEED the PTFA far more than it needs them.

It might be hilarious to you OP but if you're the chairperson, don't you have a duty to reign this crap in? Other members might leave or be reluctant to join because of this pathetic bitching.

People who might actually have something to offer the PTFA will have better things to do with their time than join in or put up with this shit.

I'd tell both of them to pack it in or be gone.

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