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I've inherited a substantial amount of money, family haven't, help!

(348 Posts)
OopsIdidagain Wed 14-Sep-16 14:58:15

My great uncle (grandads brother) died in January. He has left me quite a lot of money.

GU had no children, but did have a will. He was very well off. His will left everything to my GDad (huge 9 bedroom house with 2 acres of garden, a 4 bed holiday home and a horse) apart from £300k which he left to me. It is of course is a huge amount of money.

I don't understand why he left it to me.

He moved away from us 10 years ago, when I was 16. He used to live in the next village to us. My mum and her two sisters would visit once a week each I'd often tag along with my mum. He was a lovely man, he'd always give me pocket money or sweets when I was younger.

When he moved, he moved to be closer to his sister who then moved to Australia 5 years ago. He never moved back. I would email him often, and when my daughter was born I'd Facetime him with her a few times a month.

The money will be a huge help. But I feel so sorry for my mum and her sisters - they're his nieces and got nothing. I also have 2 brothers, and 3 cousins who also have got nothing. I don't know whether it's because I'm the only girl in my generation.

Should I give some money to my brothers and cousins? Currently only me and my grandad know about the money, but when it comes out it could cause a huge argument and fall out. I'm close to my brothers and the girlfriend and children of one of my cousins, but I can't just single out one of my cousins can I?

I really would like to buy a house. Currently living in a small 2 bed flat with DH and DD and the cat the money will enable us to buy a lovely 3/4 bed house in a decent area closer to my GDad, which also happens to be near a really good primary school, with a bit left over for a holiday. DH has never been on holiday.

But I want to help the cousin who's girlfriend and children are my friends. They're getting married in 2018.

What the hell do I do? Keep all the money or share it?

PanGalaticGargleBlaster Wed 14-Sep-16 15:01:01

Put it on Lucky Jim, 12/1 in the 3.40 At Kempton Park

EarthboundMisfit Wed 14-Sep-16 15:01:06

Perhaps you were the only one who made an effort to stay in touch? I'd buy a house. He wanted you to have it.

KinkyAfro Wed 14-Sep-16 15:02:42

It was left to you, if I were in your situation I wouldn't share it out. Get your house, have your holiday and keep it to yourself

Paulat2112 Wed 14-Sep-16 15:02:48

I would keep it all. You couldn't give to some and not to others as I think that would be a bit unfair. He obviously wanted you to have it for a reason. Were you the only one that kept in touch with him? Go buy yourself a nice house. Possibly your grandad might share some of his money with everyone. But again, he obviously wanted him to have the houses etc.

ProfYaffle Wed 14-Sep-16 15:04:04

I also wonder if you were the only one to keep in touch. Similar(ish) situation in dh's family. His brother inherited a house because he was the only one who really kept in touch with their Aunt. Other brothers didn't have a problem with it.

Roseformeplease Wed 14-Sep-16 15:05:23

Keep it. Don't tell them. Clearly he cherished his relationship with you. Maybe use a small amount for some sort of memorial or annual family gathering but buy a house and enjoy living in it.

allsfairinlove Wed 14-Sep-16 15:05:44

Keep it and if your GD is willing to be discreet, don't tell the others as it will only cause upset.

It was left to you and the will should be respected as your GU's final wishes.

Good luck with the house purchase!

RebeccaWithTheGoodHair Wed 14-Sep-16 15:05:57

Don't know why but "and a horse" made me laugh!

However I do agree you should keep the money, it's not like you're hugely well off and can afford to splash it around, using it to buy a home is absolutely sensible and I'm sure what he would have wanted.

I did originally think you could treat the others to a nice meal out or a weekend away but perhaps that might look a bit like you were rubbing their noses in it. It might be best to just do the practical thing of getting a home and leaving it at that.

Poor you and lucky you at the same time!!

Witchend Wed 14-Sep-16 15:06:01

It's a definite will and I'd assume there was a good reason he chose you.
If you give to some but not other you'll cause more issues.
I'd just be pretty generous as a wedding present.

VladmirsPoutine Wed 14-Sep-16 15:06:23

You could share a portion of it amongst them. It might very well cause a huge fall out which these things have been known to. It depends on the sort of person you are. Legally speaking you can take the whole lot and not so much as give a backwards glance but morally (if you are feeling bad about it) then offer up a share that's to be divided amongst them. This could be as much as £10k or as much as £100k depending on what you feel is right.

A similar thing happened to me - my parents divorced when I was young - my mother went on to have more children but when my father died he left me a lot of money. I suppose it's different for you as - my father had never had a relationship with my half siblings and never 'parented' them but there was a lot of anger and animosity all round when I inherited the money.

Seeline Wed 14-Sep-16 15:06:43

If he bothered to make a will, and specifically named you, rather than the others, the obviously did something that touched him in a particular way. He wanted you (and your DD) to have that money. Think of it as helping her future if it helps. It is a lot of money, but not enough to start sharing around - split 6 ways is much less, and will not help give your DD the chance of a new home.
Did your brothers/cousins ever contact your GU? Speak to him, visit him, FaceTime him - if not there's your answer. Enjoy it.

TooExtraImmatureCheddar Wed 14-Sep-16 15:07:29

Um. Well, if you shared it amongst you, your brothers and cousins that would be £50,000 each. That's still a lot of money. But I don't think you're obliged to do that at all! Tricky. I can see that everyone else will be hurt/angry, and it's not your fault in the slightest!

Would the £300,000 buy you a house outright or would it merely be a deposit?

rhuhbarb4 Wed 14-Sep-16 15:07:35

Keep it all and do with it what you see fit. He obviously wanted you to have it and if he wanted anyone else to he would have left it in his will to them. If your family would fall out with you because your great uncle left you the money then maybe that's one of the reasons they didn't get left anything. Enjoy your money!

Eglantyne Wed 14-Sep-16 15:08:16

Buy a house. He wanted you to have it. No one need know that you have bought it outright. Your primary responsibility is to your daughter in this, not to your extended family. She can live in a nice house with garden and go to a good school.

MrsCampbellBlack Wed 14-Sep-16 15:08:52

Oh dear.

What does your granddad say? Sounds like he has inherited a huge amount - can he give some to your siblings/cousins?

Kanga59 Wed 14-Sep-16 15:09:00

Keep it.

is grandad having the same.worries?

stonecircle Wed 14-Sep-16 15:09:21

Well if he'd wanted others to inherit then he wouldn't have just left it to you ....

Sometimes there's no obvious reason why someone likes another person. He obviously liked you enough to leave you a life-enhancing sum of money. Make the most of it!

ThomasRichard Wed 14-Sep-16 15:09:24

If you share it out between the 9 of you, it's about £33400 each. Personally, I'd be very happy with an unexpected £33 grand! Could you see it that way: an amazing thing has happened for you and your family and you're all getting £33 grand each, which will help in so many ways? If you're going to see it as you losing £266000 then keep it.

MLGs Wed 14-Sep-16 15:09:58

I agree. Keep it and buy a house. He probably left it to you because you kept in touch and face timed with the baby.

Lots wouldn't have bothered (me included, I'm crap)

Maybe your grandad will eventually leave the others something in his will?

legotits Wed 14-Sep-16 15:10:11

In your position I would only consider Mum and Aunts not cousins.

If it would be a big help (it would in my family) I would give them 25k each.
An extra 100k on a mortgage and thinking I'd done the right thing by them is easier than the guilt.

If they had their own mortgage free homes I wouldn't.

Lilaclily Wed 14-Sep-16 15:10:22

I'd keep it, is there any chance the others will never find out ?

16augustholiday Wed 14-Sep-16 15:10:27

Tricky situation

That said, it sounds like you went to a decent effort to have a relationship with him which he appreciated and so wanted to single you out to recognise that and to make life a bit easier for you.

Presumably your mum etc will all get a share when your grandad dies. It is not up to you to have to distribute what was intended for you, hard although it may be.

ImperialBlether Wed 14-Sep-16 15:11:06

VladmirsPoutine, so your mum's children were furious because your dad left you some money and nothing to them? Why on earth would he leave them some money?

emotionsecho Wed 14-Sep-16 15:11:09

He wanted you to have it and use it to make your life better so honour his wishes and do just that. Your Granddad has been left the bulk of the estate could he not share some of that around amongst his children (your mum and her sisters)? Also, presumably your mum and her sisters will inherit from your Granddad so his uncle's legacy could be passed on that way anyway and they could then gift what they want to their own children.

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