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To be annoyed at BIL

(8 Posts)
kat360 Wed 14-Sep-16 10:54:46

For a few years my IL have paid for a family hoilday ever other year for us (Me, OH, dd6, dd5, ds3 and ds2) and BIL's ( BIL, SIL and their 3 dds 9, 12, 15) family, The past two time have been at an all inclusive hotel. This year wasn't suppose to be a holiday year but FIL is retiring next year so thought it would be nice to pay for one last holiday and to celebrate IL 40th anniversary a few weeks before. This time we stayed in a huge house and obviously it was self catering, for what was meant to be a week. We all put a set amount of money towards food, days out, parking, etc

From first getting in the house BIL's family were filled with complaints, there was only one tv, no wifi, the tv was an old style one were a few. First day was taken up with unpacking so we didn't really do anything until the next day. 1st day morning at the beach (us, IL and dn9) then all of us went for a walk to the local town. 2nd day all went for a walk around the arcades and amusements, 3rd day around a different town in the rain because dn's wanted to spend their holiday money (from IL's). All of our kids had been going to bed at 7:30, only ds2 doesn't sleep through the night (he wakes at midnight) Dn's have a later bedtime, sometimes not going to bed until after 11:30pm. To be honest the evenings were full of talk and drink, we thought everyone was having a great time.

Day 4, BIL's family want to go around the shops again, we don't fancy dragging the kids around the shops again. IL ask if we want to take the kids to the beach instead, so we go to the beach and BIL's family go shopping. When we get back from the beach BIL family are all in their rooms, MIL asks Dn's if they want to come on a small train ride that we are planning on going to. They say no, so just us and ILS go. When we get back from the train ride, DH and I take our 2 ds's to fetch some nappies from the shop. When we get back from the shop BIL's family have left.

Apparently the reasons for leaving are:

1) ILS aren't giving his children enough attention
2) Our Ds2 woke them up (30mins after they went to bed)
3) They had to keep picking things up our kids had left everywhere ( we didn't take many toys with them so I dunno what he is on about)

We carried on with the holiday, ILS were very upset but tried not to let it spoil the rest of the holiday. My kids were really upset too.

BIL has been ignoring us and ILS since then, This week he decided to block us all on facebook. Not just him but Dn's too. He has been in touch with MIL to say sorry they left like that but he didn't like our kids getting all the attention and that they have “come off facebook” not blocked us. But I have two facebook profiles and they have only blocked one of them. (I don't really care for facebook politics, it's just annoying that he is lying) He is due to go around ILS to discuss what happened, I know OH will just shrug it off but I'm really annoyed. OH thinks IABU to be angry, am I?

Sorry for the long post.

SissySpacekAteMyHamster Wed 14-Sep-16 10:58:19

He sounds like a sulky teenager.


SaucyJack Wed 14-Sep-16 10:59:05

He sounds like a prick, but if he wants to go to his own parents' house and have a toddler tantrum then that's his and their business.

Not your circus. Not your monkeys.

Starryeyed16 Wed 14-Sep-16 11:00:28

Sounds jealsous and bitter it's not as if his family was excluded and your inlaws took you and your dcs. Sounds as if he's thrown his toys out of the pram as it wasn't the holiday they expected previously and they wanted everyone to do what they wanted to do.

MadameCholetsDirtySecret Wed 14-Sep-16 11:04:13

Just ignore. Don't feed the crazy with attention.

kat360 Thu 15-Sep-16 09:35:10

Thanks all, it's just annoying that he is acting like this.

HereIAm20 Thu 15-Sep-16 11:16:06

He has forgotten that his kids were little once and what is your standard holiday is not the same as for those with teens. Your parents probably thought that going to the beach and on the little train ride etc was a holiday too and enjoyed seeing the joy on the faces of little ones etc which I assume they thought was more fun than walking around Top Shop or Game or wherever teens wanted to shop.

They should be thankful that your kids don't still wake in the middle of the night. Also I guess they have forgotten youngsters come with toys not just phones!

I suspect they were jealous of the simple pleasures you were enjoying etc and possibly it seemed that you had the parents' attention. Has there always been rivalry between the brothers? Did they used to go on hols when their kids were young and yours weren't born with the ILs. If so suggest that the ILs are now doing for yours what they have already done for theirs for years.

ALso perhaps your ILs could point out that they have had the benefit of paid for hols until their kids are that old but that as yours are so young they will not have that benefit until they are teenagers as they are now retiring.

His problem not yours but perhaps a little back up call to your ILs wouldn't go amiss as they might not think of especially the last point about how they have had the benefit for so long - if merely to keep the peace.

I suspect also they were pissed off t was just self catering in a house rather than an all inc they could brag about.

CitizenBloom Thu 15-Sep-16 11:24:35

I wouldn't get drawn into it any further. It's sad the ILs were upset, but the bad behaviour was from your BIL and his family - though admittedly, it sounds as if the house wasn't particularly well-chosen from the POV of those children's ages. No wifi is a dealbreaker for a lot of people with older kids in holiday homes, especially in poor weather.

Let them sort it out between themselves.

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