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To feel like I'm being used?

(4 Posts)
mrsvilliers Wed 14-Sep-16 09:59:02

Can't work out if IABU or if I just need a bit of perspective. I have a long friendship which went on the back burner a bit when I had kids and she didn't. Fast forward a few years and she asks me to be bridesmaid when she gets married, I say yes, spend days out looking at dresses, help with anything she asks, weekends away for hen and wedding etc, all more than happy to do as delighted for her. However since the wedding I am detecting a distinct lack of enthusiasm for meeting up. Suggested meeting up over the summer and she couldn't fit me in for a couple of months, then suggested going away for a weekend (pre kids we would have done this) and am basically told after family, husband and commitments to other friends she doesn't have time or money for anything else. Then to top it all off at an all day event she suggested going to she is now leaving mid afternoon for a dinner with husband and has friends.

I have to say I feel a bit used and can't work out if IABU as if I was just out of her social circle for so long I don't figure in her planning.

I do have other friends by the way grin

RebeccaWithTheGoodHair Wed 14-Sep-16 10:04:06

Sounds like she has used you a bit - are you particularly good looking and would make the wedding day photos look glam?!

It may be of course that she's just a bit thoughtless and wants you when she wants you, and right now she doesn't because she's got a new husband.

So I don't think YABU to feel a bit used but it might be a compliment that she wanted you in her photos!!

mrsvilliers Wed 14-Sep-16 10:16:25

Haha thanks you've cheered me up! I think your comment about wanting me when she wants me is probably spot on. The new husband's friendship set are all quite rich and glam so I don't think I particularly compete. I will leave it for a bit and maybe someone else will want me in their wedding photos in the meantime wink

Yorkieheaven Wed 14-Sep-16 10:32:10

Yes she sounds a tad shallow. Take care she's not knocking on your door again when she needs practical support.

Don't contact her now let her do the running.

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