AIBU to turn a cat into a hat?

[WhooooAmI24601]

We've got 4 cats. All typical; hate us unless there's food involved. One was neutered fairly late in life (age 6) as he was a stray who came to live with us one day. He's been using the litter box for 5 years, so clearly isn't unaware of where he's meant to piss.

I recently decreed that the DCs were old enough for us to begin having nice things around the house again, so went skipping off to John Lewis and found a rug for the living room that I loved. It cost more than I'd usually spend (because of the foolish DCs and their filth) but went for it. 5 weeks later and the devil cat has pissed all over the lovely rug. And it stinks like real evil cat wee, not mild and meek but that "I live here and you will fucking acknowledge it" stink that I can smell everywhere.

Can I kill him? And is there anything I can use to rescue the rug or will I have to go back to buying shitey Argos rugs til the cat dies (which won't be long if he continues his nonsense)?

[acasualobserver]

I think you may need the fur from all four cats to make one hat - depending on the design of course. Is that an option?

[Whynotnowbaby]

I feel your pain, our previously lovely cat has recently turned into an evil territory marker (and she's not even a tom!) I've always loved cats but she has put me off them now, I have to close every door as I go through it just to keep her away from nice things and then constantly nag 4yo to do the same. I would cheerfully sell her to the glue factory atm but am hoping this is just a phase.

[Omgkitties]

That's so odd! 😂

One of my cats, depite knowing exactly where the litter tray was and still using it, would always piss and shit on our bath mats! Not a fucking clue why though.

My DP is excellent at cleaning up the cat accidents so I'll ask him what he does and let you know.

[MotherKat]

Peppermint oil, it will kill the wee smell and make the cats avoid the rug, only useful if you like the smell of peppermint though.
Cover it in bicarb first though, then leave it overnight (with the door shut) then vacuum upthrust bicarb the next day.

[Omgkitties]

Baking soda left for a few hours, vacuum up and make a mixture of washing powder, baking soda and water, leave for a few hours and then vacuum again.

[NotAPuffin]

There's stuff you can buy from pet shops with an enzyme in it that digests the stinky stuff. I don't know what it's called but you could ask.

I don't know how useful peppermint oil would be - in our house it wouldn't make them avoid the rug, quite the opposite in fact - it would guarantee that they'd be rolling around on it in ecstasy all day!

I've always thought that catskin slippers would be very warm and soft.

[WhooooAmI24601]

Right, baking soda is on the rug, will leave it while I go to work and see how it goes. Even the dog looks offended by the stench and she lies in fox shit.

acasual he's a big lad, I reckon I'd get at least half a hat from him alone.

Why I leave the lounge door closed when I go to work and the spaniel (who is the stupidest dog in the free world) opens the door for him to get in there. So now I have to turf him out whenever I leave the house, and he stares at me as I reverse off the drive like he wants to kill me in my sleep. I spend 90% of my mornings chasing devil cats about the house now.

[Farmmummy]

I second the baking soda! I have a cat who is lovely 70% of the time and the rest engages in what I can only describe as guerilla warfare, actively thinking up activities that she knows will piss me off and doing them at the time most inconvenient. Even worse it reduces me from a normally sane (ish) person into someone who engages in this petty warfare with said cat trying to outsmart her and thwart her evil plans, then about 4 days later she's back to normal, I think it's full moon related lol.

[cocklodger]

YANBU.
They seem to have a thing for rugs/mats of any kind don't they.
Little shits.

[Oysterbabe]

I think gloves would be better. Then you can wear them when you stroke the other cats and serve as a warning.

[TVWife]

They see the house as their property and humans as their servants. OK so they know where the litter tray is and what it's for but they still have to mark territory elsewhere and they can't be expected to wait if another cat is using it can they!

If there's not enough fur to make a hat how about using him as a hat trim?

[WhooooAmI24601]

Oyster That is genuinely one of the funniest things I've ever read on here, you are today's winner of the day!

[Unicorntrainer]

Rug doctor have a product for this.

Hat idea sounds like cat karma.

[InformalRoman]

1:10 mix of biological washing liquid in water? The enzymes will break down the wee and the smell will be a deterrent.

I'd threaten him with this.

[Unicornsarelovely]

Thanks op. I also have a devil cat (DH's) who is at war with my lovely fluffy boy. The war seems to be pretty much pissing at each other.

I'll tell DH his cat will be gloves if I have to clean after her again.

[StrongBelwas]

My cat was a little incontinent and the vet recommended Total Care Biological Stain and Odour Remover which actually smells lovely and worked.