Could someone hand me a grip?

[Blueberry234]

Honestly, I think I am losing the plot.
2 boys finished one reading scheme at the same time
Super competitive Mum
One boy gets put on level 3 the other on 4
Mum of level 4 becomes all smug
Boy reading 3 complains books are too easy

Am the mum of boy reading 3. Please could someone hand me a grip to stop worrying and get over myself.

[DerekSprechenZeDick]

Here's many grips. Feel free to use them all

[Blueberry234]

Thank you! I know it's pathetic but other mum is very smug! DS built a hydrogen bomb at the weekend so obviously isn't as dim as she called him

[positivity123]

Have a grip. Life's too short to worry about this stuff.

[mycatwantstokillme1]

why the fuck did he build a hydrogen bomb? Scrap Trident!! :-) :-) :-)

[SocksRock]

Another Mum called your child dim?!? Over reading levels?

[Blueberry234]

Science obsessed DH- not normal I know!

[ghostyslovesheep]

who talks about these things? I wouldn;t have the first clue what level any of my kids class mates where on - not even sure about my own!

[hownottofuckup]

A hydrogen bomb?? Wtf?
Tell the school, they might change their mind and move him up a level...

[TheAntiBoop]

When two competitive mums meet head on it invariably ends in one dwelling on the outcome!

[LumpyMcBentface]

Actual lol at hydrogen bomb. Are you sure?

[Blueberry234]

His mums friends talk about levels all the fucking time.
A hydrogen bomb because my H can and it captured DS imagination. Equally he is overjoyed by the squidgy egg he has produced by putting one in vinegar

[LadyDeadpool]

Is your husband Kim Jong Un? Don't really see how you can make a hydrogen bomb....

[Blueberry234]

lumpy- a hydrogen bomb causes hydrogen atoms to reach critical mass and 'split', thus releasing the huge amount of energy contained with the atoms. This is typically acheived by creating an explosion focused into a (typically) cone point where the weapons grade plutonium is placed. Since we were running out of weapons grade plutonium we used electrolysis to extract hydrogen and oxygen into a test tube and ignited it (almost as much fun!)

[Costacoffeeplease]

Who actually gives a fuck about this kind of thing, really? In a year or two you'll look back and criiiiinge

[TheAntiBoop]

all these countries wanting nuclear weapons are now kicking themselves!

[Blueberry234]

that was DH not me I still wander round asking wtf

[Boundaries]

How old is your son, OP? trying to work out how long I have before mine tries this

[TheAntiBoop]

Yes - don't go into school and loudly tell the person standing next to her about your dh's science experiments.

When you hear the comments just smile and move on.

[Blueberry234]

Nearly 6

[Blueberry234]

Something tells me that the bottle of wine I have consumed on a school night I might regret!

However I can't be arsed with it all. I was actually quite proud of him completing the summer reading challenge and now he has been called dim

[Bitofacow]

My DS was on the bottom table in reception, slow at learning to read etc. Doing A levels including maths and physics. Horses courses etc. Tortoise hare stuff. Reading levels pah.
Smug mum is trying to prove something, the chip is on her shoulder. Bitch.

Do I win the contest for most clichés in a post?

[Blueberry234]

Thank you!

[bluebellsparklypants]

Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.

Omg did she really call your DS dim - oh the saucy madam!

Go DH & DS with the H bomb ..u never know when u might need one heh!?

[bluebellsparklypants]

...be as proud as you like of him btw