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My neighbour is driving me up the wall...

(14 Posts)
JustCantTakeAnymore Mon 12-Sep-16 19:38:45

Im at my wits end. We moved into a new build block of apartments 8 days ago. We are on the top 2nd floor.

I am a single mum of 2 boys aged 4 & 6. I am very busy - I rarely get a minute to myself and I have to be meticulously organised with time as everything just falls to pot otherwise.

Within 2 days of moving in the girl below me (same landlord) had been up 5 times. First time friendly hello and introducing one another, the next few times she bought her 5 month old baby up and just kept coming up for no reason but to chat.

I dont mind being friendly neighbours and will always say hello and be polite but this is taking the biscuit. On first exchange we swapped numbers which was fine by me at first. Ever since she has been non stop whatsapping me inane drivel and asking to come up at least 3 times a day. She comes up and knocks anyway regardless of my answer - one evening gone 9pm she was thumping the door so hard it woke up ds and upset him. 4 days after moving in she messaged me asking to have her 5 month old baby for the afternoon. I was shocked, I am essentially a stranger and told her so.

Throughout the week this has carried on and on until Thursday I had enough - I sent a polite but assertive text stating that all this had to stop. I was getting extremely anxious when the door knocked and I just cannot trust somebody who will pawn her child off to a stranger or be friends with someone so harassing. She believed she had done no wrong and backed off (not stopped completely) for the weekend.

Roll on today she is back to the asking and knocking on and the flurry of messages. I cant do this anymore, I have a life and children to tend to, I do not want to be her friend.

I have been ignoring messages and the door but how do I get this to stop? Its made me so anxious and jittery - I just want to enjoy my lovely new home and children after a hellish year in our old house.

Flufflepuff Mon 12-Sep-16 19:44:29

... Ask her if she's found Jesus and then invite her to your Scientology meeting next week? Start stroking her arm suggestively? wink

Hope someone can come along and give you real suggestions, sounds very tiring and a bit unnerving really. Hopefully she'll get the message before long?

PurpleWithRed Mon 12-Sep-16 19:48:16

God how trying.

My only suggestion is to resend the polite assertive text and carry on saying no and/or ignoring her messages. She may be very lonely and find it hard to make friends, but she's going about it all the wrong way.

myusernamewastaken Mon 12-Sep-16 20:02:51

I think she is sizing you up for some more free childcare for her 5 month old...i would delete her from whatsapp and dont answer the door when she knocks

Mybeardeddragonjustdied2016 Mon 12-Sep-16 20:06:57

Tell her you are there for a crisis but you havent got time for coffee and chatting.

icelollycraving Mon 12-Sep-16 20:08:59

Just block her number. Don't answer the door. She has no boundaries so you need to cut contact. Tricksy.

proudmummyoftwo Mon 12-Sep-16 20:09:03

Or maybe she is extremely lonely and needs someone to talk to? Maybe schedule a night when you can meet up for a chat and get to know her. She might just need someone? Then you can explain that you might not be able to message/reply straight away as she can see your very busy.


Tell her to back off or you'll get a restraining order against her for stalking and harassment!

Seeyouontheotherside Mon 12-Sep-16 22:45:54

Block her number and when she knocks, tell her you're in the middle of something and don't let her in, repeat until she gets it. Eventually she'll get bored and go stalk someone else.

Cherrysoup Mon 12-Sep-16 23:02:47

Is she neurotypical? It's odd that she hasn't responded appropriately to your firm text. I think a face to face chat is needed. Do you want a total block? I think if you try saying occasional is ok, she'll just take the piss.

kissmethere Tue 13-Sep-16 00:00:11

She sounds lonely and naive. Have you tried a sign on the door ? "Please do not knock or disturb after X o clock"
She obviously wants more than you can give her. I don't blame you for not wanting to be friends it's got off to a very bad start.

YourNewspaperIsShit Tue 13-Sep-16 00:43:45

I think she sounds like the last neighbour who lived there babysat for her and she's trying to rush a friendship as quick as possible so that you will do the same

R2G Tue 13-Sep-16 00:49:50

I'd just try and be honest and say I'm sorry I don't have much time for you I've got a really busy regimented life. Sorry about that. Just keep saying a friendly hello and them close your door. If she knocks and wAkes the baby just whatsapp her 'sorry I'm not answering the door as the baby is napping and so I'm doing some stuff (be vague), see you soon tho. Have a good day :-)

VioletBam Tue 13-Sep-16 01:17:58

God OP I had EXACTLY this situation a couple of years ago but my neighbour was on the same floor and her door was a few feet from mine!

She was a lonely single parent with one toddler and I was and am a busy woman with 2 older DC and a dH and she just wanted to be part of our busy household.

I did have to be quite plain with her....she used to let her toddler bang on our door which would make me feel guilty as the toddler would be shouting "Violet! Tum out!"

It was sad...what I did was tell her how busy I was and that I would schedule a time every week for the DC to play and for us to have a chat.

It took ages but she got there in the end.

CoolCarrie Tue 13-Sep-16 01:32:55

I feel sorry for both of you in this situation. It could be that she is lonely or has PND, on the other hand she could just be pushy. Only you can tell after this short time which it might be. I remember hiding behind a sofa to avoid someone who was getting on my nerves, so know how crowded you feel. 😒

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