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AIBU to be slightly concerned about nursery worker?

(24 Posts)
sprite25 Mon 12-Sep-16 17:57:33

DD is nearly 3 and goes to nursery 3 days a week. She seems happy and I'm happy with the people there/how it's run etc. But on a couple of occasions I've noticed some things that one of the ladies there does that's made me feel abit hmm when I went to get DD abit early once she was shouting at the children in quite a loud sort of 'sit down now!' Kind of way. Today as I was leaving with DD two little boys were arguing over a toy or something and she grabbed each boy's arm, dragged the apart from each other and shouted 'stop it NOW!' and picked one of the boys up by his arms and sort of plonked him down on a mat. I can't imagine what looking after all them children is like, I know I couldn't do it but if I had seen her doing that to DD I would of complained. AIBU and just over reacting or should I maybe mention to the manager I've seen some behavior from one of that ladies that isn't quite right?

MimmeeBack Mon 12-Sep-16 18:11:24

No, that's not right. I'd speak to the manager of the nursery and let her know your concerns. Sounds like the woman in question may need a refresher on her behaviour management skills.

PumpkinPie9 Mon 12-Sep-16 18:15:31

Were there other staff nearby? I'd be worried that there was a culture there that made her feel she could get away with that sort of behaviour.

TruJay Mon 12-Sep-16 18:17:49

No that isn't right and if she's happy to do that when parents are present what is she doing when they're not?! I would be mentioning it if it was me

HerRoyalFattyness Mon 12-Sep-16 18:20:00

Definitely mention it. That's not on at all.

sprite25 Mon 12-Sep-16 18:23:56

I've only noticed these things when I've been abit early picking DD up so not really alot of other parents around. When it's the busy dropping off/picking up times she seems as nice as the others. I know that's not the 'norm' of how they deal with things there, it only seems to be this particular one.

Tinkerisdead Mon 12-Sep-16 18:23:58

I work in a nursery and no thats not right. I have to intervene in all sorts of antics and i usually get down to the childs level, hold their hands which usually gets them to look at me and tell them firmly what they need to do as good behaviour. I certainly have never ever picked a child up by their arms. If I shout, like to a raucous crowd, we do the reverse, we call for attention and so something silent like place our fingers on lips and so all the children fall silent and copy.

You need to speak to the manager. We have whistleblowing procedures to report things like this internally but if someone is behaving like this so openly, what kind of culture is in the nursery that it's clearly seen as okay? I'd be reporting this.

MothersGrim Mon 12-Sep-16 18:26:35

Those boys are someone.elses children. If you'd complain if it would happen to your daughter - you should mention it to the manager on behalf of their parents.

Olympiathequeen Mon 12-Sep-16 18:33:45

Definitely report this. That's not acceptable with little children. She's in the wrong job.

DiddysMammy Mon 12-Sep-16 18:38:09

REPORT HER TO THE MANAGER.. I've worked in a nursery. I'm now a nanny. Dragging a child plonking them as you put it is physical abuse.. I dealt with this a room manager. One of the older staff members was very short fused and handsy and refused to listen to me when I asked her to be more careful with her disapline. I took it to the manager and she was sacked.

Imagine how you'd feel if it was your child someone had witnessed her being like this with and they said nothing?

waterrat Mon 12-Sep-16 18:42:19

If she can't stay patient and calm she shouldn't work with young children. Report her.

sprite25 Mon 12-Sep-16 18:58:29

Thank you all for your replies, I'm going to talk to the manager about it ASAP. I just wanted to make sure I wasn't over reacting but now reading it in front of me, I really hope it all gets sorted straight away.

Beeziekn33ze Mon 12-Sep-16 18:59:08


TiggyD Mon 12-Sep-16 19:41:39

Another nursery worker here. Report it to the manager. You don't get physical with the children unless you're stopping an injury.

Hope it all works out ok.

bunniJ Mon 12-Sep-16 19:59:55

oh please do report it. deffo not right. i would be very very angry and very very upset if a nursery worker did that to my child.

iluvshoes Mon 12-Sep-16 20:02:56

Please say u will report her. I'd be so upset if I knew this was being done to my child and none said anything. She sounds like a bully and needs to be stopped.

iluvshoes Mon 12-Sep-16 20:03:27

Sorry noone

TeaAndToast2016 Mon 12-Sep-16 20:49:56

I used to work in a nursery and this is definitely not the way to deal with a situation, that is abuse, have none of the staff ever noticed her behaviour. I would certainly report it to the manager, I'm sure the parents of those 2 other children would be livid if they found out what she had done I know I would.

CrohnicallyAspie Mon 12-Sep-16 20:55:03

Definitely not right. And I'm not a big fan of saying this, but I would report to OFSTED.

My DD's nursery, you can let yourself in via a fingerprint system- so you can drop by unannounced. I have never seen any of the staff touching a child except sitting on their knee etc and to keep the children safe (gently lifting down a child who was climbing on the furniture and not responded to verbal requests to get down)

debbs77 Mon 12-Sep-16 21:07:48

My two year old ended up in A and E after my eldest pulled her by her arm to stop her jumping in dog sick and she had a sling for three days with a 'pulled elbow'. So easy to do and she shouldn't get away with being like that x

sprite25 Tue 13-Sep-16 22:42:39

Just updating, last night I did a letter to the manager detailing what happened and raising points that have been brought up on here which I sent in today. It may seem abit drastic but am considering moving DD to another nursery after some other things that have happened in the time she's been there.

shopaholic999 Tue 13-Sep-16 23:19:02

You did the right thing op, well done on raising your concerns!

VioletBam Tue 13-Sep-16 23:20:46

It's good that you put it in writing.

puglife15 Tue 13-Sep-16 23:26:38

Trust your gut. I moved mine after I went in at a time when parents weren't usually there and noticed a marked difference in staff attitudes and behaviours when they thought no one was watching. It was chaotic too. His new place is so so much better and they actively encourage parents to visit at any time of day.

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