Bit of a back story but my DSIS seems to have periods where she goes from phoning daily to complete radio silence. When you ask her whats wrong it is turned on you or she will say she is fine and you are imagining it only for her to attack you with something weeks later. Normally it is a comment that has been made that she has gone off and analysed and made it into a huge problem. This has been incredibly hurtful over the years but I have never responded and normally end up apologising to keep the peace.
She is a single mum and I have really helped her over the years financially and emotionally to a point where me an DH have fallen out several times over the support I have given her either by way of money when we are struggling or phone-calls that last hours on end (DH thinks she takes responsibility for nothing and then runs to me for help and thinks I should deny this help) Recently I introduced her to a friend of a friend. He is a really nice man and I couldn't be happier for them. But she seems to be on a self sabotage mission and keeps questioning his intentions and getting herself worked up when he doesn't text. I have spent hours (and I mean hours) talking to her and showing as much support as I can, Even when her adult children expressed they were uncomfortable I sat for 3 hours while she cried on the phone.
Anyway she started to go radio silent again. I would text to see how she was and would get yes fine thanks answers and that was that. My DS has been quite ill for a few weeks now and normally she would phone/text daily to see how he is but there has been nothing!! It has gone on for weeks. So from past experience I knew she must have an issue with me but had no idea what!!
I ended up getting really upset and telling her how she had made me feel and that I did not want her phoning me for support if she was to continue playing these games and couldn't show an interest in my DS when I really needed someone to speak to about my fears for him. Her reply shocked me. She said that I have never been happy for her and that I am attention seeking and I am not considering that she has stuff going on too. (stuff that she would normally call me and talk about and I have given her plenty of opportunity to talk about)
So it has been left with me telling her to f**k off.
I am so upset but feel that I cant keep allowing her to zap me emotionally only to turn on me.
My DH's opinion is that this is part of her self sabotage so that if things do go wrong in her new relationship then she can say "well no-one was happy for me anyway so it all went wrong" type thing.
I do not know - Should I try to mend this or walk away?
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lost my temper with passive aggressive DSIS Was I U?
8 replies
tundell · 12/09/2016 12:02
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