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Is it rude to ask people to take their shoes off?

(189 Posts)
ppandj Mon 12-Sep-16 08:44:30

We have wooden floorboards downstairs with rugs on, vinyl in the kitchen and carpet up the stairs and all the way through the upstairs of our house. The vinyl is no problem because it can be easily cleaned. However, pretty much everyone in my and DP's families leaves their shoes on when they come round. I must hoover up about every other day just because of the little bits that get trampled around. Now that it's been a bit wetter outside there are clumps of mud all over the rugs. I always take my shoes off in other people's house, unless they say not to. WIBU to ask them to take their shoes off? I'm prepared to provide slippers/socks!

foreverclockwatching Mon 12-Sep-16 08:47:09

I say yanbu- I like people to do this too. In many cultures (inc where I was raised) it is considered the height of rudeness not to remove!

PrettyBlueDressForTheXmasBall Mon 12-Sep-16 09:29:11

Yanbu.

They are BU for not taking them off, without being asked.

NicknameUsed Mon 12-Sep-16 09:32:30

I always ask if my host wants me to remove my shoes, although round where we live everyone takes their shoes off as a matter of course.

Most of my friends have carpets everywhere, and so do we (it would be too cold without them), so not removing shoes would be considered very rude.

I would never ask anyone to remove shoes though unless they were caked in mud. But again, I don't know anyone who is stupid enough or rude enough not to.

Smartleatherbag Mon 12-Sep-16 09:33:49

With the exception of close family, I think it's rude to ask. I also think it's pretty rude to leave them on though.

PepsiPenguin Mon 12-Sep-16 09:34:15

YANBU

I don't like shoes in my home either, I would make exceptions m if I had a dinner party for example and people were all dressed up with heals and things I wouldn't mind (next day hoover, vax etc) but I've never had too people all seem to just take their shoes off.

I also have wooden floors and rugs, I have slippers (hotel) style if people have cold feet but I just don't like shoes in my house.

Saw a thread like this before and it was evenly spread, was shocked at how nasty it got with people thinking it was disgraceful to ask someone to remove their shoes!

Amelie10 Mon 12-Sep-16 09:35:45

This is always a dividing topic on here. I personally think it's rude to ask people to take their shoes off.

Orwellschild Mon 12-Sep-16 09:37:23

As much as I think your house, your rules, I hate having to take my shoes off. Especially in summer when socks aren't part of the equation. I can't always have perfectly manicured toenails! Being in bare feet in someone else's home is unpleasant.

MatildaTheCat Mon 12-Sep-16 09:37:34

It always makes me smile when my grown up ds come home with mates as they still automatically remove their shoes and leave them all over the hall floor as a throw back from childhood. My dh and I never remember to nor any of our con temporises.

YANBU but you will have to mention it a lot. Slippers are a nice idea for those who suffer cold feet or holey socks.

Thingmcthingyface Mon 12-Sep-16 09:37:44

Another vote for a no shoes house. It's not ok to tramp the street through anyone's home. I find shoe-on houses a bit icky in cities tbh....

ppandj Mon 12-Sep-16 09:37:49

Ok, if you are/hypothetically were a shoe-leaver-onner, what signals would you pick up on that someone would prefer you took shoes off? Ie. Shoe rack by the door?

ppandj Mon 12-Sep-16 09:38:57

I did wonder about putting a basket of slippers/socks by the door (which is also under the radiator so they'd be toasty!).

MatildaTheCat Mon 12-Sep-16 09:39:01

Oh,mand definitely not for an evening occasion, it feels awful to be dressed up and then have to take off your heels.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Mon 12-Sep-16 09:39:09

You'd have to hoover wooden floor boards regularly any way as they show up the dirt carpets absorb.

I don't mind shoes on downstairs but prefer not to have them upstairs where there's carpets. I wouldn't ask a guest to remove shoes though .

ppandj Mon 12-Sep-16 09:41:01

Dame I agree re regular hoovering! I do spot hoovering daily as have a toddler so use handheld to get crumbs etc. It's just the clumps of mud are a bit annoying as my rugs are getting trashed.

Ifailed Mon 12-Sep-16 09:45:42

some people will do it automatically, some will ask and others will not. If you expect everyone to remove their shoes then should at least make it an easy thing to do, provide a chair etc. A lot depends on how people arrive - if mostly by vehicle then I can see how some will be offended as you are basically accusing them of being dirty. Personally I wouldn't really mind, but would not want to be wearing a pair of guest slippers that have been worn by others, don't fancy picking up verrucas.

FelineLou Mon 12-Sep-16 09:46:09

I never return to friends who put their soft furnishings before their guest's comfort. Yes I'll remove shoes if asked but only once. Homes are to live in: GB requires shoes.

wasonthelist Mon 12-Sep-16 09:47:26

How odd this hasn't come up before.

RiverTam Mon 12-Sep-16 09:50:09

Yes, it's rude as its a question to which the answer 'no' is not acceptable. Not everyone is comfortable with taking their dhoes iff and as a host its for you to make your guests feel comfortable.

WhisperingLoudly Mon 12-Sep-16 09:50:33

I'm in the shoes on camp - it's a bit hyacinth bucket to ask guests to remove shoes, but if someone asked of course I would.

enchantmentandlove Mon 12-Sep-16 09:54:27

I have this issue too. Whenever family come over many of them don't remove their shoes and it really bothers me (especially as I have a baby & keep finding bits from outside on the rug she plays on - we have wooden floors except the stairs and landing which is carpet). Dh thinks it isn't rude to ask them to remove them, but I always worry about annoying people. We have a shoe rack but still no one seems to put their shoes on it!

But then I also have an issue with mil always using our upstairs bathroom. We have a downstairs bathroom which is always perfectly clean and ready for guests, but she always uses the upstairs one which (with a clingy baby I very much prioritise cleaning) isn't always ready for guests. I don't know if this is rude of her but it really irritates me.

BorpBorpBorp Mon 12-Sep-16 09:54:49

We remove shoes and wash hands when we come in from outside, and ask that guests do the same. If someone insisted on keeping their shoes on in my house they wouldn't be invited back.

The only exception is tradespeople, I don't ask them to remove their shoes, but I'm always impressed when they offer to.

Floggingmolly Mon 12-Sep-16 09:55:22

Most people think it is, yes. I do it anyway...

GinIsIn Mon 12-Sep-16 09:55:49

I would hate being forced to take my shoes off in someone else's house - sorry!

2old2beamum Mon 12-Sep-16 09:56:20

Your house your call, I always ask when visiting. Most of our visitors ask but always say dont worry,we have 2 LOs in wheelchairs cannot take wheels offgrin

Stick to your guns!

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