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to send the dc to afterschool clubs?

(18 Posts)
AllTheFluffyAnimals Sun 11-Sep-16 16:36:59

My dds are 6 and 9, and the 6yo does beavers, and the 9yo does cubs and jujitsu. They both also go to my sister and brother in law for extra tuition in maths once a week. Dd2 wants to do football too, and I've said yes as dd1 does jujitsu.

I think it's just the same as them doing a dance school as often that is three classes, and I used to do rainbows/brownies/guides plus tap and stage dancing and a drama class plus various instruments over the years, with my sisters doing the same.

Jujitsu has really improved dd1s assertiveness and confidence and they get such great opportunities with beavers/cubs. The tutoring is the only one I would maybe drop as they are ahead as it is but I get it at cost price (she runs a franchise) and the kids love it.

I'm quite significantly skint and need to find £135 over the next couple of weeks to pay for termly subs and trips/camps, never mind transport and uniforms etc. Plus it means they are doing something most evenings so maybe I should let them be bored more to increase their imagination etc. Although they don't seem to have much of a problem in that department.

I should add that I have a serious mental illness (hence the poverty) so the breaks for me are great - they used to go to afterschool club to help me cope which cost a lot more. But then there is all the to ing and fro ing which is stressful and the somehow having to magic up money at a time when I have new pe kits etc to buy. My income should increase soon as I've been put in the support group for esa which is an extra £50 a week, which is an absolute lifesaver and will make the £32 a week I spend on activities much more affordable.

Anyway my friend expressed surprise that I spend such a massive portion of my income on extra curricular activities and said that it's better for kids to have more time at home and now I'm all confused.

OlennasWimple Sun 11-Sep-16 16:40:55

What's best for your friend's DC isn't necessarily best for your DC. It sounds as if they - and you - are both getting a lot from the after school clubs, so I don't see any reason to give them up as long as you can genuinely find the money without cutting back on essentials like food and heating.

KayTee87 Sun 11-Sep-16 16:51:21

If your children enjoy it and benefit and you can afford it then I don't see the problem. I don't think it's good for kids to be bored because all that happens is they end up watching tv, on the iPad, fiddling with mobiles or on social media - sports and clubs have got to be a hundred times better than that!

AllTheFluffyAnimals Sun 11-Sep-16 16:53:06

Doesn't help that I'm crap at budgeting and get caught out with a big bill at the start of every term...

PacificOcean Sun 11-Sep-16 16:55:14

We spend a lot on extra curricular activities too. It's just a choice - like someone who spends more on the weekly shop but less on clothes and make up or vice versa. There's no right or wrong - if it works for you and your DC, ignore your friend.

bevvygoldberg1965 Sun 11-Sep-16 17:00:15

I think you sound like a great Mum and are doing your best for your DC. If you were going without food or something to pay for the activities then, fair enough, your friend might have a point but I'm sure that's not the case. If they enjoy it and you get a bit of time to yourself, more power to your elbow I say.

Shezza71 Sun 11-Sep-16 17:01:57

If the kids enjoy the activities and you can budget them in without having to go without essentials then carry on. If you really need to cutback due to finances explain this to your dc and ask them to choose one activity to drop for maybe just a term then reevaluate your finances after Christmas

harderandharder2breathe Sun 11-Sep-16 17:08:33

If the kids enjoy it and you benefit from the break then ignore advice from anyone else, no matter how well intentioned

Scouting is pretty cheap compared to most things, and although extras can mount up, a word with the leader should enable you to spread the cost more than the standard option if you need to.

AllTheFluffyAnimals Sun 11-Sep-16 21:44:17

I was bracing myself for being benefits bashed- thank you for all your help :-D

Stopdropnroll Sun 11-Sep-16 22:42:09

I'm a scout leader and if you felt you could speak to the cub leader about your situation they would do what they could to help out, whether that be arrange a payment plan or to subsidise certain things. While groups don't have loads of money we'd always try and help out rather than have a keen member have to stop coming. Obviously you can offer to make it up in the future either through helping out yourself (they would bite your arm off) or through a donation when you are able. What is important to us as leaders is that all kids who want to be involved our, not what the bank balance look like ;)

RubbleBubble00 Sun 11-Sep-16 23:30:39

It's your income. If it helps I'm not the most organised but I try to work out roughly extra curricular stuff for the year then opened a regular saver so each month a set amount transfer automatically to this saving account. It's away from my other accounts so not tempted to touch it and have to go and transfer money when needed do kids stuff

RubbleBubble00 Sun 11-Sep-16 23:32:53

Plus don't fall into the trap of complaining to friends about how skint you are then kids doing all th activities because then you get the hmm look

hotdiggedy Sun 11-Sep-16 23:35:09

i dont know what your income and expenditure is but that is quite a lot to spend on activities each week!

Xmasbaby11 Sun 11-Sep-16 23:38:40

It sounds like your dc are happy and doing varied interesting activities. If you can afford it, I'd keep it up.

Wellywife Sun 11-Sep-16 23:41:03

People have different priorities. Like you we have always prioritised experiences for the DC at the expense of things for ourselves.

(I was always surprised that skint friends couldn't afford activities but smoked/had Sky/ate takeaways/bought several magazines a month.) Each to their own.

edwinbear Sun 11-Sep-16 23:48:04

You are offering them a variety of social, physical and academic activities which they enjoy doing and helps you out at the same time. I'd be trying to make these a priority too. FWIW I've just been made redundant and the DC's activities will be one of the last cut backs we make.

AllTheFluffyAnimals Mon 12-Sep-16 21:20:48

It's £2 more than what their dad gives me a week (£19 maintenence and £11 debt repayment) so it's kind of on top of my budget if that makes sense?

hotdiggedy Wed 14-Sep-16 22:27:54

I guess maybe the jujitsu is expensive? Shop around, some football places are really expensive. I started out at a place charging around £7 a session and later found something better for £2 a session! Could you reduce the amount of tutoring sessions to cut the cost?

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