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To think that buying lots of toys for dc takes the shine of their actual birthday presents?

(15 Posts)
Spiderpigspiderpig Sun 11-Sep-16 12:13:04

Ds birthday tomorrow. Gp (dh parents) are visiting for a couple days.
They asked a few weeks ago what ds would like. He chose, they bought.
He's 7 and I've asked mil for past 7yrs not to go overboard as he doesn't need lots of presents. She just doesn't listen. But thinks she is.
So she buys ds a present (digger) for birthday, which she'll give to him tomorrow.
But for past 3 days she keeps whipping out new toys for him & dd. Trucks, figures, dinosaurs.
It's pissing me off!
She does it every time we see them (once a month or 2).
I feel it takes the shine off his actual presents which he'll receive tomorrow.
Dd has got him some dinos for birthday but she's just gone and given him 3!
I tell her, dh tells her and it goes in one ear and out the other, or she twists it like saying its a present for her house (but ends up staying in ours as that's where she gives it and they live 4hrs away), or by not wrapping it.
Aibu that this is too much??!

BuntyFigglesworthSpiffington Sun 11-Sep-16 12:34:19


I was umminh and ahhing until you said she does this every month or two. That's total toy overkill and will take the shine off his birthday gifts.

Mybeardeddragonjustdied2016 Sun 11-Sep-16 12:36:57

Tell her each time you have decided to give half to charity as he gets so much these days.

Pineapplemilkshake Sun 11-Sep-16 13:10:30

Well yes that would be annoying. But it sounds like her heart is in the right place and I'd much prefer this than disinterested grandparents.

PonkAlert Sun 11-Sep-16 13:23:40

YANBU it does sound like a lot of stuff, particularly if it's "outdoing" the gift from your daughter.

However, two months is forever in the life of a seven year old. When I was around that age my aunt used to visit my grandma every Monday afternoon and she would give me 50p if I was there, which I was during the school holidays. The 6-8 weeks between half terms felt like eternity waiting for my 50p!

I would just accept the toys and if you feel that it's genuinely too much then take some to the charity shop. We've had a lot of success with telling DD's grandparents (she's the only grandchild on both sides) that if they insist on spending money on her then it would be nice to spend it on activities rather than "stuff", eg zoo trips, pantomime, a day at the sea side etc. It's a win-win as the house isn't full of toys and we have nice memories and photos of the time spent together.

Spiderpigspiderpig Sun 11-Sep-16 15:44:12

mybeard that is a good idea as that is actually what happens sometimes. I just don't tell her.

Spiderpigspiderpig Sun 11-Sep-16 15:46:25

Oh ponk she'd do all that aswell! She's not shy when it comes to spending money.
I think it riles me as she does like to shop shop shop so I think she does it more for her benefit than dcs.

JoansPenNecklace Sun 11-Sep-16 15:49:39

Perhaps you could say how generous it is of her but that clothes would be more useful, or as pp said- days out all together would be a lovely treat! Could she get books instead?

derektheladyhamster Sun 11-Sep-16 15:56:43

I had so much angst about gift giving when my 2 were younger. I can happily say that it has made no difference to my boys (now 16 & 13).
If it gives the giver pleasure, don't fret about it.

Spiderpigspiderpig Sun 11-Sep-16 17:25:57

joans she never buys books (unless you count the crappy expensive magazines in the shops).... I will try to deflect her with books.
Oh that's good to know derek grin
It's just so much!
I do worry that he will basically just associate gp as gift bearers and that's all they will expect.

She's just whipped out a set of 6 mini diggers, which is weird as she's bought him a large digger for his birthday tomorrow.
I don't understand how ds will find tomorrows present any more special, just because it's wrapped in paper?

bumsexatthebingo Sun 11-Sep-16 18:11:21

YABU imo. My kids get pocket money so get little things throughout the year and friends/relatives visit with gifts and it's never seemed to affect birthday excitement. My sister in particular absolutely spoils them with sweets/gifts/toys whenever she comes to visit. Bigger gifts are generally for an occasion though - b'day or Christmas.
I'm sure he'l still be delighted with his digger and whatever else you have got him. And his cake and cards and being a year older etc.
If they live 4hrs away it's not like they can pop in all the time and they want to spoil their gc. There are worse gp probs you could have.

mycatstares Sun 11-Sep-16 18:15:16

I was always very spoilt by gp when I was growing up but it never made me not appreciate birthday/Christmas gifts nor has it done any damage.
I'd let it go tbh - her heart is in the right place!

Spiderpigspiderpig Sun 11-Sep-16 20:39:16

Yes there could ofcourse be worse gp problems. I am lucky.

bushtailadventures Sun 11-Sep-16 20:46:55

As a gran I am guilty of overdoing the presents sometimes. I know I shouldn't, and I am trying to control it a bit more, but some of it does come from a weird guilty place because I couldn't afford to do it for my dc. There is so much lovely stuff about now too, more than there was 20+ years ago, that sometimes I just can't resist.

As long as it isn't happening every week I wouldn't worry too much, she means well, and your dc will still appreciate presents from other people on the 'special' days.

Spiderpigspiderpig Tue 13-Sep-16 15:20:31

Are you my mil bush grin

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