I'm trying to understand the psychology behind people having large families (by which I mean anything over three children, I guess). NB I'm thinking about people in the 21st century, in the West, with access to contraception and low infant mortality, who don't belong to a culture where it is particularly encouraged to have a large number of children, such as Judaism. And obviously there are circumstances such as multiple births which don't apply.
My visceral feeling is that it is often wrong on many levels. In attempting to enunciate why, I would say people should not have more children than they can afford, than they have time to care for, than can fit comfortably in their living accommodation.
And even in the case where the parents are very wealthy, have a huge house and extra support such as a nanny, there is still the hugely important issue of over-population. It feels like we are at capacity already, without room to increase the population by the amount would result by every couple having even three children.
I'm trying not to be too goady or right-wing, and I have personal reasons for the way I feel (I am involuntarily childless) so please don't be too harsh, but it's something I struggle with ideologically as well as emotionally.
So... AIBU to think that people should be more responsible about how many children they produce and not act solely on their own desires regardless of the potential effects on others? Or is that an unrealistic, draconian expectation?
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AIBU?
Large Families
Czerny88 · 10/09/2016 17:56
How many children do you have? Maybe we can start judging you too??
I agree with you but suspect a lot won't!!
I personally think there is no need for anyone to have more than 3 children, there are too many people on the planet as it is.
That said I do understand that the urge to reproduce is something some people seem to have very little control over and the 'want' for a baby can be over whelming. There are also lots of psychological type reasons, the love of a baby and the feeling that someone needs you for example.
My friend has 3 children, very little money and is constantly stressed by sorting out the kids she has, but is always saying she would like one more 
I don't get it! I have one dd and thats fine for me.
I have 4, because I fucking wanted them and I fucking paid for them. So... Fuck off really 
Well that got off to a good start... 
Ok, I'm "wasting my time and energy", because it bothers me, because it intrigues me, because I have nothing better to do today, and because it's a way of dealing with feelings of jealously about other people who are able to pop out numerous children when I can't. I think what I wrote was reasonably considered, and it's not as if it's totally out of the ordinary for us, as humans, to spend time observing and considering the actions and behaviour of other humans. I believe it's called social anthropology.
Walter I'm not sure I would feel very different, actually. Your scenario is obviously hypothetical and entirely unrealistic, but I don't think I would have four children even if that were the only option, no.
And Cold (appropriate name, if I may say) no, I don't have any children as I am infertile. Judge away... Oh, and you can have your biscuit back, too. Unless it was chocolate.
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I had 3 with my first husband and another 2 with my current.
We can easily afford to and have plenty of money left over so why should I have stopped at one or 2?
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