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to want DP to spend more time with me at evenings and weekends?

(6 Posts)
CaptainObviousTwo Sat 10-Sep-16 17:36:41

DP and I have been living together for about 12 months.
I work from 7am-5.30pm in a reasonably demanding job.
He stays at home each day, completing the last edits to his Masters thesis and running my small online eBay business.
He has also cooks most of the meals each evening.
We have a cleaner, though he does tidy.

At present, as I am the only one working FT I pay for all of the bills, including gym membership for both of us. He has one of my cards which he does the weekly shop on and pay for anything that he needs.

His thesis is practically finished and only needs edits and proofing.
The business is small, and when I did it myself before I started my new job only took me 3 hours or so a day, Mon-Fri.

I'm tired most of the time at the moment, so admittedly am not much fun or particularly energetic however would like to spend time with him in the evenings and at weekends, even if its just going out for a walk.

However, these times he has spent working on his thesis or doing business things. He has admitted to taking naps during the day when I am working, playing games and watching TV, though he does also tidy, do business stuff and thesis things as well.

Whilst I appreciate everything he does for us at home, AIBU to be a bit put out that he is doing work stuff whilst I am at home wanting to spend time with him when he could be doing it during the day, when I am at the office?

nightandthelight Sat 10-Sep-16 18:34:07

YANBU! Time when you are at work is the time for him to do his work. Evenings and weekends are to spend together. I would be very sad and angry in your situation.

Birdsgottafly Sat 10-Sep-16 20:12:16

He's prioritising whatever he's doing of a day, over spending time with you and that needs a discussion.

redexpat Sat 10-Sep-16 21:08:29

Google 5 love languages. Yours is time. His is something else. You both need to learn each others primary language.

minatiae Sat 10-Sep-16 21:15:02

when I was writing my thesis trying to do it at home was a disaster. too distracting.

I would suggest he actually go to campus or the library to do his thesis work during the day while you are at work.

ImperialBlether Sat 10-Sep-16 21:29:30

I think if you took your card off him and gave him a bit of an incentive to do some work, it might help. I did my MA over two years with a full time teaching job and two teenagers, so I don't have much sympathy for him!

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